The Struggle
by princess89
Summary: Is the struggle over for ryan and marissa or has it only just begun? Read on to find out....
1. All Alone in a Crowd

Chapter One: All Alone in a Crowd

All Marissa could hear was the pounding of music. She could barely hear herself think. One thing she did know however was that she had to get out of the place. She loved the Bait Shop but she just wasn't in the mood. Seth and Summer on the other hand were. Marissa glanced over to where they were sitting at the bar. They were both clearly drunk. Summer was squishing his face with her hand and making funny faces at him. They both laughed and started kissing. This immediately reminded Marissa of Ryan and what it once was like. But Oliver had come along and they gradually grew apart. She knew that she loved him and she thought or at least hoped that he loved her back. But it always just seemed too difficult. This was why Marissa was stuck with the love-birds like a third wheel. Trying to stop herself from thinking about Ryan, she barged her way through the crowds to Summer and Seth. For once she seemed to be the only sober person in the place.

"Hey guys," Marissa said to the slightly too happy looking Summer and Seth.

"Hey Co-oop," Summer slurred. Marissa gave her a weird look. She had seen Summer drunk before but she seemed different. Maybe that was just what love does to you.

"Ye so I'm just gonna head off", Marissa said.

"No, Marissa don't leave us!" Seth wailed as he jumped up from his bar stool and hugged on to Marissa. Marissa looked rather surprised.

"I love you too and as a true friend I really think you should go home and sleep." Marissa said as she unlatched Seth's arms from around her neck.

"Ah yes the joys of home sweet home, also known as the place where parents wait up to tell you that you are in two minutes after your curfew", Seth slurred using very dramatic arm movements. Summer was sitting at the bar engrossed in trying to get the last drops out of her glass.

"You have a curfew?" asked Marissa.

"That's not the poi…." Seth's eyes widened. He tapped Summer who looked annoyed at being interrupted "Ooooh look Summer is that not your dad!"

"Oh my god what is he doing here" Summer exclaimed. She grabbed on to Seth's hand and started dragging him to where her dad was.

"Oh wo, wo. Your father and I don't have the best…"Summer shot him a fiery look " Or you know we could go and say hi. Never too late to turn over a new leaf."

They suddenly both got swallowed by all the people. Marissa was left there all alone in a crowd.


	2. Hitching a Ride

Authors Disclaimer: Forgot to say this last time but I don't own anything to do with the oc

Authors Note: Sorry for the short chapters but the third one is longer and is when things actually start to happen – I just wanted to have a small introduction. Please read on I promise it gets more interesting. I'm going to post the third chapter with the second because the second one is so short. Anyway enjoy..

Chapter 2: Hitching a Ride

Marissa managed to make her way through the crowd and was now standing outside in the clear Californian night. She saw a couple of people heading away from the nightlife

"Hey Jake, Alison" they turned round as Marissa ran over to them

"Hey Marissa"

"Hey. Are you guys leaving?"

"Ye, we're just heading to Alison's with a few other guys. You fancy coming?"

"Ummm… no thanks, my heads kinda sore but I was wondering if I could hitch a ride up the road."

"Ye sure. Where's Ryan these days anyway?" Jake asked. Marissa looked down at her feet awkwardly

"Emm, me and Ryan aren't together anymore. It just always seemed so difficult."

"I'm sorry" Jake said sympathetically feeling bad for bringing it up.

"Well that's love for you but in the end it all pays off." Alison said as she snuggled up to Jake. Marissa looked a bit upset.

" Uh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to…"

"No it's fine, I guess it just wasn't love". They all got in to the car, where there were already a couple of guys and a girl, and sped off.

"You can just let me off here" Marissa said to Jake further up the road."

"We can take you home if you want."

"No, it's cool, it's kind of out of your way plus I've got friends just up the road here that I can go to."

"Ok, if your sure"

"Ye honestly it's fine. Thanks for the lift"

"K, see ya" They all shouted bye to her as they went off up a different road. Marissa watched them as they disappeared into the distance. She then turned round and headed up the hill to the Cohen's which was about a five minute walk away. She knew that Sandy and Kirsten wouldn't mind her going over. Her Dad lived on the other side of town and she probably would have just gone over with Summer later anyway. She headed up the hill in to the darkness not knowing what was waiting for her….


	3. The Struggle

Chapter 3: The Struggle:

Marissa knew that the main reason she was going to the Cohen's wasn't because it was nearby. Deep down she just wanted to see him. Even if he won't talk to her. Just to feel his presence. She missed him more than she could bare. She had told Alison that maybe it wasn't love but she was realising that for her it was.

She was starting to get a bit cold in her strappy dress so she clutched her bag and pushed on to the Cohen's. A minute later she heard the noise of a car coming up behind her. She wasn't thinking anything of it until she realised that the car was slowing down beside her. She turned around and the headlights shone in to her face so she put her hand up to her eyes. The guy in the front seat beside the driver rolled down his window. She noticed that he was holding a map so she walked to the window willing to give directions.

"Hey, you lost?" she asked the guy who looked in about his mid twenties.

"Em, ye, I was wondering could you tell me.." she heard the back door click open and at this second she realised she had made a big mistake " could we have your bag?" She started to turn around to make a run for it only to be grabbed by the shoulder by another guy. She tried to get out of his grip but it was useless. Her heart was banging against her ribcage and she could feel the pumping of blood in her ears. Her body had froze in terror but for some reason she did not want to give up. She must have been around Ryan too long but what she hadn't thought about was that there was a big difference in their strength. She was now surrounded by two guys.

"All we want is your bag" grunted the guy who was still holding her shoulder. He was unshaved, dirty and had a deep husky voice. She could feel the roughness of his hand on her skin and it sent shivers down her spine, yet she did nothing.

"Why should I?" She managed to say. She didn't know why she didn't just give them her bag but she just felt that she had to stand up for herself. She had tried to sound confident but knew that she had failed when the other guy laughed in her face

"All you Newport bitches are the same. You think you rule the place and can get what you want. Always so awkward." He turned his back to her. "Well let me break it to you honey, it doesn't happen like that in the real world." He spun around and was holding a gun. Marissa felt her whole body flinch and her eyes filled with terror. The grip on her shoulder tightened. Thoughts were flying through her head – "calm down, calm down. Don't panic". How could she not panic though! She was being held at gun point. He walked over to her and she felt the coldness of the barrel of the gun resting on her forehead.

"You really wanna know why I want your bag? Do you know how much money that I could make just from your cell phone? The easiest thing you could do is to hand over your bag and walk away." Marissa swallowed hard. She was starting to shake out of fear and beads of sweat were forming on her forehead. Before she even knew what she was saying she replied

"So it takes three of you and a gun just to get my purse". The gunmans face turned from threatening to ferocious. All Marissa heard was a loud crack as the barrel of his gun met the side of her head. She felt it smash in to her head and she collapsed to the side hitting the wall that ran along the sidewalk. Suddenly she felt the roughness of the ground against her face. During this she had let go of her bag and it had landed near her. Just as she was pulling her head up from the ground she saw a hand grab at her bag. Before she knew what was happening she felt a boot com in to contact with her stomach. And again. And again. She could barely breathe and was curled up on the sidewalk. All she would think about was the excruciating pain in her stomach and head. Her whole body felt like it was on fire. She heard a screeching of tyres and the roaring of an engine as her attackers ran away.

All she knew was that she had to somehow get herself to the Cohen's and get help. She peeled herself from the ground and gradually stood up. Everything was swaying and she could feel blood dripping from her head. Her arm was grazed from where she had hit the wall. She could barely stand from the shooting pains in her stomach but suddenly an image of someone appeared in her head. Ryan. She couldn't not see him. She gradually made her way along to the Cohen's which was a few houses away. She felt like she was going to collapse but she focused her mind on good memories that she had. All her times with Ryan. Her body was shaking through shock, terror and pain. Her once perfect hair was now a mess and her dress was dirty. She couldn't believe that she had been complaining to herself about being cold only five minutes before. It seemed like a lifetime ago. What seemed like an eternity later she found herself at the Cohen's gate. All she had to do was make it up the driveway.

Kirsten and Sandy were on the couch in the living room watching the tv. Kirsten was snuggled up against Sandy and there was a bottle of wine and two glasses on the table in front of them. It was a typical Saturday night. Or so they thought. The doorbell rang once but neither of them budged, both too comfortable. It rang again.

"Seth must have forgotten his keys. Again" groaned Kirsten as she struggled up from the couch. The doorbell rang again.

"I'm coming Seth. Calm down!" Kirsten shouted as she walked to the front door. She could never have been prepared for the sight in front of her eyes.

"Marissa!"


	4. Stay

Thanks for the reviews. It's great to see that people are reading and enjoying it

Chapter 4: Stay

"Help me" Marissa uttered weakly as she collapsed in to Kirsten's arms. Kirsten's eyes widened in shock as Marissa fell in to her arms. Kirsten sunk to her knees trying to hold up Marissa who was slipping in to unconsciousness.

"Oh my god. SANDY!" Kirsten yelled desperately.

Sandy had thought nothing of Seth forgetting his keys. He forgot them more often than he remembered them. He was just about to take a sip from his wine glass when he heard Kirsten yelling his name. He got up from the couch to see what was so urgent.

"SANDY! Get over here now! Come on Marissa honey. Stay with me sweetie." Tears were starting to sting her eyes. She had known Marissa her whole life. She had watched her grow up and thought of her as one of the family. Now she actually was family. Since Julie had married her Dad Marissa had become her step sister. Her little sister was lying in her arms covered in blood. When Sandy saw the sight his body froze. It took him a second to realise who was lying in Kirsten's arms. He couldn't believe it.

"Sandy! Phone an ambulance!"

"Kirsten…." Marissa said weakly.

"It's ok sweetie, I'm here." Kirsten looked up at Sandy. Her eyes were full of fear for the girl in her arms. Sandy's senses caught up with reality. He ran to the phone and called 911. When he returned Kirsten was crouched over Marissa. Sandy went and knelt beside her.

"She…she won't say anything." A tear slid down her cheek. Sandy held her close to him.

"Don't worry. An ambulance is on its way." However, Sandy knew there was something to worry about. Teenage girls don't just turn up on doorsteps beaten up. Not in Newport. How had this happened? What had happened?

Ryan was in the pool house doing his chemistry homework. Or at least he was supposed to be but he couldn't seem to stop thinking about Marissa. He had tried to forget about her but he couldn't control his feelings. But after the whole Oliver thing he just couldn't cope with it all. He wasn't ready to be in a difficult relationship. Ryan lost his train of thought when he heard the sirens of an ambulance. He put his work to the side and got up and looked out over the ocean. A vast expanse of emptiness. Ryan could see why Seth had sailed away to escape.

Sandy went running out to the pool house. They had suddenly remembered that Ryan was there. They had to tell him. Ryan turned around to see Sandy running towards him. At first he thought Sandy was just coming over to see if he wanted something to eat or something like that but as Sandy got closer he noticed the look of panic on Sandy's face.

"Sandy? What's wrong?"

"Its Marissa…"

"Wha…what's happened? Sandy, what's happened to Marissa!" Ryan was getting angry, one of the emotions he was used to showing. His heart was beating faster. If anything ever happened to her he could never forgive himself.

"I don't know. She turned up on the doorstep all beaten up, but she lost consciousness before we cou…" Ryan had started to run to the house before Sandy had finished. Sandy couldn't even imagine what Ryan was going through. Him and Marissa had been through so much recently and he knew that they hadn't spoken since they split after the whole Oliver fiasco.

When Ryan arrived at the scene he stopped in horror just as Sandy had done. Paramedics were lifting Marissa on to a stretcher. Her head was covered in blood. He ran towards her

"Marissa!" He was stopped by a pale looking Kirsten.

"Let them do their job." Ryan turned to Kirsten. She couldn't believe how vulnerable he looked.

He wanted so much to run up to Marissa and make her better but he managed to control himself, though inside he was breaking down. He followed the paramedics out to the ambulance, never letting Marissa out of his sight. Kirsten gave Sandy a lost look. He walked over to her and put his arm around her shoulder. They walked outside. Ryan was standing staring helplessly at Marissa being lifted in to the ambulance.

"Go ahead, kiddo. We'll be right behind you." Ryan clambered on and the doors shut behind him. Sandy and Kirsten watched as the ambulance blared its sirens and headed off. It was common to see ambulances on the roads but it was always for someone else, it could never be anything to do with you. Except that this time it was. Sandy drew Kirsten in to a tight hug. Even Sandy, who had remained strong, looked lost and worried.


	5. Tears Falling Down His Face

Thanks for the reviews . Sorry I haven't updated in the past couple of days but I've had quite a busy weekend. Sorry that the chapters are quite short but I'll update regularly which I hope will make up for that.

Chapter 5: Tears Falling Down His Face

"We have a Miss Marissa Cooper, age 17, unconscious, blow to the head, possible internal bleeding, cause unknown. We need to get an x-ray and an MRI scan." shouted a doctor urgently as Marissa was being wheeled through a hospital corridor. Ryan was right behind. They passed through a set of double doors.

"Sorry sir, you can't come in here" one of the doctors told Ryan.

_I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show and I thought that being strong meant never losing your self control_

"I'm not leaving her. Marissa!" He tried to get past the doctor but was held back by another two doctors. The double doors closed and Ryan shook himself free and pressed his face against the small window pane just as Marissa disappeared round the corner.

_But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain, to hell with my pride_

Ryan felt a hand on his shoulder and spun around ready to shout at the doctor, but it was Sandy. He had tried so hard to keep himself together but he couldn't do it anymore. He had told himself that he was over Marissa but he clearly wasn't.

_Let it fall like rain from my eyes. Tonight I wanna cry (Keith Urban 'Tonight I wanna cry')_

He broke down and Sandy pulled him in to a hug. Kirsten watched them, a tear slipping down her face. She had never seen Ryan cry before. Ryan didn't do crying.

Sandy Kirsten and Ryan were all sitting in a deserted waiting room. Kirsten was reading a magazine. Or at least she was turning the pages. She couldn't get the image of Marissa when she opened the door out of her head.

Ryan was leaning forward with his head in his hands. _"Who did this to her? How could anyone do this to her?" _His thoughts were full of questions. There was one that kept forcing itself to the front of his mind. _"Is she going to be ok?"_

It was 1:00 am. They all felt like they had been sitting in the waiting room for hours, but it had only been one. Suddenly Jimmy came running in closely followed by Seth and Summer. Kirsten had phoned them all on the way to the hospital. Telling Jimmy had been one of the hardest things that she'd ever done. She had to tell a father that his daughter had been taken in to hospital by an ambulance. Kirsten looked up from her magazine.

"Jimmy!" She got up and pulled him in to a hug.

"Hey man" Seth said awkwardly to Ryan

"Hey" Ryan said quietly. Summer asked the question.

"How is she?"

"That's just it. They won't tell us anything." said Kirsten. Jimmy walked over to the window and looked out with his back to everyone. They all looked over at him, concerned. Kirsten walked over to him and put her arm around his shoulder.

"I'm going to get some air" Ryan said breaking the silence. He headed out the door. Seth started to follow him but Sandy put his hand on Seth's arm. Seth looked round at him and Sandy shook his head. Seth immediately understood and sat down. He couldn't imagine what Ryan was going through. The last time Ryan had seen Marissa was when they broke up and Marissa had left in tears.

It was now 2am. Ryan had come back in at about 1:30am. Summer was leaning her head on Seth's shoulder and he had his head resting on her head. Summer had her eyes closed but she was not asleep. Closing her eyes blocked everything out and made it seem unreal.

Sandy had his arm around Kirsten's shoulders and had pulled her in to him. Sandy had gone to try and find out what was happening more than once but every time he got the same answer "I'm sorry sir but you will just have to wait until the doctor is ready." That was all they had been doing. Waiting.

Ryan hated hospitals. It brought back memories from when he had to collect his dad after he had ended up in some drunk fight. But it had never been like this. This was much worse. He didn't know what had happened. None of them did. And this was Marissa. The girl he was now realising that he truly does love, but he can't do anything for her.

Jimmy was sitting staring in to space. The last time he had been in hospital was after the Tijuana incident. Was he really that bad a father? No parent should ever have to see their child in the hospital yet here he was for the second time. Where had he gone so wrong?

They had decided not to call Julie. Her and Caleb were away in New York and they would be back the next day anyway.

A doctor walked in to the waiting room and everyone immediately sat up, their eyes full of hope.

"How is she? What's happening?" Jimmy asked urgently.

"Marissa is doing well." It was like there had been a cloud hanging over the room that was now drifting away. "She has a couple of broken ribs and minor internal bleeding but she has come through the surgery really well. We conducted an MRI in case of any brain damage from the blow to her head but she has been very lucky, though she has quite a bad concussion so she probably won't wake for a few hours." Seth hugged Summer who was crying out of joy. Sandy kissed the top of Kirsten's head who had a tear rolling down her face. Jimmy knew it wasn't over yet but he was just so happy that she was alright that he couldn't help but smiling. His eyes were welling up. Ryan's body suddenly felt lighter. Just like Jimmy he couldn't help but smile and before he knew it Sandy had his arm around him.

"Who's coming first?" the doctor asked them all. They all looked at each other. Sandy spoke first

"Go ahead Coop. The waiting is over."


	6. Daddy's Little Girl

Sorry I have taken a while to update but I've been getting quite a lot of homework from school but next week is my half term holiday so I'll update more often. Thanks again for reviews, I love seeing what people think.

Chapter 6: Daddy's Little Girl

Jimmy walked in to her room and the doctor closed the door behind him. He walked over to her and held on to her hand. A tear dripped down his face. He sat on the chair next to her bed. He couldn't believe that this was his baby. His closest friend. He moved a piece of hair that was on her face, careful not to touch the stitches on her head.

_Theres two things I know for sure, she was sent here from heaven and she's Daddy's little girl._

Even though she was unconscious he knew that she could hear him.

"Hey kiddo" He was still holding her hand and another tear dripped down his face. "See what you've done. You've made a grown man cry" he said trying to sound happy and half laughing. He paused for a second.

_As I drop down to my knees by her bed at night she talks to Jesus and I close my eyes._

"Everyone's waiting to see you. Sandy and Kirsten and Seth and Summer. And Ryan of course. He stayed with you all the way here. Sandy told me that he was willing to take out a doctor just to stay with you. Only Ryan could do that." he said, trying to sound happy again. He paused again.

_And I thank God for all the joy in my life. Oh, but most of all for butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer_

"I guess I…,I.. uh just wanted to say I'm sorry. I don't know where I went wrong. Everyone keeps telling me that its not my fault but that doesn't stop me feeling guilty. I never seem to be there for you when you need me. I love you Marissa. Don't you ever forget that. No matter how badly I screw up that will never change. I will always love you."

_Stickin little white flowers all up in her hair. "Walk beside the pony Daddy it's my first ride. I know the cake looks funny Daddy but I sure tried."_

At this he buried his face in to the covers beside her, still holding on to her hand. He never wanted to let go. She is Daddy's little girl and always will be.

_Oh, with all that I've done wrong I must have done something right to deserve a hug every morning and butterfly kisses at night._

Kirsten looked up at the clock. Jimmy had been with Marissa for half an hour. She was worried about him. He wasn't very good at coping with difficult situations. He tended to solve them by running away.

"I'm just going to check up on Jimmy," Kirsten said quietly to Sandy. Sandy completely understood. Kirsten was one of Jimmy's oldest friends and friends were what Jimmy needed right now.

Jimmy heard the door behind him click. He was still holding Marissa's hand and was just staring at her. He felt a hand on his shoulder. He knew who it was without even having to look. She just seemed to bring a feeling of calmness and hope everywhere she went.

"She looks so peaceful" Jimmy said weakly, "I just wish she would wake up."

"Don't worry Jimmy. She'll pull through. The doctor said she'll be fine." Kirsten told him reassuringly. Jimmy turned and looked at her. He looked in to her pale blue eyes and wondered why he had ever let her go.

"Where have I gone wrong?" Kirsten pulled over a chair and sat beside Jimmy.

"You can't blame yourself."

"How can't I? Every time she is left with me things go wrong."

"Think of all the times we got ourselves into trouble when we were teenagers. Like that time you got into that fight and you were knocked out and I went with you to the hospital. Your parents were probably wondering what they had done wrong, why things kept happening to you but you knew that it wasn't their fault just like Marissa knows it's not your fault. There was nothing you could have done to stop this." Jimmy was starting to brighten up.

"At least I don't go around blaming other people like Julie does. If she was here she would be finding some way to blame it on Ryan. What was it she used to call him?"

"Bryan." Kirsten said smiling. Jimmy smiled.

"Ye that was it. It took weeks before she got it in to her head that his name is Ryan."

"She can't blame this on Ryan."

"Oh she'll find some way. Before it was because he was with Marissa now it will probably be because he wasn't there. Talking about Ryan, how is he? I know things haven't been smooth between him and Marissa recently."

"He's holding it together, but I can tell that he is breaking down inside."

"I should let him in to see her." Jimmy said standing up. Kirsten stood up too.

"Come here." She opened her arms and pulled him in to a hug.

Jimmy bent down and kissed Marissa's head. Kirsten felt her heart breaking for him. She couldn't imagine what he must feel like. Marissa was the most important thing in his life.

Kirsten held the door open and let Jimmy out. She glanced back at Marissa then closed the door.

Ryan looked up as Jimmy and Kirsten walked in to the waiting room.

"How is she?" Sandy asked Jimmy.

"Uh, there-there's no change. Do you want to go in and see her?" Jimmy asked Ryan. I think she would really like it." Ryan looked at Seth and Summer. Seth nodded his head

"Go on kiddo" Sandy said to Ryan. Ryan got up and headed out of the waiting room. He glanced back and saw Jimmy sitting down beside Sandy. He wasn't sure if he was ready to see her but at the same time he couldn't wait any longer.

**The writing in italics is from the song 'Butterfly kisses' by Garth Brooks. I downloaded it after someone mentioned it in their story. I don't remember who it was but thank you because it's a great song – hope you don't mind I used it.**


	7. You Raise me Up

Sorry I have taken so long to update but I went down to London to see my dad for a few days so didn't really have any time. The italics are lyrics from 'You raise me up' by Celtic woman – as is the title (kinda obvious). Hope you like it. Please review.

Chapter 7: You Raise Me Up

Ryan gently closed the door. He gradually turned around to look at her. He couldn't believe how vulnerable she looked. There were tubes all around her and a beeping machine beside her. He wanted so much to go and kick it and break it. Marissa wasn't supposed to be here. She was lying on a hospital bed thinking that he hated her.

_When I am down and oh my soul so weary_

He just wanted to tell her how much he loved her. He managed to control himself, the palms of his hands becoming sweaty. He went over and sat on the chair that Jimmy had been sitting on only minutes before.

_When troubles come and my heart burdened be_

He looked at her, feeling his eyes welling up.

"What happened Marissa?" He hung his head "I guess I just want to apologise for hurting you. But I love you Marissa. Just wake up."

_Then I am still and wait here in the silence  
Until you come and sit awhile with me_

Ryan lifted her hand and kissed it gently. As he closed his eyes to stop his tears from falling, he didn't notice the fingers on her other hand twitch.

_You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains  
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas_

He got up still completely unaware. He walked over to the window and looked out.

_And I am strong when I am on your shoulders  
You raise me up to more than I can be_

He couldn't believe that everyone out there was getting on with their lives and Marissa was in hospital, her life on pause. It wasn't fair. He turned around to go and sit back down, when something caught his eye. He could have sworn that he saw Marissa's fingers move but then again he wasn't exactly thinking straight.

_You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains  
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas  
And I am strong when I am on your shoulders  
You raise me up to more than I can be_

He rushed over to her.

"Marissa?" he said hopefully as he moved hair off her face. Her hand moved. He may have had a lack of sleep, but he definitely saw that. He held her hand

"Marissa!"

"_Come on wake up" _was all he thought to himself. Her eyebrows moved and she made a faint moaning noise. He let go of her hand and ran out to the corridor.

_You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains  
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas  
And I am strong when I am on your shoulders  
You raise me up to more than I can be_

"I need a doctor!" he shouted desperately. A couple of doctors cane running at his call.

"I think she's waking up." They all ran in to the room. Marissa was beginning to move a bit more. All Ryan could hear was shouting and beeping on the machine getting faster.

They were all in the waiting room in complete silence. Seth heard someone shout for a doctor. He could have sworn it was Ryan. A doctor went running past Seth. He immediately stood up which woke everyone from staring in to space.

"Seth what's wrong?" Kirsten asked in a worried tone.

"I think something's happening" he said absently, staring where the doctor had just run to. He headed off in the same direction. Everyone else stood up.

"Seth where are you going?" Sandy asked, his voice full of concern. Seth sped up. They all followed him, worried expressions on their faces. As they got nearer to Marissa's room voices got louder. Seth ran in to the room. Ryan was at the bedside along with three doctors.

"Miss Cooper? Can you hear me, Miss Cooper?"

Everyone was now at the doorway looking in, when Marissa opened her eyes. They looked full of fear and pain. The machine beeped faster as Marissa struggled for breaths.

"Slow deep breaths" one of the doctors said calmly to her.

_You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains  
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas  
And I am strong when I am on your shoulders  
You raise me up to more than I can be_

Ryan was holding her hand, the tears he had been holding back now falling down his face. Summer stood beside Seth and clasped his hand tightly in hers.

"That's it. Well done" the doctor said softly to Marissa who had now calmed down.

"Pulse and breathing regular" one of the other doctors noted. "It's amazing that she woke up so soon."

Marissa's wide eyes looked over to everyone at the doorway, their eyes all glistening with tears. Her eyes finally rested upon Ryan. There he was, tears running down his face, holding on to her hand.

"Ryan?" she said weakly as a tear rolled down her face. He smiled at her and nodded. He stroked her hair then kissed her on the head.

_You raise me up to more than I can be_

She didn't know what had happened, why she was lying in a hospital bed, but what she did know was that she was surrounded by the people she loved. Before she knew what was happening everyone crowded around her bed. There was Ryan, Summer, Seth, Sandy and Kirsten. And the most important person in her life. Her Dad. Her eyes met his as another tear rolled down her face. He just looked at her for a second then stepped forward and pulled her in to a hug. He held on to her and swore he would never let go. Marissa held on to him, closed her eyes and let the tears fall.

Sandy was holding on tightly to Kirsten who was crying silently. A tear fell down Summer's cheek but she was the one comforting Seth – because obviously hospital rooms are just magnets for pollen.

"We'll be right outside if you need anything and will be back to check up in half an hour" said the doctor. They had all forgotten that the doctor was still there. Sandy turned around.

"Oh, thanks" He shook the doctors hand who smiled then left the room.

Just as Jimmy stood up Summer leapt on to the bed beside Marissa and put her head in her lap.

"Don't ever scare us like that Coop."

"Uh, yeah" She felt a wave of confusion flow over her. She couldn't remember what had happened. She remembered walking to the Cohen's but everything after that was a blur.

Kirsten noticed Marissa's blank expression.

"Sweetie, are you alright?"

Marissa felt a shooting pain in her head. It was unbearable. She put her hand up to her head and the room started to spin. Everyone's voices merged and all she could hear was distant noises. She swallowed deeply, willing the pain to go away. It slowly started to fade as she felt someone laying her head on the pillow. The room came in to focus again and she saw Kirsten's hand come up from under her head.

"Marissa? You feeling ok?"

"I feel kinda dizzy" she said weakly.

"Maybe we should go, this is probably a bit too much just now" Kirsten said.

"Ye, you guys can head home, get some sleep. I'll stay with her" Jimmy said to everyone.

"God, Marissa, you could audition for Casper's girlfriend – you're white as a sheet."

"Cohen!" Summer said hitting him on the arm.

"Uh, sorry. Really need to work on my hospital bedside manners."

There was an awkward silence as everyone looked at Seth.

"What? Has my Jew-fro frizzed up?" he asked putting his hand up to his hair. "I'm telling you all these disinfectants…." He trailed off as he noticed everyone staring at him with unimpressed expressions on their faces. "Ye so, um, do I remember someone say something about leaving?"

Summer put her hand up to Seth's mouth as he continued to talk.

"I'm sorry about this, Marissa." Sandy said apologetically.

"No, it's fine." Marissa said smiling. She had gotten used to Seth's mindless chatting.

"Right, well we should go." Kirsten said leaning over to Marissa and kissing the top of her head. "We'll come back and see you later?"

Marissa smiled at her. Sandy hugged her as did Summer and Seth.

"I'll just have to sort out my Jew-fro"

"Seth, out now" Summer said pushing him in to the corridor.

"I'll see you later Coop"

"Bye" She looked up at Ryan who looked back at her, awkwardly.

"Could I have a minute alone with Ryan?" She said to Sandy, Kirsten and Jimmy.

"Oh, ye sure" they all said at once.

"See you at the main door." Kirsten said to Ryan. "See you later honey" she said smiling at Marissa.

Jimmy closed the door as he followed Sandy and Kirsten out. She was left alone with Ryan. She looked at him. He looked exhausted. He sat down on the seat beside the bed and looked down at his hands awkwardly. It was so much easier talking to her when she was unconscious.

"I just, uh, wanted to say that I'm sorry." He said still looking at his hands. "Sorry for everything. Sorry that I let Oliver get in between us and sorry that I let you go. I couldn't bear the fact that you were lying there thinking that I hated you, and that you hated me. I could never forgi…" Marissa gently took one of Ryan's hands in hers. He looked up at her. He could see tears forming in her eyes.

"I am sorry about the whole Oliver thing" she said, her voice quivering. "But even after everything that happened I never hated you. Ryan I never…" a tear fell down her face, "I never stopped loving you. I couldn't bear to see you so upset and angry and knowing that I had caused it. I should have known that he…"

"No you shouldn't have. No-one saw him for what he was. Not Sandy or Kirsten. Or Seth or Summer. I was never angry I just couldn't cope with losing you. It was too much to watch you disappear. To watch someone I loved slip through my fingers because I had been jealous and blind. The only way I could cope with letting you go was by being angry. All my life I have watched people leave. I thought that maybe telling you to go would make it easier, but it didn't. I love you Marissa and I'm sorry that I ever made you doubt it."

A tear fell down her face. She pulled him towards her and broke down in his arms. He couldn't believe how stupid he had been, ever letting her go. It was never going to happen again. Even though she was confused about what had happened to her, she felt safe in Ryan's arms. Nothing else mattered.


	8. Reliving the Nightmare

Sorry that it has taken so long to update but I've had tons of schoolwork. It's quite long though (compared to my first chapter anyway) – yay:) Please read and review and thanks to everyone who already has, and I'm glad you liked it. Enjoy:-

Chapter 8: Reliving the Nightmare

"Rise and shine!" Ryan unwillingly opened his eyes. He rolled over to find Seth standing beside his bed. He looked at his clock. He had hardly slept all night. He couldn't stop thinking about her.

"Seth it's 9:30 in the morning. We've had hardly any sleep. How are you so awake?"

"I tend to find that lack of sleep makes me feel more chipper, for lack of a better word."

"Chipper?" Ryan said rather bemused.

"Ye, chipper" Seth said grinning. "I am getting a serious lack of chipper vibe coming from you." Ryan gave him the look

"Or you know groggy, moody and scary hair is all good." Ryan touched his hair which was sticking on end.

"Anyway back to the reason I have come to visit you this bright beautiful morning. I thought we could go and visit Marissa. Dad has some meeting thing but Mom said she would take us and Summer. Jimmy will need a break after staying with her all night."

"Ye, sure."

"Oh, wo. Did I sense a tiny bit of chipperness in your tone?"

"Is that even a word?" Ryan asked whilst struggling up from his bed.

"That's not the point. Come on man. She's going to be fine. She'd love to see us, or at least you anyway."

* * *

Kirsten walked in to the kitchen where Seth and Ryan were both eating bowls of cereal.

"Hey guys. How you feeling?" she asked Ryan. He was about to reply when Seth cut in

"Oh, he's full of chipperness. Aren't you Ryan?" Ryan glared at him.

"Is that even a word?" Kirsten asked him as she made herself a coffee.

"What is everyone's problem with chipper!"

A couple of minutes later Sandy walked in to the room, doing up the cuffs on his shirt.

"Considering what we've all been through, you're looking rather chipper this morning son."

Seth looked very pleased whereas Kirsten and Ryan just looked at Sandy.

"See what I've had to live with all these years." Kirsten said to Ryan.

"Oh, I love you too honey." Sandy said planting a kiss on Kirsten's cheek.

* * *

Jimmy opened his eyes and prayed that it was all just a nightmare, but he knew it wasn't when the room came in to focus and he saw Marissa lying asleep on the hospital bed. He looked at his watch which said 10:30am. He had been sleeping on and off, the longest being about half an hour. He heard the door open and turned around to see a doctor.

"She still asleep?"

"Ye."

"She was put on quite strong pain killers so she'll be out for a while. She's doing well though. We'll have to keep her in for a few days to keep an eye on her."

"Wh-whatever is takes to get her better." The doctor smiled at him sympathetically.

"There's a café on the next floor up if you want anything." Jimmy looked at Marissa, reluctant to leave her.

"Don't worry there'll always be a nurse around for when she wakes up."

"Thanks doctor."

"No problem." He shook Jimmy's hand then left.

Jimmy walked over to the window and opened the curtains. It was typical Californian weather. The sun was shining and the sky was a beautiful shade of blue. He walked over to Marissa and sorted her covers which were falling of the bed. He gently kissed her head and went out to get a coffee, gently closing the door behind him. He headed towards the stairs when he heard a familiar voice

"We're here for Marissa Cooper."

"If you would just like to sit here and I'll let the doctor know."

He saw Seth, Ryan, Kirsten and Summer at the reception desk.

"Kirsten."

She looked around on hearing her name. He looked exhausted – not surprisingly.

"Jimmy." She walked over to him and pulled him in to a hug.

"How you holding up?"

"Ok, I guess." He shook Ryan and Seth's hands and gently hugged Summer.

"How is she?" Summer asked, her voice full of hope for her best friend.

"They gave her pain killers so she's asleep just now."

"Oh, maybe we should come ba…." Summer started.

"No, no. I'm sure she'd love you to be there."

"You look like you could do with a coffee, some sleep and a shower," Kirsten said to Jimmy, "I mean not that I'm saying you're dirty just that uh…"

"No it's fine," Jimmy cut in, laughing at Kirsten trying to recover herself. "I wouldn't mind a hot shower and a mug of coffee. I forgot how much I hate hospitals."

"Right then I'll take you home," Kirsten said to Jimmy "and you guys go and see Marissa and I'll be back later," she said to Ryan, Seth and Summer.

"Thank-you so much…for everything. If there's ever anything I can do…"

"Jimmy it's fine. I'm more than happy to help. Let's get going. Bye guys."

"Bye," Ryan, Summer and Seth all said to Jimmy and Kirsten. Just as they left a nurse approached them.

"Are you here for Marissa Cooper?" asked the nurse.

"Ye," replied Ryan.

"Follow me."

* * *

The nurse opened the door to let them all in.

"She had some pain killers so she may sleep for a bit - one of the side effects."

"Ok, thanks," Summer smiled at the nurse.

Summer perched on the end of the bed and Ryan and Seth sat on the two chairs beside the bed.

"I hardly slept last night," Summer said.

"Same," replied Seth. I can't even imagine what Jimmy is going through."

"Julie gets back later today. I have to say I'm not looking forward to seeing how that one will turn out," Summer said.

They all sat in silence just staring at their friend, all wondering the same thing – "_What happened? And what will happen?"_

_

* * *

_

Jimmy opened his front door. The TV remote and his half drunk beer were sitting exactly where he had left them when Kirsten had phoned him on the way to the hospital, the night before. He couldn't believe how much had happened in the past 12 hours.

"Jimmy, you ok?" Kirsten asked him.

"Ye. It's just all so surreal. Only a matter of hours ago I was sitting on that couch enjoying a beer with no idea what was about to hit me."

"I know. It's only just hitting me, how real it all is. Things like this don't happen – at least not in Newport. Hey why don't you go and have a shower and I'll clean up here."

Jimmy looked at her surprised.

"Oh come on! I know housework isn't exactly my strong point but I'm sure I can manage one small room."

"Are you sure? I mean this room is a lot more spacious than it looks," Jimmy said sarcastically.

"I'll struggle through somehow," Kirsten smiled "Now go."

Jimmy obeyed and left to have a shower.

* * *

He walked in to the living room scrubbing his hair with a towel. He froze when he saw the sight in front of him.

"Kirsten! I didn't know you had it in you."

"You're welcome," she said, smirking at his shocked expression.

"Oh, uh, sorry. It's great!"

The room was completely tidied and the sun was shining in.

"I've never been the tidiest person and having Marissa here as well didn't exactly improve the situation."

"Oh, I know. I clearly remember your dorm room."

"Ok, now that's not fair. It was _so_ small that just having all my stuff in the room cluttered it up."

Kirsten nodded her head, clearly not convinced.

"So, um, do you want a coffee or something?

"I should really get back to the kids. But thanks."

Jimmy smiled at her. "You're welcome here anytime – I'll give you a call when it gets messy again."

"Come here." She hugged Jimmy. "Now you get some rest and I'll be by later."

"Thanks."

She let herself out. He was so lucky to have a friend like Kirsten. She was always there when he needed her the most.

* * *

He stared ahead, deep in concentration. This was his chance. He boldly reached out and did it.

"Check mate," he said, very pleased with himself.

"Except that it's not."

"What!" he exclaimed, his joy suddenly sinking.

"Cohen, that's like the 10th time that Coop has beaten you, just give up," Summer said, exasperated.

Marissa had woken up not long after they went in. Seth had gone and raided the children's games cupboard, insisting a board game would be exactly what Marissa needed, and returned with chess. He managed to rope Marissa in to playing him. Summer sat doing her nails (and making snide remarks on Seth's lack of chess skills) and Ryan sat playing with a small ball that Seth had also found.

"Oh, I'm sorry but I do not see you participating."

"Uh, clearly busy. Nails can be like magnets to dirt. I mean it's just like – eewww!"

"Just admit it Seth, I am clearly better at chess than you," Marissa said. Seth opened his mouth to say something but Marissa cut in

"And don't even try the excuse that you let me win." He shut his mouth and looked stuck for words.

"Wow! Is that really Seth Cohen without a sarcastic comeback?" Ryan said.

"You know what, I think it is," Summer said jokingly.

"Well they do say there's a first time for everything. Maybe the next one will be Summer not caring about the grain of dirt in her nail or wait, wait! I know – Ryan going a day without his wife beater!"

"Oh, ho," Ryan scoffed. He looked at Summer who had a glint in her eye. They nodded to each other and turned to Seth.

"Uh, guys. Remember, friends are the most important thing in the world," he said as the smirk faded from his face when he saw Ryan and Summer turn to him. Before he knew what was happening a ball hit his head and Ryan rugby tackled him to the floor and pinned him down. Marissa and Summer just laughed at the scene in front of them.

"Nooooo, not the jew-fro," Seth shouted.

"We'll only let you go when you take back what you said. I mean it wasn't even true. There are like 10 grains of dirt…."

She trailed of when she noticed everyone staring at her in amusement. There was a knock at the door and they all turned around. Suddenly things didn't seem so funny anymore.

"My name's Inspector Trueman, this is Detective Morrice. We would like to ask Marissa Cooper a few questions."

Marissa's heart sped up. She wasn't ready. She couldn't do it.

* * *

Kirsten was walking along the hospital corridor. She saw a couple of policemen talking to the receptionist. She didn't think anything of it until they headed towards Marissa's room. She sped up to try and catch up with them. She knew that Marissa wouldn't be ready to answer any questions. They reached the door and disappeared in to the room. A few seconds later she opened the door.

"……ask Marissa Cooper a few questions."

"Mum" Seth said as he struggled up from the floor.

"Seth, what are you…… never mind." There were more important things than why Seth was lying on the floor. She turned to the police officers.

"Hi, I'm Kirsten Cohen," she said shaking their hands.

"I'm Inspector Trueman and this is detective Morrice," he said, as they both showed Kirsten their badges. "We just want to ask Marissa a few questions concerning last night. Are you of any relation to Miss Cooper?"

"Oh, no, just a close family friend."

Marissa was sitting there with a million thoughts running through her mind _"I can't do it. Not yet."_ But in the back of her mind was a voice telling her to do it. She had to go through it sometime….

"I'm not sure if she's ready yet though," Kirsten said.

"No, no I am," Marissa said with as much confidence as she could. That little voice had reached the front.

"Are you sure? You don't have to yet if you don't want to," Kirsten told her, her voice full of concern.

"No, I want to," Marissa said still trying to convince herself.

"Miss Cooper is a minor so she may have an adult present."

"Do you want me to stay?" Kirsten asked her. "Or I could phone your dad."

"No I don't want to worry him."

"I'll stay then?"

"Ye" She attempted a smile.

"I'll have to ask the rest of you to leave." Inspector Trueman said.

Ryan just stood there staring at him as Seth and Summer started to leave

"Sir, you'll have to leave the room."

"Ryan, just go. I'll be fine," Marissa said weakly but forcefully.

But he could tell she wasn't fine. He could hear the fear in her voice and could see it in her eyes.

"I'm not leaving you!" he said anger rising inside him. Not anger with Marissa. Anger over the fact that he couldn't protect her when she needed him the most.

"Ryan, please!" She could feel tears forming in her eyes. Ryan felt a hand on his shoulder and whipped his head around.

"Don't worry, I'm here for her," Kirsten told him gently. The officer took hold of his arm.

"Sir…" Ryan shook his arm free.

"Don't worry. I'm leaving." He took one last glance at Marissa and saw her eyes glistening with fresh tears. He couldn't bear to leave her like this.

"Come on man," Seth said to him. Ryan managed to stop himself from running over to her, and walked out the door with Seth following. As Summer was closing the door she smiled reassuringly at Marissa, who smiled weakly in return. It broke Summers heart to see the fear filling up her best friends innocent eyes. She didn't deserve it.

* * *

Kirsten sat on the chair beside the bed and took Marissa's hand in hers. She gently squeezed her shaking hand to let her know that she was there and wasn't going to let anything happen.

"Basically we are here to try and figure out what happened last night. Just a few simple questions. Ok?"

Marissa nodded her head still fighting to hold back the tears, but having Kirsten there made her feel safe.

"So you were out at The Bait Shop with your friends Seth Cohen and Summer Roberts. Is that correct?"

Marissa nodded her head.

"Sorry, I'm going to have to get you to speak – for the recording." Detective Morrice was holding a small recording machine.

"Yes," She mumbled.

"Could you tell me when and how you left?"

"Uh…" She could hear her voice quivering so she took in a deep breath and told herself to stay strong, everything was going to be ok. "I left at about 11:30. Seth and Summer go out together so I felt like a bit of a third wheel and I just wasn't really in the mood. I lost them in the crowd so I decided to leave. I saw some people from school heading out in their car so I asked for a lift up the road." She swallowed and looked down at her hands. She could feel the tears coming but forced them back. Kirsten could tell how difficult it was for her to relive everything that happened.

"So where did you asked to be dropped off?"

"I got dropped a few houses down from the Cohen' at the junction so that I could walk up there – they were heading off at the junction."

"Why didn't you go back to your parent's house?"

"Well my dad lives a bit away, not really in the direction my friends were heading. Plus Summer, Seth and I were going back to the Cohen's so I thought I'd just see them there."

Marissa was finding it hard to hold herself together. She didn't want to go through it again, to relive the nightmare.

"So what time would you say your friends left you at the junction?"

"Are all these questions necessary?" Kirsten asked, noticing that Marissa was finding it difficult.

"It is important that we get an idea of what led up to the event."

"It must have been about 11:45," Marissa said.

"When you got out did you notice anything strange, any parked vehicles?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Could you tell me what happened next?"

She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. Kirsten saw her hand shaking.

"I started to walk to the Cohen's. I had only been walking for about a minute when a car pulled up…" The tears reached her eyes. It was all flooding back to her. The voices, the grip on her shoulder. The cold barrel of the gun. A tear silently rolled down her cheek but she forced herself to go on.

"A car pulled up to the kerb beside me."

"What colour was the car?"

"Um, black. I think. It might have been blue I don't know, it was dark."

"What happened after that?"

Marissa sat staring straight ahead of her. Another tear rolled down her face.

"Marissa, honey. It's alright. You don't have to do this now." It tore Kirsten apart to see her like this.

"How could I have been so stupid?" Tears were now rolling down her face. Her voice was quavering. "He got out the car, I didn't know what to do, and then he…..he…." It was too much for her. She broke down sobbing. Kirsten sat on the edge of the bed and pulled Marissa in to her.

"Shh. It's alright." Kirsten could feel Marissa's body shake with each sob. She held on to her, just hoping that it would all be over soon. That the nightmare would end. Though she new it wasn't a nightmare. It was all real. Every single tear.


	9. Breaking the News

Once again sorry for taking so long to update, but I just seem to have so much to do. I hope it was worth the wait. Also thanks to everyone has reviewed for the great comments.

Chapter 9: Breaking the News

Ryan opened the door and gently closed it behind him. Marissa was lying on her side with her back to him. She rolled over when he walked in. He couldn't believe how sad and lost she looked. Her face was still stained with tears.

"Hey," he smiled at her.

"Hey," she attempted a small smile.

He went and sat on the chair beside her.

"So, Kirsten just took Seth and Summer home, and said she would call your dad to get him to come over." Kirsten had told Ryan everything that happened in the interview. He could see that she was still thinking it all through, over and over, it haunting her thoughts. Ryan cupped her chin in his hand and she looked in to his eyes.

She could look in to his eyes forever. They were full of hope and love – two things she really needed.

He wiped away the mark from a tear off her face. He lent in and gently kissed her on the lips.

For that one second when his lips met hers all his love and hope took over her body, and all the horrible memories were erased. She just wished it could last forever.

He drew away from her. He could have sworn that he saw a flicker of light in her faded eyes. He pulled her in to a hug. He felt her flinch for a second then it was as though her body melted in to his. She let all her fear drain out of her and gripped her hands tightly behind his back. She felt so safe in Ryan's arms. Nothing could hurt her when she was with Ryan.

* * *

Jimmy was about to open the door, but he stopped when he looked through the small window. They looked so peaceful together. So perfect. They were sitting side by side on the bed. Marissa had her head resting on Ryan's shoulder, her eyes shut, and he had his arm around her shoulder.

Out of the corner of his eye Ryan saw Jimmy standing at the door. He got up off the bed to let him in, waking Marissa up. She opened her eyes.

"Hey, kiddo."

"Daddy." She smiled as he bent down and kissed her head.

"How you feeling."

"Oh never better," She said sarcastically.

"Sorry stupid question. It'll all be over soon though. I promise. Here," he gave her a magazine, "figured you'd be sick of chess." He forgot how great it was to see her smile. She started to flick through the pages.

"Hey, Ryan, can I have a minute?" He motioned towards the door.

"Uh, sure." They both went in to the corridor, leaving Marissa to her magazine.

"Kirsten told me briefly over the phone about the police being here."

Ryan just looked at him uncomfortably, not sure what to say.

"I guess I just want to know what happened. She's smiling but I can tell it's just a cover for what's hurting her inside."

"Uh, well, Kirsten was the one that was with her. She told me that it didn't exactly go too well."

"What happened?" Jimmy asked, concerned.

"Kirsten said that they were asking her questions and she broke down in tears after a few. I guess she just couldn't cope. Not yet."

Jimmy sat on a chair in the corridor and put his head in his hands.

"Dammit. Someone should have phoned me!" He couldn't believe that she had been through so much and he hadn't been there to comfort her. To make her feel better, like fathers are supposed to.

"You must think I'm a rubbish dad."

"Look, Mr Cooper, I know I've never really gotten to know you but one thing I do know is that you're a good father. Ye, sure you might not be there every time she needs you, but who is. You and Marissa have something I never had with my dad. Even when you're not there she loves you and she knows that you love her. I'd give anything to have known my dad like that."

* * *

Sandy came in the front door.

"Hey, honey."

"Hey," Kirsten called from the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of wine. Sandy went over and kissed her. He saw her wine and looked confused then looked at his watch.

"And here I thought I'd misplaced a few hours."

"Ye, well, after everything that happened I think I'm entitled to a glass of wine in the afternoon." She replied very bluntly. She picked up the glass and started to walk away.

"Hey, hey," Sandy touched her shoulder. "Are you alright?"

"Actually, you know what, no. I'm not alright. I'm anything but alright." Sandy's face was full of concern. Kirsten turned around to face him.

"We had a visitor at the hospital earlier. In fact two. Inspector Trueman and Detective Morrice, I think were their names." Sandy suddenly understood. He took his jacket off as Kirsten leant against the counter and took a gulp of her wine.

"Judging buy the size of sip you just took, I'm guessing it didn't go too well."

"She's only a kid, Sandy. How's she supposed to cope? I shouldn't have let them stay. I knew it was too soon. I just wish I had…" Sandy walked over to her and took the wine glass out of her hand and put it on the counter.

"Hey." He pulled her in to a hug. "It wasn't your fault. Where was Jimmy anyway?" She pulled out of his hug.

"I'd just dropped him at home, and Marissa didn't want to worry him so I stayed with her in the interview." She picked up her glass and took a small sip as Sandy went in to the fridge. The front door opened.

"Heeeeelloooo! Anybody home?" They looked at each other. They had forgotten about this part. Telling Julie.

"Ki ki!"

"Hey," Julie ran over to her and kissed her on both cheeks.

"Cal."

"Sandy." They stood a few metres away from each other, both trying not to look the other in the eye and trying not to look too uncomfortable (failing miserably).

"So how was New York?"

"Oh, it was fantastic. Cal here surprised with a romantic dinner in lets just say a very, very nice restaurant."

"Aaww, Cal. I didn't know you had it in you."

Kirsten looked at Sandy as if to say "watch it".

"Anyway, the shops there are to die for. Oh, that reminds me, I got you a little something. I'll just pop out to the car to get it."

"Wait, Julie, I need to talk to you about something."

"I'll only be a sec."

"Julie, it's really important."

"You might not think so when you see what I bought you." She turned and headed towards the door.

"Julie, please."

"Gosh, Ki-ki, what's gotten in to you? I'm sure it can wait one sec."

She turned and headed towards the door again.

"Julie, Marissa's in hospital."

Julie suddenly froze, her back to them all. She slowly turned round.

"What did youjust say?"

"I'm so sorry Julie, I…."

"What's wrong with her? What happened?" Julie felt like she had just been slapped across the face. How are you supposed to hold yourself together when someone tells you that your teenage daughter is lying in hospital.

Kirsten looked down at her hands, taking a deep breath. She knew it was going to be difficult, but just seeing Julie so happy made it even worse. She had to break some of the worst news a parent could ever receive.

"For christ's sake Kirsten! What happened to her!" Kirsten looked up at Julie, someone who was usually so strong, yet her wide eyes were filling with tears.

"She was mugged." Julie made a small noise.

"Ju-ju. You alright?" Caleb went over to Julie who was staring straight ahead. Julie forcefully wiped away a tear that had rolled down her cheek.

"How is she?"

Kirsten could tell that Julie wanted to break down in tears right there but Julie would never want to look weak, not even in front of friends.

"She had to go in to surgery because of internal bleeding, but she pulled through."

More tears rolled down Julie's cheek.

"I want to see her."

"She's at Newport General," Sandy replied. Julie was still standing there, her whole body frozen. Kirsten walked over to her and took her arm in hers.

"Come on Julie I'll take you out to the car." She gently led Julie outside glancing back to Sandy and her Dad. Even Caleb was shocked by what just happened.

"Take care of her." Sandy said to Caleb. Caleb put out his hand. Sandy looked at it and after a second gripped it firmly. Caleb then left without saying a word. Sandy was left standing there, everything that had just happened running through his head. Kirsten came back in and closed the door.

"Now that's an experience that I don't want to have again. I've never seen Julie like that."

"What about your Dad. He looked pretty shocked, and that doesn't happen often." Kirsten walked over to him and leant her head on to him.

"You know what, I think I need that glass of wine," Sandy said.

Kirsten looked up to him.

"I thought it was too early."

"That was then, this is now." Kirsten smiled at him and kissed him softly on the lips.

They linked arms and walked in to the kitchen.

"We should phone Ryan and let him know that Julie's on her way. He might need to prepare himself."

"You do that, I just need a drink."

* * *

She dialled in Ryan's number. He picked up after a couple of rings.

"Hey"

"Hey, it's Kirsten."

"What's up?"

"I just thought I should warn you that Julie is on her way."

"She knows?"

"Ye, her and my Dad came round and we had to tell her."

Everything went silent. Ryan's mind was filled with one thought – Jimmy and Julie.

"Ryan? You there?"

"Ye, sorry. Look, you've got to stop her."

"What? She's already left. Why?"

"Jimmy's here."

Ryan didn't have to say anything more. Kirsten new exactly what would happen with Jimmy and Julie at the hospital, and she knew it wouldn't be good.

"I'm on my way, just hold on."

The line went blank, and Ryan was left standing at the entrance to the hospital until he turned around and ran back inside. He had to warn Jimmy.

* * *

Kirsten went over to Sandy and took the wine glass, which was half way up to his mouth, out of his hand.

"Hey! I was about to drink that."

"We don't have time. Jimmy's at the hospital."

Sandy looked at her blankly.

"And Julie's on her way."

"I was getting there, don't rush me." He turned Kirsten round by her shoulders and pushed her towards the door.

"Hey, where are you guys going?"

Sandy and Kirsten had both forgotten that Seth and Summer were upstairs.

"Julie knows."

"And Jimmy's at the hospital."

Seth and Summer both looked at each other worried.

"If you guys are going then we are going too."

"Seth just stay here."

"I am not missing Julie and Jimmy having a face-off!" Summer hit his arm. "Uh, I mean Marissa will need all the support that she can get."

"Get moving then."

Seth and Summer ran out the front door and in to the car followed closely by Sandy and Kirsten.

"Let's see if we can stop world war 3."

"OK, slight exaggeration Dad."

"You sure about that?" Sandy replied, hitting the accelerator.

* * *

Ryan crashed through the door. Marissa and Jimmy both looked up in shock.

"Ryan what's wrong?"

"Julie's on her way," he panted.

Marissa and Jimmy just looked at him. Jimmy's expression was full of shock, unlike Marissa's whose was full of fear.

"What do you mean she's on her way?"

"Kirsten just phoned me. Julie and Caleb had gone and visited them and they had to break it to her."

Jimmy was lost for words. He turned and looked at Marissa who shook her head, her eyes filling with tears.

"Don't leave," she uttered weakly. He took her face in his hands.

"I'll never leave you." He kissed her forehead and wiped a tear off her face. "Don't worry kiddo, everything's going to be alright."

He stood up and ran his hand through his hair. He looked at Ryan.

"I'm ready for her."

* * *

"If you would just like to come this way Mrs Cooper."

"Cooper-Nichol."

The nurse smiled at her.

"It's this room just here."

Julie walked over to the door that had a small blind over the window pane. Her hand was shaking as she reached out to open the door. She twisted the handle and pushed it open.

"Julie."

The first thing she saw as she walked in was

"Jimmy." She said coldly. Her eyes drifted past him. She put her hand up to her mouth as her eyes once again filled with tears. She walked over to the bed which Ryan was standing beside. She took Marissa's hand in hers.

"I was so scared," she said as she held on to her hand and stroked her hair. Marissa looked down not wanting to look at her Mum. Julie turned around to face Jimmy.

"How the hell could you let this happen?"

She didn't shout at him but her voice was full of anger and her eyes looked almost red with rage.

"Oh that's new Julie. Anything goes wrong with Marissa it's always my fault."

Marissa put her head in her hands and started to cry silently. Why did it always have to happen like this?

"Well let me tell you, if I could have done anything, and I mean anything , to have stopped this from happening then believe I would have!" He said back raising his voice slightly.

"That's the problem though, isn't it!"

Kirsten gently opened the door.

"You never actually seem to do anything!"

Kirsten, Sandy, Seth and Summer all went in to the room. Julie and Jimmy seemed completely oblivious to the fact that they had walked in and no-one, not even Ryan, had noticed Marissa crying silently in her hands.

"And I can tell you now that you're not going to get the chance, 'cos I am never leaving her in your care again!"

"You've got to be kidding me!"

"First Tijuana and now this. I am not going to stand back and watch you destroy our daughter."

Jimmy just stood there, an expression of shock across his face, completely lost for words.

"Hey, come on now Julie. That's not fair," Sandy said.

Julie's eyes shot over to them all.

"What the hell are you all doing here!"

"Hey don't talk to them like that!" Jimmy shouted defiantly. "They've been amazing. Kirsten was the one that found her."

"Found her! What the….You know what, I don't care what they've done but this is between me, you and Marissa.

Ryan walked over and stood beside Seth, Summer, Sandy and Kirsten.

"Not anymore."

"Oh don't you even think about opening your mouth. From what I remember Marissa came home in tears after you left her after some nutcase pointed a gun at her. You have absolutely no right to be here!"

"Well at least I was here, and at least I actually care about how Marissa feels and not just how I feel."

"I can't believe you can just stand there and let him talk to me like this," she directed to Sandy and Kirsten.

"You are unbelievable." Jimmy said.

"Oh, I'm unbelievable, am I!" Julie raised her voice.

Suddenly they all seemed to be shouting, arguing with each other, Seth and Summer trying to get everyone to stop. They were all so caught up in the argument that they had forgotten about the person who knew what was true. Marissa.

Marissa couldn't take it any longer. All the fear inside her turned in to anger.

"Why don't you all just shut up!" She shouted as loud as she could. Everything went silent as they all turned to face her. Tears were streaming down her face. She stood up from her bed.

"Why doesn't someone just ask me what I think! What I want!" Ryan stepped forward and to take her arm and get her back on the bed, but she snatched her arm away as soon as he touched her.

"Just get out!"

"Kiddo…" Jimmy started to say.

"All of you! Just leave me alone!" she screamed. They all slowly started to leave. Ryan lingered for a second then closed the door behind him.

* * *

Marissa sat down on her bed. Her body felt completely drained of energy. She curled up on her bed and cried to herself, each sob shaking her whole body, with no-one to comfort her. 


	10. Broken Heart

Sorry that I have taken so long to update. Also sorry it's so long but I just hope you enjoy it. Reviews are much appreciated. Oh and merry Christmas to everyone!

Chapter 10: Broken Heart

They had all been sitting in the corridor in silence. Ryan and Seth had left to take a trip to the vending machine. Neither of them could cope with the deadly silence and the mounting tension. Summer could silence anymore.

"I'm going in to check on Marissa."

Silence…

Summer looked at everyone's blank expressions.

"Ok then."

Seen as no-one seemed to be paying attention she decided to just go in. She looked over at the bed but it was empty.

"Coop? Marissa?" Her heart was beating faster. It had never crossed her mind that Marissa might try to do something to herself – she didn't exactly have the best history in that area. Her eyes rested upon the room's private bathroom. She walked over to the door which was slightly ajar and pushed it open. Marissa was sitting in the corner of the room curled up against the wall. She looked like death. Summer ran over to her.

"Oh my God! Coop!" She knelt down beside Marissa.

"It hurts." Marissa whispered almost inaudibly.

"What hurts?" Summer was so glad to just hear her say something. When she had walked in to the room she thought she was dead. She had already experienced that once before – she never thought she would have to go through it again.

"Everything."

"I'm going to get a doctor."

"No, no. Please don't." She held on to Summer's hand.

"Ok, ok. I won't. Why are you in here anyway?"

"I...I… don't remember. I remember feeling dizzy and sitting down, but I don't remember coming in here."

She looked in to Summer's eyes.

"I'm scared." A tear rolled down her face.

"Awww Coop." She pulled her in to a hug. " I know you are, but everything will be alright. Come on, let's get you back into bed."

She helped Marissa up from the floor and back to the bed. She could see that Marissa was in pain – both physically and emotionally.

"Are you sure you don't want me to get a doctor?"

"No, I'm fine."

"You don't look it."

"I just wish for once that they would get along. Is it really that difficult!"

Summer knew only too well what it was like to see your parents constantly at each others throats.

"They don't mean to hurt you."

"Ye, well they do hurt me, whether they mean to or not."

Marissa could feel a lump in her throat. She didn't want to cry anymore. She was too tired of crying.

"They don't realise that every time they argue, every time they try to ignore each other, every time they glare at each other, a small part of me crumbles. A small piece of my heart disappears."

Summer felt like her whole heart was being ripped from her. She couldn't believe that she had never realised how much Marissa was hurting. She felt as though she had let down her best friend. Summer took Marissa's hand. Marissa looked up at her. Suddenly Summer noticed it. Marissa's eyes which had once sparkled, looked completely dead. The light that once shone through them had been switched off. Not knowing what else to do Summer wrapped her arms around Marissa. What she didn't realise was that it was exactly what Marissa needed. She just needed someone to hold her close, to make her feel safe, feel loved. Someone to try and pick up the pieces of her broken heart.

* * *

They were still sitting in complete silence, all still in shock over what had just happened. Suddenly the silence was broken.

"That's a nice picture."

Everyone turned towards Caleb who was studying a painting of the alps on the wall across from him. He noticed everyone just staring at him none of them showing even the slightest interest in the painting.

"What! I'm sorry but after being a business man for thirty years, it's hard to sit quietly, especially in awkward silences."

Jimmy muttered something under his breath. Julie's eyes darted towards him.

"What did you just say?" Julie asked very defensively.

"Nothing."

"Don't play games with me Jimmy."

"Oh, sorry, I forgot that your whole life is just one big game and all you care about passing go and collecting your $200, no matter what you have to do."

"Well at least I do something to keep my life together."

"Sorry, but marrying an old rich guy for his money is pretty low."

"Oh you have crossed the line!"

Sandy suddenly stood up surprising everyone, including himself.

"Sandy…" Kirsten knew that it was never a good idea to get in the middle of one of Julie and Jimmy's fights.

"No. I'm sorry, but I can't take this any longer. Do you not realise how pathetic and selfish you are both being! Marissa is sitting in there in floods of tears because of you, yet here you are again. You're driving your family away because all you both do is think of yourselves. You have one daughter in there in tears, and the other hundreds of miles away. Maybe you should just stop for a second and think about them. About how they feel, 'cause if you don't then sooner or later you're going to be too late. Do you really want to lose your kids just because you are incapable of having a normal conversation, and acting like adults! I thought that maybe what just happened would make you see sense, but clearly it's going to take more than your 17 year old daughter lying on a hospital bed in tears! If I were Marissa I would want to be as far away from both of you as possible!"

At this he stormed down the corridor. Julie, Jimmy, Caleb and Kirsten just sat there staring in the direction that Sandy had gone in, all wearing expressions of complete shock. Julie's expression, however, was mixed with offence.

"Oh, he has no right…"

Kirsten plucked up all her courage.

"Julie, I think you should leave."

"Kiki…"

"No, I'm sorry but I think you've gone too far this time."

"Julie I think you should listen to her." Jimmy said.

"Oh, you're just as much in the wrong as she is," Kirsten said to Jimmy.

Jimmy was shocked that Kirsten would say something like that to him, but really he knew that he deserved it. He really had crossed the line this time.

"You're right. I'll just go and get a cab home."

He turned and started to walk away. He took a couple of steps then looked back at Kirsten.

"I'm sorry."

"It's not me that you should be telling.

Jimmy glanced at the door to Marissa's room.

"Tell her I'm sorry. I…I… can't face her right now. Not after what I've done to her."

Kirsten nodded gently. She knew that he had never meant to hurt Marissa, but the fact was that he had, whether he meant to or not. Jimmy turned again and walked down the corridor out of sight.

"Cal can I get the car keys."

Caleb raked around his pocket and handed Julie the keys.

"Are you coming?"

"I'll be out in a minute."

Julie left without uttering another word, or even glancing in Kirsten's direction. When she had also disappeared out of sight, Kirsten let out a sigh. Caleb walked over to her and kissed her head.

"And that's what you get for marrying and attorney."

Kirsten let out a small laugh.

"I have to say I've never heard him talk like that."

"Well I better not keep Julie waiting or she might just drive away without me."

"Do you think I did the right thing?"

"Marrying Sandy?" he said sarcastically.

Kirsten playfully hitting him.

"I just hope I didn't just lose two of my best friends."

"Don't worry, you'll have to do more than that to get rid of Julie."

* * *

"Now Ryan the most important question is what mood are you in? Are you in a brooding chunky mars bar kind of mood or a, how should I put it, a mellow flake kind of mood." Ryan gave Seth the look. "Well that's the flake off the menu."

Seth fed a whole lot of change in to the vending machine.

"What! You've got be kidding me!" He turned to face Ryan. "Dude the machine just ate my money!"

Ryan stuck his hand in his pocket.

"No, no. I refuse to be beaten by a plastic box."

Seth carefully placed his hands on either side of the machine then started shaking it violently.

"Seth…Seth…" Ryan looked around uncomfortably as everyone stared ate Seth. A couple moved off the seats beside the machine.

"I won't let you win, you money eating, chocolate filled box!"

Ryan continued to look embarrassed, when someone stormed past him.

"Sandy?" He followed him.

"Ah hah! Victory!" Seth scooped out his change and turned to Ryan with a grin plastered across his face. "I knew I wou….Ryan?"

"He went that way." A woman pointed along the corridor.

"Thanks. Oh and by the way I wouldn't use that machine. I think I might have broken it."

He ran along the corridor in the direction the woman had pointed him in.

Ryan caught up with Sandy.

"Hey, Sandy."

Sandy stopped and turned to face Ryan.

"What's going on? Is Marissa ok?"

"Ye, Marissa's fine – well as fine as she can be."

He sat down on a chair. Seth came running up completely out of breath.

"Wo, I should really take up water polo." Ryan looked at him. "Ok, fine, maybe I'll just start off with the jogging club." Seth looked at Sandy. "What's up?"

Sandy remained silent.

"Oh, yeah, I so know what you mean." Still no response. "Ok, I'm not liking this new Sandford Cohen as much. What's up with him?"

"I don't kn…." Ryan started to reply.

"I took on Julie Cooper."

"Well that explains the look of extreme shock on your face. I'm surprised you're still alive actually."

Ryan ignored Seth.

"Why? What happened?"

"It's all kind of blurry, but there was definitely a fight between Jimmy and Julie and then I think I might have mentioned something about their kids hating them."

"Wow, nice one Dad. Hey, why did you want to go to the vending machine?" He said to Ryan. "Look what we missed!"

"Seth this really isn't the time, I think I've really put my foot in it."

"More like your whole body."

"Make that two whole bodies."

They all turned and saw Kirsten. She sat beside Sandy and took his hand.

"I just ordered Julie to leave."

"Wow, twice in one day! Julie must be pretty pissed o…" Ryan hit Seth. "Sorry. Sentimental moment. Carry on."

"Look I'm proud of you. Slightly shocked, but proud. I'm sure Julie will realise that what you said was true." Kirsten told Sandy reassuringly.

"One can only hope." Sandy replied. He kissed Kirsten lightly on the lips.

"What do you boys think of heading home?" Kirsten said to Ryan and Seth. "I think I've had enough drama for one day, probably one lifetime."

"We should probably just let Summer know that we're heading off, and check up on Marissa." Ryan replied.

"Ok, we'll see you guys at the car."

* * *

There was a gentle knock at the door.

"Come in." Summer said.

Seth poked his head round the door.

"Hey," he whispered on seeing Marissa asleep. He walked in to the room and Ryan followed him.

"She seems to sleep a lot," Seth remarked.

"They just gave her a whole bunch of drugs, and she was pretty exhausted."

Ryan nodded. Summer looked pretty exhausted too. He had never thought of Summer and how much she must be going through. Her and Marissa had been friends forever. Seth noticed Ryan just staring at Summer.

"So, um, we came by to say that we're heading home."

"Ok. I'm going to stay with her for a bit longer."

"You sure?"

"Ye, I'll just call my Dad later to get home."

Seth walked over to Summer and held her in a hug. He could tell that she was just putting on a front. He knew how much she was hurting over seeing Marissa like this. He kissed her head, and she attempted to smile at him.

"Come on man." Seth took Ryan by his shoulder and led him to the door.

"Hey Chino." Ryan turned to Summer. "She loves you, you know."

Seth smiled to himself. Even though Summer was struggling to cope, she was still thinking of Ryan's feelings.

* * *

Ryan stumbled in to the kitchen where Sandy was reading the paper and Kirsten was making herself a cup of coffee.

"Morning," Ryan said to them, still half asleep.

"Morning. How you feeling?" Kirsten asked him.

Ryan started pouring himself a bowl of cereal.

"I'm alright."

"Look, you know we're here to talk to if you need anyone." Sandy told him. He knew that Ryan would want to talk to someone about everything sometime, but he also knew that he wasn't the best with words.

"Thanks," Ryan said as enthusiastically as he could.

"I'll drop you off at school. I need to go and visit a guy about yesterdays meeting."

"Did everything go alright?" Kirsten asked him.

"Yeah, everything's fine, we just need to talk over a few things. You know legal things. All very exciting."

"What story have you been telling this time Dad?"

"Good morning to you too, son."

Seth grabbed a bowl and sat down beside Ryan. Ryan slid the cereal over to Seth who poured some in to his bowl.

"I was just telling Ryan that I'll give you guys a lift in to school."

"Cool. Oh, I got a message from Summer saying that she'll see us out front."

"Was she still there when you went up last night?" Kirsten asked them.

"Ye, she said she was going to stay for a bit longer." Seth replied. "I think this whole thing has hit her pretty hard, but she just doesn't want anyone to realise."

Ryan put his empty bowl in the sink and headed back out to the pool house.

"We'll be leaving in 10 minutes," Sandy shouted to him.

"Ok," he shouted back.

"He's been acting really weird. Last night he hardly said a word." Seth said.

"Well it's going to be difficult for him, for all of us. I think he's just realising how close he came to losing Marissa." Kirsten replied.

"I'm guessing Julie or Jimmy will be going in to see her." Sandy said.

"Oh, I'm sure that'll be fun," Seth said sarcastically.

"Ye, I guess so. I might go along later to check how she is."

"How long does she have to stay in for?" Seth asked.

"The doctor said for a few days. They want to keep her under observation." Kirsten said.

"Then she'll have to face the cops again."

They all looked at each other. None of them were looking forward to that. It hadn't exactly gone well the last time.

* * *

When they pulled up to the school Seth saw Summer. "I'll pick you guys up later.

"Thanks, and I'm sorry that I've been acting kind of strange but it's just kind of hitting me how real it all is. And thanks for being there for me." Ryan said.

"Don't worry about it, you have nothing to be sorry about. Just take as long as you need. We could go by the hospital later if you want."

"Yeah, that'd be good." Seth and Ryan climbed out the car.

"I'll see you guys later."

"Bye." Seth waved to his Dad as he pulled out of the parking lot.

* * *

She heard voices then a light shone in her eyes.

"Morning."

She mumbled something as the room came in to focus. For a second she couldn't think where she was then it all came flooding back. The voice. The gun. Blacking out. Ryan. Her parents.

The nurse smiled at her.

"I've brought you some breakfast."

Marissa smiled at the nurse as she placed a tray on a table beside the bed. The nurse noted some things on the clipboard at the end of the bed. She noticed Marissa just staring at the food.

"I'd definitely go for the cereal over the toast."

Marissa came out of her trance and looked over at the nurse.

"The toast tastes more like cardboard. Or at least what I think cardboard would taste like, I'm not really an expert in that area."

Marissa smiled at her.

"I'm not really hungry."

"You'll have to eat something. It's not good to have all these drugs on an empty stomach."

Marissa looked back at the food. She really couldn't bring herself to eat it.

"Look, how about I fetch you something nice out of the café."

"Oh, no. I can't ask you to do that."

"You didn't." She opened the curtains. "I'll be back in a minute."

Marissa smiled at her. "Thanks."

She closed her eyes for a few minutes. She heard the door open and rolled over to thank the nurse.

"Hey honey."

Her mum was the last person she wanted to see. She rolled back over. Julie's heart sunk. She couldn't believe how stupid she had been. Sandy was right. She was just driving her family away. She sat on the chair beside the bed. She placed her hand on Marissa's shoulder who just flinched and moved away. Julie felt tears forming in her eyes. She couldn't believe that she had been so selfish.

"Look I know I'm probably the last person you want to see right now"

"Yup," Marissa mumbled.

"Your father was in the wrong too you know."

"If this is your apology then you might as well just leave 'cause I don't want to hear it." Marissa said her back still to Julie.

"Look Marissa I'm sorry. I was just so scared that I lashed out at the people around me. I don't know if you'll ever be able to forgive me, but I just want you to know that I love you." Marissa rolled over to face her mum. She saw the tears forming in her eyes. She wasn't ready to forgive her but she realised that her mum was being honest with her for once. She let her mum take her hand. Julie couldn't help but let a tear slip from her eye.

"I don't know what to say. I just want a second chance. I'll do anything to make it right."

"I know you didn't mean to hurt me but you did." These words cut in to Julie. Hearing Marissa say them shone a new light on everything. She didn't want to lose her. Marissa looked in to her mum's eyes. "Just promise me that you will talk to dad."

Usually talking to Jimmy was something she avoided but she meant it when she said that she would do anything. She nodded and wiped a tear off her face. She pulled Marissa in to a hug. Marissa felt uncomfortable but after a few seconds she rested her head on her mum's shoulder and hugged her back. She knew things with her mum weren't perfect, but for now anything seemed perfect.

* * *

Summer spotted Seth and Ryan getting out of the car and walked over to them.

"Hey."

"Hey." They both replied.

"Did you get home ok last night?" Seth asked her.

"Ye, I didn't stay for long though." Seth put his arm round Summer's shoulder and they all headed in to the school.

"I hardly slept last night," Summer remarked.

"Same," Seth agreed.

"I just couldn't stop thinking about her."

Seth squeezed her shoulder and kissed her head.

"She's going to be ok though, I'm telling you before you know it the fantastic four will be fantastic again."

"Uh, I gotta get a book from my locker. I'll see you in French."

Ryan suddenly hurried off.

"Hey…."

"You might wanna rethink the fantastic four idea."

They both watched Ryan disappear inside.

"Do you think we should be worried about him?" Summer knew it was difficult for him but if they could just get him to talk.

"He'll come around sometime. He just needs his space."

* * *

Ryan and Seth were sitting in French. Ryan had hardly said a word in English never mind French.

"So, the conditional tense. Could someone tell me how it's formed?" Miss Fraser looked out over the sea of blank faces. "Ok then. Ryan how about you give it a shot."

Ryan was looking at his desk fiddling with his pen. Seth looked at Ryan and nudged him.

"Ryan…"

Ryan slowly looked up. He had clearly been paying no attention.

"Whatever is on your mind I'm sure it's not as important as my class right now."

Ryan sprung up from his seat.

"You have no idea what's on my mind!" He shouted at her angrily. Murmurs erupted around the classroom. Miss Fraser looked in complete shock. Seth tugged Ryan's shirt to get him to sit back down. Ryan ignored Seth and grabbed his stuff and stormed out of the classroom.

"Mr Atwood! Get back in here now!" She ran out of the classroom after him. Seth drummed his fingers on the table and smiled awkwardly at everyone, who were all staring at him weirdly.

"Guess he's not a fan of the conditional tense then."


	11. Lost in a Dream

Chapter 11: Lost in a Dream

Kirsten was coming in the front door with shopping when the phone rang. She hurriedly put down all the bags and answered the phone, rather flustered.

"Hello."

"Could I speak to Mr or Mrs Cohen."

"This is Kirsten Cohen. Who's speaking?"

"It's Dr Kim from the Harbor school."

"Oh, how can I help you?"

"I've got Ryan here."

She sat down.

"I was wondering if you could come over. I would like to have a chat."

"Oh, uh sure."

"Thanks."

Before Kirsten got a chance to ask what was going on the dialling tone appeared. She put the phone down feeling slightly confused. She didn't want to think about what Ryan had done. She grabbed her bag and keys and headed back out to the car.

* * *

"I'm here to see Dr Kim," Kirsten said to the receptionist at the school.

"Kirsten Cohen?"

"Ye."

"You can go straight in."

"Thanks."

She knocked on the big wooden door. She heard a voice from inside.

"Come in." The door creaked as she pushed it open.

"Kirsten, thanks for coming." Dr Kim shook her hand.

"Not a problem." Dr Kim motioned for her to sit on a chair at a large desk beside Ryan and she sat oposite them both. He looked at Kirsten then looked down again. She couldn't read his expression. It just seemed blank.

"What's going on?"

"Ryan was caught trying to leave school." Kirsten looked at Ryan who still didn't look up. "It appears that Mr Atwood also believes it to be acceptable to raise his voice to teachers then leave their class."

"Ryan? Is this true?" Ryan had been doing so well at school. She knew he had some anger issues in the past but she thought he had moved on. Ryan looked at her but didn't say anything.

"I have spoken to his teacher, Miss Fraser. She says that he shouted at her when he wasn't concentrating and she told him that what he was thinking about wasn't important."

"She doesn't know."

They both looked over at Ryan.

"Know what?" Dr Kim asked him.

It was becoming clear to Kirsten what had happened. She had forgotten that the school wouldn't have been notified about what happened to Marissa.

"Dr Kim I think I can explain what has happened here."

She looked at her.

"Have you been informed about an incident involving Marissa Copper over the weekend?"

"I haven't heard anything."

"On Saturday night she was taken to hospital by ambulance after some guys attacked her and stole her bag."

"I see." She wasn't sure how to react. It wasn't everyday that one of the pupils ended up in hospital after being mugged.

"And I know that it was wrong of Ryan to raise his voice to his teacher but he has been through so much in the past couple of days."

"I'm very sorry about what has happened to Marissa and I appreciate it must be very difficult for you after all that you two have been through together," she said to Ryan. "I will explain the situation to Miss Fraser but I want you to apologise afterwards and I will be seeing you in detention for the next few weeks."

Ryan nodded and stood up as did Dr Kim and Kirsten. Kirsten shook her hand.

"Thank you and I'm sorry about this."

"I don't want to be seeing you back here anytime soon." She said to Ryan. "You can head back to your next class but I would like to see you after school so that you can apologise."

Ryan nodded and walked out.

"Thanks for coming along."

"It's no problem."

"How is Marissa?"

"She's doing better but she was beaten up pretty badly."

"Well I hope she makes a full recovery and that we'll be seeing her back here as soon as possible. I'll notify her teachers."

"Thank-you for being so understanding."

"Just make sure that Ryan realises that these are extraordinary circumstances and if he ever pulls a stunt like this again I may not be so understanding."

Kirsten met Ryan outside.

"I'm sorry."

"Like Dr Kim said what you did was wrong, but I know your reasons."

Ryan looked down at his feet. Kirsten touched his shoulder and he looked at her.

"Remember we are here for you."

"I just feel so useless."

"What do you mean?"

"Marissa is lying in hospital and right now a machine and tubes can help her more than I can."

"That's not true. The tubes can't tell her that they love her, the machine can't hold her close when she needs it."

"I've just lost so many people in my life in the past."

"So much has changed in your life. You're not going to lose Marissa. I promise."

She squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. He smiled at her. He didn't know what he would do without her. He didn't want to think about what his life would be like if the Cohen's hadn't taken him in.

"Come here." Kirsten hugged him tightly. She couldn't imagine her life without him.

* * *

He tapped gently on the all too familiar door.

"Come in," a voice answered quietly.

"Hey."

"Hey," Marissa smiled at him.

"I brought you something." Ryan produced a huge bouquet of flowers from behind his back. He watched as her face lit up. He handed them to her and leant in and gently kissed her on the lips.

"I missed you," Marissa whispered.

He kissed her again.

"I have to say these are an improvement on the last ones."

"That wouldn't be difficult," he replied remembering the pathetic vase of flowers he bought her when she was in hospital after Tijuana.

"It's the thought that counts."

"Here, let me put them in some water." She handed them to him and he went in to the bathroom to fill up the vase that he bought to put them in. He placed them on the bedside table.

"Perfect." Marissa smiled as he sat on the bed beside her. He saw her wince as she moved a bit to let him on.

"You alright?"

"Ye it just kinda hurts to move in certain ways."

"Maybe I should just sit on the chair."

"No, no. It's fine now."

She snuggled up to him. He kissed the top of her head and ran his fingers through her hair. He could sit like that forever.

"Have I told you how sexy you look in that hospital gown." She sat up and hit him playfully. "What!" She lay her head on his shoulder. "Do you have anything on underneath?" She sat up again.

"Ryan!" He grinned at her. She couldn't help herself. She leant towards him and kissed him passionately. He forgot how whenever he kissed her nothing else seemed to matter. They eventually separated.

"I'll take that as a no then."

"You really know how to spoil a moment."

"Well I have spoilt a few in the past. A particular one springs to mind."

"Let's see if you have improved at all. I love you."

"I love you."

She smiled. She was glad that he had moved past the "thank you" stage.

"I love you, I love you, I love y…."

Marissa put her finger on his lips.

"I love you," he tried to say but it just turned into indistinguishable noises. She laughed at him but then he gently bit her finger.

"Ow," she pulled her finger away. "What was that for?"

"Oh, haven't you heard? It's a new sign of affection," Ryan replied sarcastically.

"I think I'll stick to the old ones."

He knew what was coming and smiled as her lips met his. She lay her head on his should again. He moved hair off her face careful not to touch any stitches or bruises. He had been punched before and knew how much that hurt. He couldn't imagine how much more it must hurt with a gun barrel.

"So what do you want to do?"

"Well I definitely don't want to play chess. Actually there is one thing I want to do."

"What's that?"

"I really want to go outside. I can't stand being stuck in here looking out the window at the blue sky and sunshine."

"The hospital has a really nice secluded garden. How about I go and check if I'm allowed to take you out."

"Ok." He kissed the top of her head and leapt off the bed.

A couple of minutes later Ryan returned pushing a wheelchair.

"The nurse said I can take you out for half an hour. She just wants to check a few things first."

The nurse walked in.

"How you feeling?"

"Pretty good. Apart from aching all over that is."

"We'll have you out here in no time." She noted some things on the clipboard again. "Right you're fine to go. Just let me unclip this." She took off the clip on Marissa's finger which connected her to the machine. "I'll leave you to it." She smiled at Ryan and left the room.

Ryan moved the covers off Marissa's bed so that she could stand up.

"Oh, I have a plan."

"What?" Ryan slid his arms under Marissa.

"Just tell me if this hurts."

"Ok, no. I think I can manage to walk three steps to the wheelchair."

"Ye, but that's not as fun." Before she could protest he gently lifted her up from the bed.

"Does it hurt?"

"No I'm fine."

"Good." He spun around in a big circle and watched as she smiled with delight. He walked over to the wheelchair and placed her in it.

"Well that was pointless."

"It was a little bit fun though you've got to admit."

"Hmm, I suppose so."

"Is that it?"

"Come on get a move on. We won't make it to the corridor at this rate never mind outside."

He pushed her out into the corridor.

"If that's how you feel." He checked the corridor was clear then started pushing her faster and faster. She laughed out of joy. Ryan couldn't help but laugh with her.

* * *

Kirsten heard the front door open and Seth and Summer walked in.

"Hey guys."

"Hey," they both replied.

"Where's Ryan.?"

"He went to see Dr Kim then he's going to visit Marissa. He said he'll call later when he needs picked up."

"So you know about the whole incident then?" Kirsten asked them.

"Ye. I was in French with him. It was certainly an interesting start to the day." Seth replied.

"Do you guys want anything to drink or eat? I bought that strawberry flavoured milk that you like so much."

"Awww. You drink strawberry milk? That's so cute."

"Psh, no. She must be getting me mixed up with Ryan. You'd never think it by looking at him but secretly he can't live without his strawberry milk. I on the other hand like to stick with the whisky – very manly drink." Kirsten smirked at him.

"Sure, whatever you say," Summer said patting his back.

"How about we go and play a very manly playstation game."

"Lead the way," Summer said unenthusiastically.

"You can bring me that pint of whisky when you're ready," he shouted back to Kirsten.

"Uh-huh, keep dreaming."

* * *

Marissa sighed deeply as she felt the fresh air hit her face. Ryan pushed her down a path that wound between trees and shrubs. They reached a secluded spot with a bench and a perfect view over the ocean. Ryan stopped the wheelchair beside the bench and sat down. Marissa got up and sat beside him. She linked her arm through his and clasped his fingers in hers. She rested her head on his shoulder and moved close to him like she did up in the room. It was late afternoon and the sun was beginning to set. The water glistened and the air was completely still.

"This is perfect." Marissa broke the silence. "Or at least it would be if it wasn't the garden of a hospital." After this neither of them said a word for the next twenty minutes. They just held each other close and watched the sun start to disappear into the water. It almost felt like a dream.

Ryan was in awe over all the shades of pink and orange covering the sky. But he was brought back to reality when he felt Marissa shiver beside him.

"You alright?"

"Ye, I'm just kind of cold." Right on cue she shivered again. She sat up and Ryan looked at her. She looked tired and pale. She let out a cough and Ryan immediately comforted her.

"I think we should go back inside." He helped Marissa back into the wheelchair.

She was still shivering when they reached the room. Ryan helped her to get under the covers.

"I think I've gotten too used to the warmth of this room."

"I'll go and let the nurse know that we're back in."

Marissa leant her head back on the pillow and couldn't help but close her eyes.

When Ryan arrived back with the nurse Marissa was asleep.

"She's gotten too used to being in bed all day," the nurse smiled at her.

Ryan sat on the chair beside her as her eyelids fluttered open. The nurse went over and closed the curtains.

"How are you feeling?"

"My head is killing me."

"Take some of these." The nurse handed Marissa a couple of painkillers and a glass of water.

"Thanks."

"I'll leave you two alone."

Ryan took hold of Marissa's hand and rubbed it between his to heat it up.

"You should just head home. I'm probably just going to end up falling asleep."

"I could sit with you all night."

"I don't think Sandy and Kirsten would be too pleased with that."

"I'll come by after school again tomorrow."

"You better." She smiled at him. He leant forward and kissed her. She didn't want to let go of him.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He stood up and kissed the top of her head. Before he had even left the room her eyes had closed and she was lost to the perfect world of dreams.


	12. Flicker of Light

Chapter 12: Flicker of Light

She zipped up the bag and placed it on the bed. She looked around the room which she had been stuck in for a week. Just as Ryan said he came everyday after school. She also had visits from Seth and Summer, Sandy and Kirsten, her dad, her mum and even Caleb.

Ryan slipped his head round the door and noticed Marissa just standing there with her back to the door. He sneaked up behind her and kissed her neck. She almost let out a scream and her whole body jumped. She turned around and hit Ryan playfully.

"You are so not funny! I almost had a heart attack!"

"Well it's lucky we're in a hospital then."

She smiled at him and placed her hands around the back of his neck as he placed his around her waist, their foreheads almost touching.

"Can you forgive me?"

"Hmmm, let me think about it."

A few seconds later she moved her head and kissed him deeply.

"Is that a yes then?" he asked her, a smile creeping on to his face. She smiled back and kissed him again.

* * *

Seth and Summer walked along the corridor to Marissa's room. They walked in but suddenly stopped. Marissa and Ryan were holding each other close. She had her head resting on his shoulder, her eyes closed. Neither of them had noticed Seth and Summer come in. Seth looked at Summer and pretended to be wiping a tear off his face. Summer indicated to Seth that they should leave and he nodded in agreement. They started to tiptoe out. Suddenly there was a huge crash. Marissa and Ryan let go of each other and stared at Seth and Summer who had frozen in their positions of escape. On the floor beside Seth was a tall uplighter lamp. Summer unfroze and hit Seth on the arm.

"God Cohen! I thought you were all stealth!"

"I swear that lamp wasn't there before." Summer hit him again in the same place.

"Ah, ow." Seth rubbed his arm.

Ryan cleared his throat. Seth and Summer both suddenly remembered that Ryan and Marissa were there. They turned to see the very amused expressions on their faces. Seth waved at them sheepishly.

"Hey."

"How long had you been standing there?" Marissa asked them.

"What before dufus head here caused an earthquake!"

"Dufus head? Who says that!" Seth directed at Summer.

"Ok fine. How about ass!"

"Dufus ass. Hmmm, that just doesn't have a ring to it."

Ryan quickly walked over and placed himself between them when he saw Summer clench her fists.

"Ok, well that was fun," he took Seth by the shoulder and lead him to the bed. "How about you take Marissa's bag to the car." He handed Seth the bag.

"Hey, how come I have to take the bag? Why can't Summer take it?" He looked over at Summer who glared at him. "On second thought I'll take it." He quickly walked out the door, followed by Summer. Ryan linked his arm in Marissa's and looked at her.

"You ready."

"Trust me, I've never been more ready."

He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek then lead her out the door. Marissa let the door shut behind her, never looking back.

* * *

The four of them were in the car, Ryan driving. Marissa was sitting in the front with her window all the way down. She let the fresh breeze blow through her hair. Ryan glanced sideways at Marissa. He forgot how great it was to see her happy.

"Your dad's at the Cohen's talking to Sandy about some legal things to do with his house."

"Cool. You know what? I haven't visited the pool house in a while."

"Well I'm sure I could let you have a peek. And then maybe…"

Seth cut in not wanting to hear the details of what they get up to in the pool house.

"You know the sky is looking very blue today."

Marissa turned her head and looked at him weirdly.

"It's blue everyday."

"Yes, but it is particularly blue today. I'd say aqua with a hint of royal."

"You know what else will be blue?" Summer said to him.

"The sea?" Seth answered innocently.

"Your eye when I punch it if you don't shut up!"

Seth moved right up against the door. Summer noticed her fist.

"Oh, sorry." She blushed slightly. "You know the whole rage…"

"blackout," Seth finished her sentence. "Yeah. Oh look we're home," he said happy to get away from Summer's fist.

* * *

Kirsten, Sandy and Jimmy were all sitting in the living room chatting when the front door opened. They all stood up as Ryan, Summer, Marissa and Seth all came in.

"Hey guys," Sandy said to them all.

"Hey," Ryan replied.

"Hey kiddo," Jimmy said to Marissa as he walked over. "How you feeling?"

"Well you know, shoulders a bit sore from carrying the bag," Seth replied as he bent down to put the bag on the floor. " And the back has seen better…." He stood up and noticed everyone staring at him. He realised that Jimmy wasn't talking to him. "Oh, uh, sorry, ye, I didn't realise, you know, I'm just gonna… I'm just gonna, umm, head over here…" he walked away from everyone.

"Excuse me," Summer said to everyone as she followed Seth.

Jimmy hugged Marissa.

"It's great to have you back kiddo. I still have a few things to clear up so…

"Ye, we should go find Summer and Seth," Ryan said to Marissa.

"I just hope Summer hasn't punched him," she replied.

"Well you know where we are if you need us," Kirsten said.

"Thanks. You know, for everything."

"You don't have to thank us sweetie. We are more than happy to help."

Marissa smiled at Kirsten and headed upstairs with Ryan to find Summer and Seth. Kirsten noticed Jimmy watching Marissa. His eyes were full of happiness but there was a shadow of sadness.

"You okay?

"Ye, ye. I just don't think I'm going to be able to stop worrying about her, about where she is, who she's with, you know?"

"Don't worry, Jimbo, things will get back to normal soon," Sandy said cheerfully.

"What's normal?"

Sandy hadn't thought about that. Normal and Newport just didn't fit together.

* * *

Seth, Summer, Ryan and Marissa were hanging out in Seth's room. They were skirting around the topic of what had happened in the past week. Seth did however let Marissa sit with Captain Oates which in his eyes was a "huge privilege".

"I'm just going to the bathroom," Marissa said, standing up slowly. She noticed the worried look on Ryan's face. "Don't worry I'm fine. It's just along the hallway."

"Oh, ye, ye, I know. I wasn't worried. I mean of course you'll be fine…" he said awkwardly. Marissa smiled and left for the bathroom.

"Hey, Ryan, that was smooth. I think I'm rubbing off on you."

* * *

Marissa came out of the bathroom. She had avoided looking in the mirror. She didn't want to see the stitches and the bruises. As far as she was concerned, if she couldn't see them they didn't exist.

"See I told you I'd be…" the room was empty. "fine." She frowned and left the room again.

"Guys?"

Silence.

She walked to the stairs.

"Seth?" She started going down the stairs. "Summer? Ryan?" She reached the bottom but the place was still deserted.

"Dad? Heellooo? Anybody?"

She wandered outside and stopped suddenly in her tracks. She felt tears stinging her eyes. The outdoor table was covered in food and everyone was gathered around it, the candles glowing in the faded light.

"Is she alright?" Seth whispered to Summer.

Ryan was the first to react. He walked over to her, followed by Jimmy. They both held their arms out and she linked hers through them. They guided her to the table where Kirsten pulled out a chair for her.

"You did all this for me?" she said, her voice choking up. Jimmy took her hand and crouched down beside her chair.

"Ever since the day you were born you have been the most important thing in my life. There have been times when I thought I was going to lose you. Last week was one of those. I guess I just want to make sure that you realise how important you are to me." Marissa looked in to his eyes and nodded her head as a tear rolled down her cheek. Jimmy gently wiped it away with his thumb. He kissed her hand and gently squeezed it. He smiled at her then stood up.

"Who's ready to eat?"

Everybody had just been standing watching and listening to Jimmy, realising just how much she means to him.

"Oh, ye, sure."

"Oh, I'm starving."

"Uh huh, you know, famished."

"Great, fantastic, yes."

"Mmm, ye, good plan."

They all said at the same time. They all took a seat and tucked in to the assortment of pasta and salad dishes.

"Ok, seriously Summer. Stop rubbing my leg with your foot." Seth said to Summer who was sitting across the table from him.

"I'm not."

"Sure."

"I'm being serious. My legs can't reach that far."

"Good point." Seth felt a shooting pain in his shin. "I thought they couldn't reach that far!"

"Well it appears that they can!"

"So, Summer, how's your father been recently?" Kirsten broke in. "I haven't spoken to him in a while."

"Oh, you know, pretty busy."

Kirsten smiled and nodded. She knew that Neil regretted not being able to spend more time with Summer.

After this everyone split in to their own smaller conversations and the rest of the meal was uneventful.

* * *

"Right, Ryan, Seth. You're helping me clear the table." Kirsten told them

"What!" Seth replied. "How come Summer and Marissa don't have to help!"

"Because they're our guests."

Seth was about to protest again but Kirsten pointed her finger at him.

"Not another word."

Seth shut his mouth and reluctantly picked up his plate.

"Umm, Marissa could I talk to you?" Sandy asked her.

"Oh, uh, sure." She stood up and followed him over to the pool house. Sandy shut the door behind her. As he turned to face her she noticed the serious expression on his face.

"This morning I got a call from Inspector Trueman."

She sat down on the bed.

"He wants you to go in as soon as possible and give a complete statement."

Marissa remained silent. Since the last time she had been going through everything in her head, over and over. She felt Sandy sit beside her on the bed.

"I'd obviously be there as your lawyer." Marissa still didn't say anything. She just stared at the ground. "Don't worry. Take your time to think about it."

"I want to do it. I just…I just don't know if I can." She looked at Sandy. He noticed that her eyes were glistening with tears. "I mean after what happened the last time…" a tear escaped her eye. "I don't know if I can live through it again…"

"I'd love to say 'don't worry, I know what you're going through' but the fact is that no-one knows what you're going through. But just because they don't know what you're going through doesn't mean that they can't help. You don't have to go through this alone, Marissa. We're all here for you."

She nodded, and swallowed to hold the tears back.

"I mean take Snow White, for example. Where would she be without the seven dwarves?"

She smiled and let out a small laugh. He handed her a tissue.

"Here."

"Thanks." She wiped the tears off her face and sniffed. Sandy put his hand on her shoulder.

"You alright?"

"Ye," she smiled at him.

"Well I better go and help clear up. Seth's probably being as useless as possible just to make a point."

Marissa watched Sandy leave. He was right that no-one knew what she was going through but he was also right that she wasn't alone. For the first time she could see a flicker of light at the end of the tunnel.

* * *

I know not much happened in that chapter but there's more drama in the chapters ahead. 


	13. Deep Inside

Sorry for taking so long to update. I'd just like to thank everyone who has reviewed all the previous chapters but especially ryanNmarissa4eva who has reviewed from the beginning. Hope you enjoy and please review!

Chapter 13: Deep Inside

Jimmy turned off the TV and stood up as Marissa walked in.

"Hey kiddo."

"Hey," Marissa answered still half asleep

"How you feeling?"

"As good as I probably look right now," she groaned.

"That bad?" Jimmy said sarcastically.

"Hey!"

She picked up a cushion from the couch and threw it at Jimmy. She walked to the kitchen and took out a box of cereal.

"Wait, you sit down," Jimmy said jumping up from the couch. "I'll get that for you."

"I'm fine Dad."

"I'll get you whatever you want." He squeezed in to the kitchen area. "a bowl, a spoon…"

"Dad…"

"Some milk, glass," he searched around the cupboard and brought out a glass and went to put it beside the bowl.

"Dad…"

"Oh, orange juice." Jimmy took a step and knocked the cereal box out of Marissa's hands, covering the floor in cocoa puffs.

"Oh…" Jimmy groaned.

"Dad listen to me." Marissa pulled on Jimmy's shoulder to get him to face her. "I'm fine. I spent a whole week in hospital with people running after me; I just want life to get back to normal."

"You're right, I'm sorry. I just feel so helpless."

"You don't need to get me my breakfast to be helpful. Just having you here helps."

"How about I make up a picnic lunch and we can drive to a secluded beach, just you and me."

"That sounds perfect." Marissa kissed Jimmy's cheek and went over to the couch to switch the TV back on.

"Well, I'm just gonna' go out and stock up on some food. The last time I checked, all that we had was takeout menus. And well there was cereal but we both know what happened there. I'll be back in a bit. And don't clean up the cereal I'll do it when I get back. And remember I have my cell if anything…."

"Dad," Marissa said warningly.

"Right, sorry," he grabbed his wallet and left.

It wasn't that she didn't appreciate that he was trying to help. It was just….just…. she didn't know what it was all she knew was that she wanted to be treated normally again. She quickly picked up the TV remote to try and clear her mind. She flicked it on. It was one of those crime dramas and they were in a police station interviewing a guy. Definitely not what she wanted to watch. She flicked it again.

"_And the winner of today's competition is Phil Trueman_."

Trueman.

She quickly flicked again. As soon as she saw a scene of a hospital she immediately turned it off. She watched as the screen went blank. She felt like she was going crazy. All she wanted to do was forget what happened but all that seemed to be happening was that she was being reminded of it. She sat staring at the screen. All she could hear was the silence. She couldn't take it anymore.

She walked in to her room and sat down on her bed. She picked up a photo of her and Ryan. If only life was as simple as it looked in photos. Everyone always seemed so happy. No matter what was going on in someone's life a picture always caught something deep inside everyone. Happiness. At least it was very deep inside her. She picked up another picture. It was of her, Sandy and Kirsten at Chrismukkah. Suddenly she knew what she had to do. She threw on the first pair of jeans and top that she could find. She ran out the house, grabbing the car keys on the way out. Maybe there was a way to be just like the pictures.

* * *

The doorbell rang just as Kirsten reached the bottom of the stairs. She opened the door.

"Marissa."

"Hey."

"Come in."

"Thanks."

"I think Ryan's in the pool house."

"Actually I came to see Sandy."

"Oh, he's out surfing just now."

"Was is the word actually."

They both turned to see Sandy walking in through the door wearing his shorts and t-shirt.

"Marissa came by to talk to you."

Sandy smiled at Marissa.

"And how can I help you?"

"Umm, it's about what you said last night."

"Oh, I see." He ushered her through to the kitchen.

Sandy took a glass out the cupboard.

"You want a drink?"

"Oh, no thanks."

She watched Sandy pour himself some orange juice.

"I've made a decision."

He stopped pouring and looked up at her.

"I want to go in to the station. I have to go in." Sandy was about to speak but Marissa carried on. "I keep telling myself that I will be able to just forget about it all. But that's not going to happen and I think the only way I can start to move on is if I get it all out my system."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

Sandy nodded.

"I'll go and make some calls. Just make yourself at home. I won't be long."

* * *

Marissa knocked on the pool house door. She waited a second before going in. She closed the door behind her and turned around to see Ryan walk through from the shower rubbing his wet hair with a towel. He got a surprise when he saw her standing there.

"Oh, hey."

"Hey."

He walked over and kissed her.

"What you doing here?"

"It's nice to see you too," she said sarcastically.

"I didn't mean it like that."

"What did you mean it like then?"

"Ummm, uhh, well…I just meant…"

She grinned at him then pushed him on to the bed. When he landed he threw his wet towel at her, but she managed to move out of the way. She suddenly grabbed one of his pillows and started to hit him with it. She laughed as he tried to grab it out of her hands. He eventually got it off her and she lay down on the bed beside him. She rolled over to face him, and gazed in to his eyes a second before speaking.

"I didn't actually come to see you today."

"I knew it," he said with a smile. He stopped smiling when he noticed that she wasn't smiling back. He stroked her cheek with his finger.

"What's up?"

"I came by to see Sandy."

"About what he said to you last night?"

"He told you?"

"No but I can guess what it was about."

"They want me to give a complete statement."

He took her hand.

"I came by to tell Sandy that I want to do it now."

Ryan was slightly surprised that she had decided so quickly.

"I spent the whole week in hospital going over everything that happened in my head. I can't keep it there anymore. I just need to do it, I need my life to go back to normal, I just…I just…"

"Hey, hey. It's alright." He could tell that she just wanted to bury her head in him and cry her heart out. "I'm here for you. To help in any ay I can. You're not alone."

She gave him a small smile, casting her mind back to what Sandy said the night before. Ryan leaned in and kissed her passionately. They kept kissing until there was a knock on the door and Sandy appeared.

"Oh, sorry."

They both sat up.

"Marissa could I have a word."

She looked at Ryan who kissed her cheek. She followed Sandy out glancing back at Ryan who gave her a reassuring smile.

* * *

"I spoke to Inspector Trueman. He says we can go by today. That is if you're still up to it."

The last thing he wanted was for her to go before she was ready. She took a deep breath.

"I'm ready."

Kirsten came out holding the phone.

"It's your dad. Asking if you are here." She looked at Marissa who blushed slightly. She knew she should have left a note but she ran out so quickly it didn't even cross her mind. She took the phone off Kirsten.

"Hey."

"Why did you leave! I was going out of my mind!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you."

"I know, I know." He felt bad for shouting at her. "I'm not angry, I was just so worried."

"I'm sorry. I just needed to see Sandy."

"Sandy? What for?"

"I'm going to the police station."

Silence.

"Dad?"

"Stay there kiddo, I'm coming over."

"No, it's fine. You don't have to."

"I wanna' be there when you're done. Ok?"

"Ok."

"I'll be over soon."

The line went blank.

"Is everything alright?" Kirsten asked her, concerned.

"Oh." Marissa had forgotten that Sandy and Kirsten were there. "My dad's coming over. He wants to go to the station with us."

"Do you think you should tell your mum?" Kirsten asked her.

Marissa hadn't even thought about her mum. She knew she should tell her but she also knew that she would completely over react over the whole situation. She couldn't deal with that right now.

"I'll tell you what, how about I phone your mum when you're gone and tell her to come over here and you can speak to her when you get back."

"Ye, thanks."

"What's going on out here?"

Seth walked over to them.

"Nothing."

"Nothing."

"Nothing?" he said unconvinced.

"Hey, Seth, I know how much you love to help me make fruit smoothies."

"I'm guessing that's code for leave now."

Kirsten smiled and patted his shoulder and turned him back to the house.

"Your dad really cares about you." Sandy said to Marissa once Kirsten and Seth had left.

She looked at him

"Ye I know."

"You go back to Ryan. I'll give you a shout when your dad gets here."

"Ok, thanks."

* * *

Marissa went to push open the door of the pool house when it opened.

"Wo," Marissa tripped and stumbled through the door.

"Good timing," Ryan grinned at her. Marissa threw him a glare.

"What did your dad want?"

"Well I kind of didn't tell him that I was coming over here."

Ryan's expression turned serious

"You know it's different now. You can't just disappear without telling someone. Not after what happened."

"I know, I know. I just wish it wasn't different," her tone saddened.

"You can't change what happened but you can change what will."

Ryan stepped past Marissa out of the pool house. He turned back and held his hand out. Marissa looked at him. He was right. She couldn't let what happened ruin her life. She smiled and took hold of his hand.

* * *

"Now Seth don't forget…"

Seth pressed the button on the blender and strawberry and banana smoothie sprayed up all over him.

"….the lid."

Seth stuck his tongue out and licked a bit off his cheek.

"Mmmm, I'd say a tad more banana is needed."

Kirsten shook her head at him in disbelief, trying to remember the time she must have dropped him on his head as a baby.

"Hey I think you missed a spot."

Seth glared at Ryan who had just walked in with Marissa.

"Actually, Ryan, for your information I was planning on leaving it there. Very convenient if I ever want a quick snack."

"Seth! Don't be so revolting!" Kirsten said throwing him a towel.

"Mother, I don't think you have quite grabbed the concept of the leaving it there part of my genius plan."

"Clean it off now."

Before Seth could complain anymore the doorbell rang.

"That's probably Jimmy." Kirsten left to answer the door.

"Seriously man, you missed a spot," Ryan said as Seth finished wiping himself with the towel.

"Where?"

"Right there," Ryan replied as he hit Seth across the head. Kirsten cleared her throat and Seth and Ryan stopped mucking around.

"Hey kiddo," Jimmy pulled Marissa into a hug.

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright. I'm just glad you're ok."

Sandy walked in.

"Hey Jimmy."

"Sandy."

"We should probably go."

"We can go in my car," Jimmy said.

"Great." Sandy kissed Kirsten on the cheek. "I'll see you later."

"Bye."

Sandy and Jimmy headed to the front door. Jimmy turned around when he realised that Marissa wasn't following.

"Kiddo? You coming?"

"Oh, um, ye."

Ryan put his arm around her shoulder.

"Hey, you'll be fine." He kissed her cheek and took a step back. She took a deep breath and joined her dad. He put his arm around her shoulder and they walked out the door together. Sandy followed and shut the door behind him.

"You ok?" Kirsten asked Ryan, who was staring at the closed door.

"Ye, ye. I mean she'll be fine. There's nothing to worry about. Right?"

After what happened the last time Kirsten wasn't sure if there was nothing to worry about. She had seen the look of pain and fear in Marissa's eyes. She just hoped that Sandy wouldn't have to see it too.

"Right?"

"Right." Kirsten forced a smile. She couldn't tell him how worried she was. He would probably go after her to the station. If anything ever happened to Marissa Ryan was always there to save her. Except for one time.

* * *

Not much happened in this chapter either but I promise that the next couple will be more interesting. 


	14. Scared

Chapter 14: Scared

Marissa stared at the blank wall as the questions echoed around her head.

"What build?" 

"Colour of hair?"

"Any particular smells?"

"How long before you got there?"

"Marissa?"

"Miss Cooper?"

"Marissa?"

"Are you alright?"

All the voices seemed so distant, far enough away that she could pretend they weren't there. Suddenly the single weak light bulb hanging from the ceiling seemed to be giving of rays as strong of the sun. The light bounced off the white washed walls blinding her. She screwed her eyes shut and willed it to go away – for everything to go away. She felt a hand on her shoulder and her eyes shot open. The sounds all around her hit her ears as she was brought back to reality.

"Marissa?"

She turned to see a worried looking Sandy.

He prayed that it wasn't going to turn out like last time.

"Oh, um, sorry…I…I just have a headache." She said the first excuse that came to her mind. Though it wasn't an excuse. She did constantly have a head ache and not just because she had been bashed on the head. It was the memories of what happened that thumped around her head, keeping her up all night and – something she hadn't told anyone – scared all day.

"We can get you an aspirin." Inspector Trueman replied. He nodded to the officer standing at the door who then left the room.

"So could you say which one too your bag?

Marissa took a deep breath. She had to get through to the end.

"Umm, I don't know. I just saw a hand, and I was in pain…"

"So after they drove away you went straight to the Cohens?"

"Ye. I don't remember how long it took but it wasn't far away."

"And when you got there?"

"Umm, I'm not sure…" she looked to Sandy for help.

"If I may Inspector."

"Go ahead."

"It was my wife, Kirsten, who opened the door to Marissa. I heard her crying for help so naturally I went to see what was wrong. When I got to the front door she was kneeling down holding Marissa who was just conscious. I ran to phone an ambulance and when I got back she was unconscious. The ambulance arrived in about 5-10 minutes and took her to Newport General."

Marissa felt her hands shaking. It was so scary hearing Sandy describe things that she didn't remember.

"Did you notice anything suspicious?"

"No, though I was in shock over what was happening so…"

"Right. Well, I think that's enough for now. I would like to see if you can describe your attackers so that we can try and form an image on the computer."

Marissa nodded. She had come this far but she didn't think she would be of much help. The only images of them in her mind were blurry. Partly because she couldn't remember what they looked like but mostly because she didn't want to.

* * *

"And that's how it's done!" Seth said victoriously throwing down his play station control. Ryan just stared transfixed over his characters mangled body. He always beat Seth at that game. The phone rang and Seth grabbed it.

"You have reached the anxiety helpline. My name is Stanley. How can I help you?"

"Seth, hand me over to your mother."

"Are you sure? You sound a little stressed."

"Seth," Sandy said warningly.

Seth took the hint.

"Mother!" he shouted at the top of his lungs. Kirsten walked in from the garden wearing her gardening gloves.

"It's Dad." Seth was about to throw the phone.

"Don't even think about it." She took off her gloves as she walked over to Seth.

"Hey, what's up?"

Seth and Ryan watched Kirsten expectantly as she listened to Sandy.

"Uh huh… Ok…. I'll see you soon… Ok… Bye… Love You… Bye."

She noticed Ryan and Seth staring at her.

"Is it about Marissa? Is she alright?" Ryan asked, becoming worried.

"Ye, she's fine. She just has to do a description of her attackers so that police can try and get an image of them. It seems as though everything went pretty well." She smiled as she saw Ryan's whole body relax.

"Hey, maybe now we can all just move on from this whole nightmare," Seth said still feeling slight tension in the air.

"I don't think it's going to be as easy as that for Marissa."

Seth looked at Ryan.

"Well we can help her."

* * *

Kirsten was sitting in the living room with a glass of wine watching Ryan and Seth on the play station. She was starting to get worried. Sandy had phoned over two hours ago. As she contemplated phoning him she heard voices and the front door clicked open. She immediately stood up as Sandy, Jimmy and Marissa walked through the doorway. Ryan paused the game and swiftly made his way over to Marissa. Kirsten put her glass down and followed Ryan.

Marissa rushed over to Ryan and hugged him. He felt her let out a shaky breath as she rested her head on his shoulder. He held her close to his body and neither of them spoke a word. All that mattered was that they were there for each other.

Kirsten kissed Sandy's cheek.

"How was it?"

"Ye, it was fine. I mean I know she found it difficult but she coped really well."

"You should probably get her home, she looks pretty exhausted," Sandy said to Jimmy as they all looked over at Ryan and Marissa still hugging.

They eventually stopped hugging.

"You ok?" Ryan asked her softly.

"Ye. I'm just glad it's over."

"Hey, kiddo, we should probably head home. You'll need some rest before school tomorrow."

"Ok," she turned back to Ryan.

"Do you think she's ready for school?" Kirsten said quietly to Jimmy.

"I think she just wants everything back to how it was."

"Well you best get her home then," Sandy said patting his shoulder.

Jimmy walked over to Marissa as the doorbell went.

Sandy opened the door.

"Hey Julie."

"Hey Sandy. Is she here?"

"Ye come on in."

She smiled at Sandy and walked past him.

"Oh honey!" she said as she hurried over to Marissa and hugged her. "When Kirsten told me you were going to see the police I was so worried. I wish you'd tell me things."

"I'm sorry," she said looking at her feet. Her mom always made her feel guilty even when she hadn't done anything wrong.

"Oh, sweetie, you don't have to apologise, I just want to be as much a part of your life as Jimmy is. Just remember that you can stay with me and Cal whenever you want. It's your home too. Talking of Cal I'm supposed to be meeting with him for dinner so I better go." She kissed Marissa's cheek. "Remember come over whenever." Marissa forced a smile. "Thank you so much for being there for Marissa. It means so much," she said to Sandy.

"I'll help in anyway I can."

She kissed him on the cheek and headed out the door.

"Well I for one think that was very civilised." Everyone looked over at Seth. "What! Julie and Jimmy in the same room for more than 10 seconds and my eardrums are still intact!" Everyone looked at him in complete silence. "Ok, you're allowed to make a little bit of noise. My eardrums aren't that weak." Still no one said anything. "I think that maybe I'll just go and make my own noise upstairs. Ok? Good…" Seth disappeared upstairs.

Jimmy clasped his hands together. "Well we should probably go."

"I'll see you out the front of the school tomorrow morning?" Marissa said to Ryan.

"I could pick you up."

"No it's cool."

"Ok." He gave her a quick kiss. He took her hand and they walked to the door. Marissa turned to Sandy.

"Thank you again for being there today. I couldn't have done it without you. I know that sounds really clichéd, but it's true."

"Well I've always been a fan of a good cliché."

Marissa smiled at Sandy and walked out to the car with Ryan.

Jimmy shook Sandy's hand.

"Thank you really doesn't cover what you guys have done for Marissa."

"That's what friends are for," Kirsten smiled at Jimmy and gave him a hug. "Take care of her," she said to Jimmy as he walked out to the car.

Marissa waved to Sandy, Kirsten and Ryan as they pulled out the driveway. She looked in the wing mirror as Ryan disappeared round the corner. She rested her head back and gazed out over the ocean, at the hazy pink and orange sky.

"_Things can only get better_," she thought as she smiled to herself.

Little did she know that the sky rumbling in behind her was black…..

* * *

I had more in this chapter but it was getting really long so I will add the next chapter quite soon. Please Review! 


	15. Blurred Vision

Chapter 15: Blurred Vision

"Marissa. Marissa. Marissa." The voice seemed to get louder and louder and louder. She heard her door open.

"If you're planning on going to school today you better get up."

Marissa groaned and tried to open her eyes. She managed to make out the shape of her dad standing in the doorway through her half shut eyes.

"I'll get your breakfast ready," he said shutting the door. Marissa sat up and swung her legs out of bed. She winced as she stood up too quickly. She had convinced everyone that it wasn't sore anymore but it was – she just couldn't stand their constant sympathy.

* * *

Jimmy put down his newspaper as Marissa walked in dressed for school.

"I put out some bagels and cereal."

"Thanks."

She picked the cereal and poured some in to a bowl. Jimmy watched Marissa start to eat. There seemed something odd about her.

"You alright?"

"Ye. Why?"

"I dunno, you're just very quiet, not yourself."

"Well it is practically the middle of the night," she said trying to sound cheerful. Jimmy smiled and went back to reading his paper. After a couple of minutes he put it down again.

"Remember, I'm always here if you need anyone to talk to."

"Ye, I know." She put her spoon in her half eaten bowl of cereal and stood up.

"Are you not going to eat that?"

"I'm not hungry," she shouted back, walking to the bathroom.

* * *

Jimmy finished reading the paper and stood up. He walked past the bathroom. The door was slightly ajar and something caught his eye. Marissa was standing in front of the mirror just staring at her reflection. Her face was full of sadness but there was something else there. Fear? He couldn't figure it out. But something wasn't right.

He watched as she lifted her hand up to her head.

He watched her pain as she gently touched the stitches and bruises – he felt her pain running through him. She tried to cover them over with her hair but she gave up.

He watched as she brought her hand back down and looked at her reflection.

He watched as a tear rolled down her cheek.

He watched as she wiped it away.

He watched as another tear escaped.

That was all he could seem to do.

Watch.

Even though there was only a door and a few steps separating them it felt like there was a whole ocean. He knew that the tears weren't because of what the stitches and bruises looked like. Underneath all that there was something much worse, scars inside her that would never heal. Ever since that night Marissa had changed and there wasn't anything he could do about it. He used to always comfort her if anything was wrong, so why could he not now? Why could he only watch as his daughter drifted away from him?

* * *

"Dad?"

Jimmy walked through and saw Marissa at the front door ready to leave.

"I can drive you if you want."

"No, it's fine."

"You sure?"

"Ye, I'm meeting Ryan, Seth and Summer out the front of school."

"Ok, well have a good day and if it's too much then just go to Dr Kim."

"Ok," she gave Jimmy a quick kiss on the cheek and went out the door.

He put his hand up to his cheek. He felt it burning from her kiss just like her tears burnt a trail through his heart.

* * *

Marissa pulled her car into a space at the front of the school. She looked over the school grounds, swarming with students. She took a deep breath and tried to stop her hands shaking. She picked up her bag from the passenger seat and got out the car. Her legs felt like jelly and she had to hold on to the car door for support. She slammed the door shut and made her way to the steps, gripping the handrail as she slowly made her way down. When she reached the bottom she noticed that everyone around her was stopping and staring at her. Nothing was ever kept quiet in Newport. She felt all their eyes burning holes in her body. She hung her head and tried to cover the bruises and stitches with her hair. People started to whisper to each other. She felt her throat close up and her eyes start to sting but she tried to ignore it all. She kept going until she reached her locker. She opened it and started fumbling around in her bag. She didn't even know what she was looking for she just had to do something. She tried to open a zip inside her bag but her hands were trembling too much. She just wanted to lean against the lockers and crumble to the ground.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and it all came flooding back

"_all we want is your bag"_

She turned around and crashed into the lockers, dropping her bag. She saw His face for a second but then it disappeared and it was just another student.

"Oh sorry I thought you were someone else."

She bent down trying to stuff everything back into her bag. Her breathing was shaky and she could feel tears falling from her eyes. She grabbed everything and stood up. There he was. Only a few metres away. He turned around holding the gun. She took a step backwards and pinned herself against the lockers.

"No, no," she whimpered. He started moving towards her. She could see the fire raging in his eyes. She crashed her locker shut and started running. She barged through everyone as they seemed to close in on her.

"_always so difficult"_

"_let me break it to you honey"_

"_doesn't happen like that in the real world"_

His voice was all around her.

"_doesn't happen like that in the real world"_

Except she wasn't in the real world. She was in a nightmare. One she had already lived through.

She ran up the steps shoving past people. She pulled her car door open and jumped in, slamming it shut. She tried to get her keys in the ignition but her hands were shaking and sweaty. She could feel tears falling down her face, blurring her vision. She forced the key in and reversed out at full speed. Cars beeped at her but she didn't care. She sped out of the car park. She ran her hand through her hair and sobbed. She didn't know where she was going. She didn't care where she was going. She just had to go. She tried to wipe away some tears but put her shaking hand straight back on the steering wheel as she swerved to avoid a car coming in the other direction. She kept her eyes glued to the road, flashes of everything that happened blurring her vision. Him. The gun. The ground. The car. The hospital. The station.

She slammed on the breaks and pulled in to the side of the road. She leant her head and arms on the steering wheel, her whole body shaking as she cried. She would do anything to wake up from the nightmare.


	16. Missing

Thanks so much for the great reviews. I really do appreciate it.

Chapter 16: Missing

"I'll see you guys later," Sandy said as he dropped Ryan and Seth off at school.

"K, see 'ya," Seth waved to his dad. They walked down the steps and headed in the opposite direction to where Marissa was, completely oblivious to what was happening. Just as they reached the school building they heard car horns.

"Ok. What's happening to this world! Road rage at 8:30 in the morning!"

They both glanced up to the car park which was obscured by trees. Ryan just shrugged his shoulders.

"Somebody is probably angry because the forgot their digital organiser come phone come personal servant, or something like that."

"Hey, I bet it was Summer." Ryan looked at him. "Don't tell her I said that."

"I won't," Ryan smirked at the look of fear on the Seth's face.

"No, seriously don't."

"You know anyone would think you were scared of Summer! Hey," Ryan smiled at Summer who was a few metres away.

"Now why would I be scared of Su…"Ryan elbowed him in the ribs. Seth turned to see Summer in front of them.

"Scared of what?" she asked innocently.

"Uh…sunbeds." Summer and Ryan both looked at him weirdly. "I mean all the celebs are doing it, but I'm just…just not so sure. You know sensitive skin, jew-fro…." He grinned at Summer.

"Ookay. Have you guys seen Coop?"

"No. We said we'd meet her here," Ryan replied.

"In the natural sun," Summer looked at Seth. "Or the shade. Whichever you prefer…."

"I'm just glad she's back," Summer said, ignoring Seth's comment.

* * *

A kid ran past Seth in to the school. Seth looked at Summer who was leaning against the wall with her arms folded, then at Ryan who was sitting on the ground against the wall. 

"Uhhh….is it just me or does it seem kind of quiet?"

Summer looked at her watch.

"Coop should be here by now. Where is she?" Summer was getting worried.

"Maybe she decided not to come in," Seth said trying to reassure her.

"But she would have phoned us."

Seth could see Summer becoming more worried.

"Hey, I bet she's talking to Dr Kim."

Summer looked at Seth. He was probably right. Something still didn't feel right though. Ryan stood up. He glanced around nervously. Just like Summer, there was a nagging feeling in the back of his mind telling him that something wasn't right. He tried to ignore it.

"We should get to class, find her at break," Seth said. Summer sighed.

"Yeah." Seth put his arm around Summer's shoulder and they walked in to the school. Seth looked back at Ryan who was still standing outside.

"Ryan? You coming?"

Ryan glanced around outside.

"Yeah." He picked his bag up from the ground and followed Summer and Seth.

Little did he know that he would soon be wishing that he had listened to the nagging voice in the back of his mind.

* * *

Ryan's eyes were glued to the clock. The second hand gradually made its way around. He turned back to his work. He couldn't concentrate – right now he really couldn't care less what happened in act 3 scene 2 of hamlet. 

He looked back at the clock. How was it possible? He could have sworn that it was at least ten minutes since the last time he looked not three.

"The clock must be wrong," he told himself. He looked at his watch then back at the clock. They read exactly the same time. He drummed his fingers on the desk with frustration. He just wanted to see Marissa, to know that she was alright.

Eventually the sound of the bell rang in his ears. He grabbed his books not bothering to put them in his bag and ran out of the classroom.

Summer walked out of class just as Ryan ran up to her. He looked past Summer expecting Marissa to follow her out, but the room was empty. He looked at Summer.

"She didn't turn up."

Summer had spent the whole lesson just waiting for Marissa to walk in. But no matter how hard she stared at the door it never opened. Seth walked up to them.

"Hey." He looked at Summer when neither of them replied.

"Didn't turn up?"

Summer shrugged her shoulders and shook her head. Seth put his arm around her shoulder and kissed her head.

"There's nothing to worry about. I'm sure she's fine."

"Then why do I have a weird feeling in my stomach?"

"Maybe you ate something funny."

"Cohen, I'm serious. Something's up."

Seth looked at Ryan whose brow was burrowed in thought.

"Ryan?"

He looked at Seth. "We should go and ask Dr Kim if she's seen her."

"Yes, good plan," Seth said smiling and squeezing Summer's shoulder.

* * *

"Come in." 

Ryan pushed the large wooden door open.

"Ryan," Dr Kim smiled. "What can I do for you?"

"Uh, I was just wondering if Marissa came by to see you this morning?"

"Marissa Cooper? No, I haven't seen her since before the incident."

"Oh."

"Is everything alright?"

"Uh, yeah, yeah. Thanks." He quickly walked out shutting the door behind him. Dr Kim frowned. She was about to follow Ryan when her phone rang.

"Hello. Oh. Yes, yes." She sat down at her desk, her strange encounter with Ryan slipping to the back of her mind.

"Well?" Summer looked at Ryan.

"She hasn't seen her."

Seth's smile faded.

"Have you tried her cell?" Seth asked Summer.

"I tried earlier but she didn't pick up."

"Try again."

Summer raked around her bag and brought out her cell phone.

It just kept ringing….and ringing….and ringing. It eventually reached the voice mail.

"Hey, it's Marissa. Leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible."

"Hey Coop. It's Summer…. and Seth and Ryan. Umm, you didn't come to school so we're just checking you're ok. So, uh, call me."

She ended the call and looked at Ryan and Seth.

"I don't understand. She always answers her cell."

"It was her new number you were phoning?" Seth asked.

Jimmy bought Marissa a new phone straight after the mugging. He wasn't going to have her going out without being able to get in touch.

"Yeah."

"Try her house," Ryan suggested.

Summer got the same noise. Constant ringing.

"If she's not here and she's not at home then where is she?"

"Well Jimmy's not at home either so maybe he took her out," Seth said reassuringly. He could tell that Summer was getting more worried by the second.

"Hey I'll phone my mum. See if she's seen Jimmy." Seth was running out of ideas. He took out his cell and phoned home.

"Hello."

Seth heard his mum's voice on the other end of the line.

"Mum."

"Seth? What's up? Why are you phoning in the middle of the school day?"

"Umm, I was just wondering if you've seen Jimmy."

"Well not since last night. Wh…"

"Or Marissa?"

"Why would I have seen Marissa? I thought she was at school."

"Ye so did I until she didn't turn up."

"Well she probably decided to stay home."

"We've called her cell and her house but didn't get an answer."

"I'm sure it's nothing to worry about," Kirsten replied noticing the concern in Seth's voice. "I'll drop by Julie's, see if she's there."

"Ok. Call me if she is."

"Ok, bye."

"Bye."

"My mum's gonna go see Julie, check if she's there."

Summer raised her eyebrows. "Highly unlikely but…."

The bell rang.

"Well we can't do anything more until lunch," Ryan said.

They all just looked at each other. Even Seth was worried.

* * *

Jimmy drove up the Cohen's driveway. He got out the car picking up a bottle of wine from the passenger seat. He rang the doorbell. 

"Jimmy," Kirsten smiled at him. He produced the bottle of wine from behind his back. "What's this for?"

"I just felt I had to do something after all that you and Sandy have done for Marissa. I mean I know it's not much but…."

"Jimmy you really didn't have to," she said taking the bottle.

"I know, but I wanted to."

"Come in," she ushered him through the door. "You want a glass?"

"Ye, sure. Thanks."

Jimmy sat on the couch as Kirsten filled up two glasses. She walked over and handed him a glass, sitting down beside him.

"Is it strange that I'm drinking the wine that I just bought for you as a gift?"

"Well I wasn't going to drink it on my own."

Jimmy held his glass up.

"Cheers."

Kirsten clinked her glass on his.

"Cheers," she took a sip. "Mmm," she swallowed. "Seth phoned me earlier, asking if I had seen Marissa."

Jimmy swallowed his mouthful of wine. "Why would you have seen her? She's at school."

"That's what I said, but apparently she's not."

"What do you mean she's not at school? I saw her leave this morning."

"Oh," Kirsten said, Seth's concern reflected in her voice.

"Well if she's not at school then where is she?" Jimmy couldn't understand. He watched her leave for school only a matter of hours ago.

"I thought she would be with you when Seth phoned." She noticed Jimmy's knuckles turning white as he gripped his wine glass.

"Well she's not with me." He dug his hand in to his pocket and took out his cell. He dialed her number.

"Come on, come on," he said under his breath as the phone kept ringing.

"Hey.."

He flipped his phone shut when he reached her voice mail.

"Dammit!"

Kirsten looked at him worried. Jimmy stood up and gulped down the rest of his wine. Kirsten stood up beside him. He thrust his empty wine glass in to Kirsten's hands.

"Thanks for the wine." He turned around and headed to the door.

"Wait, Jimmy! Where are you going? We have to think about this."

Jimmy spun round to face Kirsten

"I watched my 17 year old daughter leave for school this morning and no-one has seen her since. And all just a week after she was mugged and attacked in this very neighborhood! I really don't have time to think!" He said almost angrily. When he reached the door he turned around again.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take it out on you. It's just if something happens to her again…..I just need to find her. I need her back."

"It's fine. Phone me if you find her."

Jimmy nodded and shut the door. Kirsten downed the rest of her wine in a oner. She sat back down as she felt it burn down her throat. Maybe she shouldn't have told Seth that there was nothing to worry about.

* * *

Please review! 


	17. Somewhere Out There

Hey, sorry for taking soooo long to update. Thanks for all the reviews so far, please keep reviewing. I really appreciate it.

Chapter 17: Somewhere Out There

Ryan swung his bag over his shoulder as he and Seth walked out of class.

"You know, Ryan, I have found there to be one thing that can help in any difficult situation."

"Yeah? What's that?" Ryan said absently, walking a few steps in front of Seth.

"Just remembering that you're not a water polo player."

"And how would that help?"

"Those guys shave their chests!"

Ryan stopped and waited for Seth to catch up.

"Have you ever actually got to know one of them."

"Well you know I would have loved to have a chat but they were too busy peeing in my shoes," Seth said sarcastically.

"Cohen!"

They both turned as Summer ran over.

"Hey," she gave Seth a quick peck on the cheek

"You alright?" Seth immediately noticed Summer's worried expression.

"I just can't stop worrying about Marissa. I just want to know that she's alright."

"Hey, don….."

Seth was about to reassure Summer when a guy cut in.

"Hey, sorry, did I hear you talking about Marissa Cooper?"

"Oh, Jake, hey. Yeah why?" Summer asked.

"It's just, well, I saw her driving out of the car park in tears this morning. I don't want to get in the middle of whatever's going on but I thought you should know."

"And you're just telling us now?" Ryan felt the anger surging up inside him.

"Like I said, I don't want to be a part of this, I'm just telling you what I saw." He raised his hands up in defence. "I'm just the messenger."

Seth grabbed Ryan's shoulder as he lunged at Jake.

"I'm sorry man," Jake said walking away.

Ryan's brain suddenly went into overdrive. He had to go and find her. He turned around and started running.

"Hey Ryan!" Seth shouted when Ryan ran off. Ryan turned around to see a concerned looking Seth.

"I've got to find her Seth!"

"And you're going to do that on your feet? We don't have the car."

Ryan looked past Seth at Summer. Noticing this Seth turned around too. Summer still hadn't caught on to what they were both thinking.

"What?"

Seth looked at her as if to say 'what do you think'.

"Oh you want my car!" Summer started searching around her bag and found her keys. "Wait if my car's going then I'm going too."

"Well, if _you're_ then I'm going." Seth said.

"Ok, can we just go!" Ryan said out of desperation.

Seth and Summer joined Ryan and they all rushed over to the car park.

"Oh, hey, it's fine, you don't have to thank me…." Jake shouted to the three figures running away.

"So where are we going?"

"We're going to find Marissa. I'm not going to let her escape. Not again."

"Yes." Seth paused for a few seconds. "But do you not think we should think about where she could be." Ryan shot a look at Seth. "You know what I'll just sit in the back and keep my eyes peeled. Obviously not literally cause that would just…."

"Cohen," Summer was really getting tired of his chatting. In normal circumstances it was a good distraction but these were definitely not normal circumstances.

"And keep my lips sealed. Which, by the way, I did not mean to rhyme."

They all reached Summer's car and Ryan went and stood at the drivers door. He turned to Summer and held out his hand.

"Uh uh. Wrong side of the car buddy. The only person taking control here is me."

"Clearly," Seth said under his breath, impressed by Summer's commands at Ryan. Summer glared at Seth.

"Back of the car. Got it." Seth clambered in the back as Ryan reluctantly got in the passenger seat.

"Forgetting about the lips sealed business for like two seconds, you do realise that we're going to have to be back in school by the end of lunch break – Ryan isn't exactly in Dr Kim's good books."

"Well then where could she be?" Summer asked as she pulled out of the school car park.

"She could be anywhere," Ryan replied. Seth had gotten to know Ryan well since he first arrived but this was a Ryan he had never seen before. This was a scared Ryan, with fear resounding in his voice. He was starting to realise just how much Marissa means to Ryan.

"Hey, dude, we're going to find her."

"How do you know?"

"I just do."

"Let's try the beach hut," Summer suggested trying to lighten the mood slightly. "She always goes there to think."

Summer moved the gear. "_Please god, let her be there and safe_," she prayed to herself for her best friend.

* * *

Ryan slammed the car door shut and ran down to life guard hut.

"Marissa! Marissa!" He shouted her name as he ran across the sand. When he reached the ramp he looked up into emptiness. "Damn it!" He turned around and started to call her name out over the beach and the ocean. "Marissa!"

Seth ran up to Ryan and put his hand on his arm.

"Hey, Ryan. I don't think she's here man. We should call her house again see if she's there." Ryan looked at Seth then past him to Summer. He swallowed and nodded his head.

Ryan dialled Marissa's home number. But he got no answer. Just as he ended the call Seth's phone started ringing. Seth coughed to try and cover up the stars wars theme tune that was growing louder.

"Mum."

"Hey. I thought I should let you know that Marissa isn't at Julie's and Jimmy was around here earlier…." Kirsten paused, trying to delay telling him. "Seth, she didn't stay at home, she went to school."

"Ye I know."

"What do you mean you know?"

"A guy at school saw her driving out of school in tears."

Kirsten heard the faint crashing of waves in the back ground.

"Seth where are you?"

He knew his mum would not be a fan of them searching Newport in their lunch break.

"At school," he replied very unconvincingly.

"Seth…" Kirsten said warningly.

"Ok we're at the life guard hut looking for Marissa."

"Look, I know you're all just worried about her, I am too, but right now I think you should just go back to school. Jimmy is already out looking for her. Come straight home after school and if she hasn't turned up then we can think about what to do. Ok?"

"Ye, I'll see you later."

Seth hung up.

"Mum says just to go back to school, and worry about it later."

Ryan didn't look convinced by this idea.

"Come one Chino. Let's go. Lunch break is almost over." Summer said. Seth patted Ryan's shoulder and guided him back to the car.

* * *

"Mum!"

Kirsten heard Seth's voice echo through the house.

"In here," she called to him sitting at the coffee table with a laptop. Seth walked in with Summer right behind.

"Oh, hey Summer."

"Hey Mrs Cohen."

"Where's Ryan?"

"He's still doing detention."

"Oh of course."

"You alright?" Seth asked his mum. She seemed almost distant.

"Oh I'm fine, just got a lot on my mind," Kirsten replied closing the laptop.

"Tell me about it," Summer said under her breath.

Kirsten looked over at her. In just a glance Kirsten could tell how worried about Marissa she was.

"We'll find her don't worry," she tried to reassure Summer who just smiled weakly in return. Kirsten stood up.

"You guys want anything to eat? Drink? Strawberry milk?" she said smirking at Seth.

"Could I try some of that?" Summer asked Kirsten.

"Ye sure. What about you Seth?"

"I've already told you – Whisky not strawberry milk!" Kirsten just looked at him.

"Fine," Seth gave in. "I suppose I could try some."

Kirsten smiled at him and went to the kitchen.

"Don't forget the straw," he shouted to his mum.

He turned back and saw Summer look at him weirdly.

"Sensitive teeth," he said with a grin.

Summer rolled her eyes and moved right beside him on the couch, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Penny for your thoughts."

Summer sighed.

"How much time do you have? I mean there's a voice in my head telling me that everything's going to be fine but then there's another one that's telling me that what if it's not fine. Anything could have happened to her. There are just so many voices in my head, I just don't know what to think."

"Ignore the voices in your head, and listen to my voice ok? She is going to be fine. Jimmy is going to find her and bring her home."

He kissed the top of her head.

"Two strawberry milks."

Summer sat up as Kirsten handed her a glass.

"Thanks."

"And what better than strawberry milk to make you feel better," Seth said sucking milk through his straw. When Seth stopped sucking Summer leant in and started drinking his.

"Hey!" Seth shouted. "You've got your own!"

"I thought you didn't like it."

"I do not believe that those words ever left my lips."

"Well I'll leave you two alone," Kirsten smiled at Seth and Summer.

* * *

Sandy closed the front door behind him.

"Hello?" The whole house was eerily quiet. He frowned and walked through to the kitchen. Kirsten was standing at the worktop with her back to him. He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Hey," he kissed her cheek.

"Hey."

"Where are the boys?" He unwrapped his arms from around her and went to take a bagel out of the basket.

"Upstairs with Summer, I think," Kirsten replied still leaning on the worktop with her back to Sandy.

"What about Marissa? Where's she?" Sandy asked, taking a bite out of his bagel. He chewed waiting for Kirsten to reply but she said nothing.

"Kirsten?" he said to her swallowing and frowning.

"I don't know."

"I guess she's with Jimmy," Sandy replied cheerfully taking another bite out of his bagel. He walked over to the cupboard to take out a glass.

"No-one knows," Kirsten said bluntly.

Sandy closed the cupboard doors.

"No-one knows what?"

"Where Marissa is," Kirsten replied, still not looking at Sandy.

"What do you mean no-one knows where Marissa is?" Once again Kirsten remained silent. "Kirsten? Honey, what's going on?" He walked over to her and placed his hand on her shoulder. She turned around and looked in to his deep, loving eyes.

""No-one has seen her since she left for school this morning."

Sandy leant against the worktop trying to take in what Kirsten was saying.

"So she's run away?"

"I don't know. Jimmy sent her off to school this morning but she didn't show up in school, and Seth said that some kid saw her leaving school in tears."

Sandy stopped for a second trying to process everything that Kirsten was telling him.

"How are the kids?"

"None of them have really said much. I think they all just want her home and safe."

"What about Jimmy?"

"He's been driving around looking for her all day. And before you ask Julie doesn't know. I don't want to tell her before it's completely necessary."

"Well so much for a quiet night in."

Kirsten poured some wine and handed him a glass.

"What are you thinking?" Kirsten asked him, seeing lines forming on Sandy's forehead.

"How serious do you think this is? I mean should we call the cops? It's bad enough that no-one knows where she is but it is only just over a week ago that she was attacked. I mean what if the men that attacked her…."

"Wait Sandy there's nothing to say that anything has happened to her."

"For all we know anything could have happened to her." Sandy put his glass down. "I'm going to talk to the kids."

"What are you going to say?"

"Honestly? I have no idea. Why don't you phone Jimmy, tell him to come over here."

She nodded as Sandy walked over to the stairs.

"Sandy," Kirsten called to him. He turned round to face her. "Do you think she's alright?"

Sandy just looked at her and carried on walking.

It wasn't the answer that Kirsten wanted. All she wanted was for Sandy to take her hand and tell her that everything was going to be alright. But her hand was empty. She clenched the air between her fingers and picked up her wine glass pouring the contents down the sink, watching as the deep red liquid swirled out of sight. She took a deep breath and walked over to the phone. She knew that Jimmy definitely wouldn't be there to tell her everything was alright. As far as he was concerned nothing was alright until he had Marissa safe in his arms.

* * *

Please review!

Next Chapter – will they find Marissa?


	18. Blanket of Darkness

Sorry for taking so long to update. I hope you enjoy it and please review. It means a lot.

Chapter 18: Blanket of Darkness

Sandy knocked on Seth's door.

"Come in," a faint voice replied from inside.

Sandy walked in and saw Summer and Seth on the bed and Ryan on the chair at Seth's desk.

"Judging by the expression on your face mom has told you everything."

Sandy nodded grimly.

"I just wanted to check up how you all are and to reassure you that everything's going to be alright."

"You don't know that," Ryan replied under his breath, almost harshly. Sandy looked at him.

"That attitude's not going to help anyone! Especially Marissa!" Sandy shot back. Ryan stood up from the chair.

"I don't see how lying to myself is going to help Marissa! I don't know that everything's going to be alright, and you know what? It scares me!" Ryan shoved past Sandy and stormed out of Seth's room. Sandy looked at Seth. He knew that Ryan would be upset but he hadn't expected that.

"I think this is the point when I'm supposed to say something intelligent and reassuring." Summer looked at him, waiting for him to go on. "But I can't think of anything so I'm gonna go see how he is." Seth jumped off the bed and left the room.

"He didn't mean it you know."

Sandy looked over at Summer.

"Ryan. He didn't mean to snap at you like that. He's just been going through so much. And if it means anything I agree with you. Life's too short to be pessimistic. She's going to be fine. She has to be fine."

"Thanks Summer." Summer smiled at Sandy and walked out the room. Sandy sat on Seth's bed and picked up Captain Oats. He contemplated talking to the horse, but laughed it off and put it back down. No matter what was happening he couldn't quite see how a plastic horse would help. But that was how Seth got through things an unfortunately for Sandy his coping mechanism was to always be optimistic and reassuring which he was realising doesn't always work. He heard a gentle knocking at the door. He looked up and saw Kirsten in the door way.

"Hey," she said softly.

"Hey," he replied. She sat beside Sandy on the bed.

"I almost got knocked over by Ryan on the stairs and when I asked Seth what happened I think it went as far as 'Dad pissed Ryan off'. Whatever you said Ryan will realise that you were right and only meant well."

"Well then he'd be wrong." Kirsten clasped one of her hands in his.

"What do you mean?"

"I told him that everything's going to be alright but now I'm not so sure." Kirsten rested her hand on his knee.

"The Sandy Cohen that I married always stood by his first instinct…."

"But it wasn't always the right instinct," Sandy cut in. Kirsten squeezed his leg.

"Look Jimmy's coming over and I bet he could use some support right now."

"What would I do without you?" Sandy said kissing Kirsten's head.

"Oh suffer endlessly I'm sure."

She stood up from the bed and held out her arm. Sandy rose and linked his arm in hers.

* * *

Jimmy slammed the car door shut and ran up to the Cohen's front door. He pressed the doorbell. He saw a figure approaching through the glass.

"Jimmy," Kirsten stepped forward and hugged Jimmy. She looked at his pale complexion and dead eyes.

"How you holding up?" She knew it was a stupid question but she didn't know what else to say.

"Not so good," he replied emotionlessly.

Kirsten guided him over to the couch.

"You want anything to drink? Eat?"

"No thanks." He sat on the couch and rested his head in his hands. It broke her heart to see him like this. She sat down beside him.

"Where is she Kirsten?" Kirsten took one of his hands in hers. He looked at her. "I've spent the whole day driving around town and I've phoned her cell more times than I can remember. I just don't know what else I can do," he said helplessly.

"I think you should rest and let us help."

They both looked over to Sandy who was walking in.

"I can't rest. It's getting dark. I just want her home safely." Kirsten noticed Jimmy clenching his jaw to stop himself crying.

"You're in no fit state to be driving around looking for her. Why don't you go home in case she goes there, and I'll go out looking."

"I should go home too."

Sandy, Kirsten and Jimmy looked over at Summer who was standing with Seth and Ryan.

"My dad's expecting me, and you never know Marissa might go there."

"Right well I better get going. It's getting dark," Sandy said.

"I'm coming with you."

Sandy looked at Ryan. He was about to protest and tell Ryan to stay at home but he knew better. He knew Ryan wouldn't give in through the look of determination in his eyes. If Marissa needed saving Ryan was going to make sure he would be her saviour.

"Let's go then."

Summer kissed Seth on the cheek. "Call me if anything happens."

"Ye same."

Summer walked towards the door. At the last minute she turned back and looked at Ryan and Sandy.

"Please find her," her voice quavered as she rushed out the door before the tears started flowing down her face.

Kirsten hugged Jimmy in a final attempt to reassure him. Sandy held out his hand. Jimmy grasped it.

"Thank you Sandy," he said quietly. Not knowing what to say, Sandy hugged him patting his shoulder. "If there's ever anything…."

"Jimmy, it's fine. Go home and get some rest," Sandy told him. Kirsten watched helplessly as Jimmy walked out the front door.

"Come on kid let's go," Sandy said to Ryan. He put his arm around the boys' shoulder and led him to the door.

"Wait Sandy," Kirsten called to him.

"Go out to the car, I'll be there in a minute," Sandy told Ryan. He walked over to Kirsten.

"Do you think we should call the police?" She asked him quietly. She had prayed that it would never come to this, but she realised that it was becoming too late for prayers.

"I think we should let them know what's happening."

"Okay," Kirsten nodded. "I guess I should phone Julie and tell her what's going on." Sandy gently placed his hands on her cheeks.

"I'm going to find her," Sandy said forcefully. He kissed her gently on the lips, and hugged her close to him.

"I trust you," she whispered into his ear. Sandy let go of his wife and hurried out the front door, closing it behind him.

Kirsten felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned to see Seth behind her. She moved closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder.

"If anyone can find her it's Sandy Cohen," Seth reassured his mom.

"I hope you're right."

"I'm always right," he paused for a second. "And modest too," he added sarcastically.

"I should go phone Julie," she let go of Seth.

"Is there anything I can do?" Seth asked helplessly.

"I could really do with a coffee.

"Now that I can do. Though actually I did manage to drop the pot a few years ago," he said frowning. He shook his head. "Anyway, you phone Julie and I'll have the coffee ready in a jiff." Kirsten smiled at him and walked away.

"In a jiff? Who says that!" he muttered to himself once Kirsten had left, realising how stupid he had sounded.

* * *

Sandy kept his eyes on the road which was lit up by street lamp as the whole of Newport was gradually covered in a blanket of darkness. He and Ryan had been searching for almost 2 hours. He glanced sideways at Ryan whose eyes were constantly scanning the landscape, searching for a clue as to where Marissa was, hoping for a ray of light to shine through the darkness. They had barely uttered a word to each other the whole time – all of Ryan's concentration was focused on finding Marissa. The silence was suddenly broken as the cell phone which Ryan was clutching started to ring. Ryan's heart skipped a beat then sped up.

"_Is it her? Is she ok?"_ he thought to himself as he opened the phone. "Home" appeared on the small blue screen

"Kirsten? Seth? What's going on? Is she there? Have you found her?"

"Woah, buddy I think you just said more in those 2 seconds than you did in like the first month that I knew you."

"Seth…what's going on? Is she there?"

"No." Ryan's heart sank at this blunt statement. "We're just really worried. You've been out for almost 2 hours. I swear mom has done about the distance of a marathon through pacing up and down the room."

There was an awkward silence as neither of them spoke.

"Ryan?"

"I'm not coming home until I find her, no matter how long it takes."

"Well I hope it's sooner rather than later and not just because mom's going to die of exhaustion soon."

"Seth I really have to…." Seth pulled the phone away from his ear as Ryan's voice was replaced with crashing and crackling noises.

"Ryan? Ryan?" Seth shouted desperately down the phone. He heard Ryan's distant muffled voice shout "Sandy" then the line went blank. Kirsten rushed over on hearing Seth's frantic calls.

"What's going on? Have they found her?" she asked Seth, with the same tone of urgency that Ryan had.

"I don't know. I lost connection, but something's happening….."


	19. Stumbling

Once again thanks for the reviews for the last chapter

Chapter 19: Stumbling

"Seth I really need to…." Ryan's heart skipped a beat and he felt the grip on his phone loosen. It fell from his hand and landed at his feet.

"Sandy!" Ryan shouted urgently. Sandy slammed on the brakes. He looked at Ryan who was staring into the distance, his eyes wide with fear. Sandy quickly followed Ryan's line of sight. Not far from them a car was parked off the road at the cliff edge.

Marissa's car.

Sandy pressed his foot on the accelerator and pulled in to the side of the road near Marissa's car. Ryan jumped out before Sandy had even stopped, and sprinted over to the car. He looked through the windows but no-one was there. He tried to pull one of the doors open but it was locked. Why was this happening to him? Was it really too much to ask? To just be able to hold her close to him. Ryan started kicking the car tyres in frustration. Through his rage he heard Sandy calling his name. He looked over to him. As soon as he saw Sandy's expression he knew something was really wrong. Ryan watched as Sandy lifted his arm and pointed to something behind Ryan. Ryan gradually turned around afraid of what he might see. At first all he could see was darkness, the ocean spreading out past the cliff edge. But away in the distance on the edge of the cliff he saw an outline of a figure through the darkness.

Before Ryan knew what was happening his legs were carrying him towards the figure, adrenalin and fear pumping through his veins. Ryan was shouting her name but all he could hear was the crashing of the waves below him.

"Marissa! Marissa!" He was getting closer but she still wasn't responding. She was standing completely still facing out into the ocean. He was only a matter of metres away before she finally moved. She turned her head towards him, her hair whipped off her face by the wind. Her eyes were red and puffy with a black smudge of makeup around each. She looked at him emotionlessly for a few seconds the turned back to the ocean

"Marissa?" He took another step towards her. When she had looked at him an eerie feeling swept through his body. It was as though the old Marissa had been replaced with an empty shell, void of all happiness. She still didn't say anything so he carefully took another step towards her. She was standing only about a metre away from the cliff edge and all he wanted to do was grab her and hold her tight, but he restrained himself. He knew that if he made one wrong move then he wouldn't be holding her. Ever. But if he didn't do anything he didn't want to think about what might happen. He stretched out his hand and gently touched her arm. As soon as his fingertips grazed her cold, bare arm he knew he had made a mistake. She suddenly reacted stumbling sideways away from him. Something all too familiar to Ryan.

* * *

_Ryan peered through the small crack at his bedroom door. He gathered his blankets around him as he sat up all night just waiting. He felt his eyelids gradually grow heavier but he forced himself to stay awake. He quickly sat up as he heard the front door slam shut. He sat still as the house fell into complete silence. Then it happened. He watched as his mom stumbled past his door crashing into the table in the hallway. Ryan felt his heart sinking. He wished that for once she would come home without smelling of alcohol. He wished that for once she would gather him up in her arms and kiss him goodnight. He knew that she should be looking after him and not the other way round, but if he didn't look after her then who would? Ryan gently kissed his hand and blew it to her through the small crack, as she stumbled through the house completely unaware of him. He closed his eyes and sighed as he gently closed his door._

_

* * *

_

Marissa had the same stumble as his mom, but the one difference was that there was nothing in Marissa's way for her to crash into. If she stumbled too far…..

That was when he noticed the bottle of vodka in her other hand. Why was it always vodka?

* * *

"_Mommy I'm thirsty. Can I have some of your water?"_

"_Ryan, go back to bed," she slurred. He retreated out the door. The last thing he saw before the door was slammed in his face was 'Vodka'._

_

* * *

_

From then on it had haunted his dreams.

As Marissa lifted the bottle up to her mouth to take a swig Ryan snapped. He couldn't just stand there. He wasn't going to let her slam the door in his face. He lunged forward and grabbed the almost empty bottle out of her hand.

"What the hell are you doing!" All the anger and fear inside Ryan rose to the surface.

"Why don't you just leave me alone!" she shouted back at him. He saw as tears retraced their way down her cheeks.

"We've spent all day looking for you and the whole time you've been here drowning your sorrows in vodka!" He threw the bottle to the ground and watched as it smashed into hundreds of pieces. "God damn it, Marissa! It's not going to help!" He just couldn't take it anymore.

"I don't know what else to do!" she cried back, tears flooding from her eyes. "I thought that going to the police, getting everything that happened out of my system would make it better, but it didn't!" She struggled to go on through her sobs. "And I'm scared, Ryan! All the time!"

"Then let me help you!"

"You can't help me! You don't understand! You weren't there!"

"Ye, I wasn't! And everyday I think 'What if?'. What if I had been there. Been with you, to help you. To save you from all this pain."

His voice started to lower as their eyes met.

"Well it's a bit late for that now," Marissa started to turn around.

"No it's not!" Ryan took a step towards her.

"Yes it is!" Marissa ran her hand through her hair. "It's happened, and I've got to live with the memory of it for the rest of my life."

"We can get through it! We can fight it together," he said taking another step towards her.

"No we can't! I can't. I'm too tired of fighting," she took a step back away from Ryan.

"Marissa…."

"Ryan, please…..," she said weakly. "I just need to be alone." She turned around to walk away but she had forgotten one thing. She had forgotten that step she had taken backwards. Backwards towards the cliff edge.

Marissa felt the ground crumble beneath her feet as she went one step too far. Her heart skipped a beat as the world around her slowed.

Ryan watched as Marissa's eyes widened in fear as the ground beneath her started to disappear.

"MARISSA……!"

* * *

Please Review! 


	20. Now or Never

Chapter 20: Now or Never

Sandy's ears buzzed as an ear piercing scream echoed through the silence.

"Oh my god," Sandy said to himself under his breath as he watched Marissa disappear off the cliff edge. He sprinted over, her scream still echoing around his head.

"MARISSA!" Ryan lunged forward as she let out a loud scream. He threw himself to the ground as she slipped off the edge. At the last second his hands grazed her arms and he grabbed on to her wrists. Ryan was lying on his front, Marissa hanging in mid air. He was the only thing between her life and death.

"RYAN! RYAN, help me!" she screamed in terror. "Please, please! I don't want to die!" she sobbed hysterically.

"You're not going to die! I won't let you! I've got you!"

Marissa looked down below her at the rocks and crashing waves. She knew that if she fell she would never get to feel Ryan's arms around her again.

"Marissa! Look at me!" Ryan shouted. Marissa looked back into Ryan's eyes as she continued to sob in fear. "I've got you! I'm not going to let go!" Ryan's heart panged with guilt as he said this, because truthfully he didn't know how long he would be able to hold her. At this second Ryan felt his grip start to slip. She cried out again.

"Ryan!" She swallowed and gazed deeply into his eyes. "Ryan, tell everyone that I love them. I love you Ryan, so much."

"No Marissa! No! Don't say that!"

"I love you," she cried weakly as he lost grip of her right arm.

"Marissa!" He tightened his grip on her other hand as she continued to sob. Suddenly Sandy was at Ryan's side.

"Marissa!" he shouted to her. "Take my hand." He lay down like Ryan and reached his arm over the cliff edge. Marissa looked up at him. He saw the terror on the young girls face. He wasn't going to let her die.

"Take my hand!" he shouted again. She stretched up her arm, but it wasn't enough.

"I can't! I can't reach!" she started crying hysterically again, her breathing speeding up.

"Yes you can!" Sandy said edging himself further over the edge.

"Sandy!" Ryan cried as rocks started to tumble away. Sandy ignored Ryan's cry.

"Come on honey. Take my hand," he said reaching out again. She reached up and her fingertips grazed his, but it still wasn't enough.

"Sandy! Come on, she's slipping!"

"R-y-a-n," she cried through short sharp breaths.

"Slow deep breaths, Marissa," Sandy encouraged stretching his hand down. Marissa looked up at his hand.

"This is it," she thought to herself. "It's now or never." With all the energy she had she reached up. Sandy grabbed on to her fingers.

"That's it! Come on!" He grabbed her hand tighter. "On three we're going to pull you up. Ready Ryan?" Ryan nodded. "One, two, three!" Ryan and Sandy used all their strength. "Keep going! Keep going!" Sandy shouted as they pulled her up. They got her over the edge of the cliff, pulling her as they fell to the ground, Marissa lying between them. Ryan grabbed onto Marissa and held her tight as she continued to cry hysterically.

"You're safe now," he reassured her, rubbing her back. He rocked her back and forth as she buried her head in his shoulder, her whole body shaking. "Sh, sh. Deep breaths," he coaxed her as he felt her struggle through short, sharp breaths. She lifted her head of his shoulder.

"I was so scared," she said her voice shaking through sobs. "I thought I was going to….."

"Hey, hey," he held her face in his hands. "You're safe now. I'm never going to let anything happen to you," he leaned forward and kissed her passionately. She kissed him back as she felt his strong, loving hands gently stroke her cheeks. They rested their foreheads together as Marissa started to calm down.

"I love you," he whispered to her.

Sandy took a long deep breath as he wiped the sweat off his forehead. He could feel his heart beat start to slow, and his hands stop shaking. He didn't think he had ever seen anyone looked so scared in his life. He stood up shakily.

"We should go home," he said to the two teens still on the ground hugging on to each other. Ryan let go and helped Marissa to her feet. He held her tight as her legs started to give way. Sandy took off his jacket and carefully draped it around her shoulders. Ryan wrapped it tightly around her and guided her over to the car. Sandy walked a few steps behind them. He stopped and looked out over the ocean. He was in total shock over what had just happened. If Ryan hadn't been able to hold on to her for that extra second, she would have fallen to her death.

"Sandy?" He heard Ryan calling him. He shook his head in disbelief and made his way over to the car. He arrived at the car as Ryan helped Marissa into the back seat. He closed her door and walked over to Sandy. They looked at each other. Sandy stretched out his hand and placed it on Ryan's shoulder. Ryan was about to talk when Sandy cut in.

"You don't have to say anything, kid. Let's just get home."

Ryan smiled at him weakly, glad that Sandy knew how grateful he was and always would be.

"What about her car?" Ryan asked Sandy.

"We'll get it tomorrow."

Ryan got in the back beside Marissa as Sandy climbed in the front. Just as Sandy was about to drive away he heard a phone ringing. He leaned over to the passenger seat and picked the phone up from the floor.

"Hello."

"Sandy? What's going on?" Kirsten asked him urgently. Sandy pulled the car back on to the road.

"We've got her. She's safe. We're just taking her home now."

"What the hell happened? When Seth phoned and lost connection I didn't know what to think."

"I'll tell you when I get home. But the main thing is she's safe," Sandy replied quietly glancing in the mirror at Ryan and Marissa.

"Are you ok?" Kirsten asked.

"Yeah, I'll see you soon."

"Ok, bye. Love you."

"Love you too."

He threw the phone onto the passenger seat and glanced back into the mirror. Ryan was sitting with his arm around Marissa as she lay her head on his shoulder. He watched as Ryan gently kissed Marissa's head. He knew that after this Ryan wouldn't want to let Marissa out of his sight. Sandy couldn't blame him. If it had happened to Kirsten he would feel exactly the same.

* * *

"Jimmy?"

Jimmy jumped up from the couch when he heard Sandy call his name. He was about to ask Sandy where she was when Ryan walked in with his arm around a pale shaking Marissa. He immediately ran over to her. Ryan moved away as Jimmy threw his arms around her. She hugged him back.

"I'm sorry," Marissa said as she started to cry again.

"Hey, hey. You're home now. It's alright," he comforted her stroking her hair. He looked at Sandy as he continued to hold Marissa close. He frowned as if to say "What happened". Sandy just dropped his head. Jimmy was dreading finding out. He could smell the alcohol on Marissa. Jimmy took Marissa by the shoulders and kissed her forehead.

"Why don't you go with Ryan and get yourself cleaned up," he said to her gently. Ryan put his arm around her shoulder and led her away. He glanced back at Jimmy and Sandy. He was glad he wasn't the one explaining what happened.

* * *

Ryan took Marissa to her bedroom and sat her down on the bed. He got out her dressing gown and pyjamas.

"I'll go and run you a bath. Okay?" Ryan said going in to her drawer. He walked back over to her.

"Marissa?"

She was sitting on the edge of the bed staring straight ahead of her with a blank look on her face. Ryan knelt in front of her and held on to her cold hands. He looked up at her.

"Marissa?"

She still kept her eyes fixed in front of her. The only thing that changed was a tear that rolled down her cheek. Ryan stroked her hand.

"We're going to get through this together."

It wasn't everyday you have a near death experience and after everything Marissa had just been through Ryan knew it was going to take time. But no matter how long it took Ryan swore to himself that he would be with her all the way. He stood up and took Sandy's jacket from around her shoulders.

"I'll be back in a minute, why don't you get changed." Ryan closed the door as she sat there still not saying a thing.

* * *

"So?" Jimmy said to Sandy. Sandy looked up at Jimmy. There was no way of making it sound better so he just told it as it was.

"Well, when Ryan and I were driving around we saw Marissa's car parked at the cliff edge. I saw Marissa in the distance at the cliff so Ryan ran to her. After that I don't know what happened until I heard her scream, and saw her fall. I ran over to Ryan who was clinging on to her. We eventually managed to pull her back up."

Jimmy stared at Sandy, not willing to believe that it had happened.

"And we both know what she was doing up there," Sandy said to Jimmy remembering the distinct smell of alcohol on her. Jimmy looked at Sandy then hung his head.

"Why did she go there? Something must have happened."

"You'll have to talk to her about that but I think you should leave that for tomorrow."

"Thank you so much Sandy. I really…I really don't think I'll ever be able to tell you how much I appreciate what you've done."

"Jimmy it's fine."

"No Sandy it's not! You and Kirsten were more than amazing after she was attacked and now you just saved her life! I don't know what to do to show how much I appreciate what you guys have done."

"Jimmy listen to me, I know how thankful you are. But the most important thing is that she is alive."

They both turned around as Ryan walked in.

"She's just taking a bath," he told them quietly.

"Hey, you ok?" Sandy asked him.

"What happened tonight?" Ryan said in frustration.

"Right now we don't know, but we're going to find out, and we're going to sort it out. Okay?" Sandy said reassuringly. "Okay?"

"Ye," Ryan replied unconvinced. He would do anything he could to get to the bottom of Marissa's problems but he had a feeling that they were too deep for him to reach. Maybe too deep for anyone to reach.

* * *

Please review. 


	21. Sound of Silence

I'm sorry for taking so long to update. I've been revising for exams pretty much the whole of Easter break. I have the next few chapters pretty much done so I'll be able to update regularly. Please review.

Chapter 21: Sound of Silence

Jimmy jumped up as Marissa walked in.

"Hey kiddo. How you feeling?" Marissa rubbed her head groggily.

"Hmm. What time is it?" Jimmy glanced at his watch.

"3pm."

Marissa groaned and flopped down on a chair at the table. Jimmy just stood and watched her as she rested her head in her hands. He didn't know what to say. Should he just ask her what happened? If he was going to figure everything out he was going to have to say something. He walked over and sat across from her. He clenched his hands together.

"I saw you yesterday."

Marissa lifted her head up and looked at him.

"In the bathroom, before school."

She remained silent, eventually turning her head away as she felt tears forming in her eyes. He reached out and touched her arm. She tensed as she felt his fingers resting on her arm.

"Marissa, please, tell me what happened," he said quietly.

"It's nothing," she replied bluntly, moving her arm.

"I'd hardly call it nothing. You almost died last night."

Marissa suddenly stood up, scraping her chair backwards.

"Yeah, well maybe I should have!"

Jimmy sat there in shock. Why would she ever think that? He stood up and started walking over to her.

"Hey, don't say that!"

"Why not? It would make everything easier!"

He wrapped his arms around her, as she began to quietly cry.

"Sh, sh. Tell me what happened so I can help. That'll make it easier."

"I can't," she whispered, burrowing her head in his shoulder.

"Why not?"

"It's too hard."

"Get it all off your chest and you'll feel much better," He said rubbing her back soothingly.

"I tried that before, and it didn't help."

Jimmy stopped her hugging her and looked at her.

"What do you mean?" He gently lifted his hand and wiped a tear off his face.

"I can't do this. I just need to be alone right now," she said quickly turning away from him.

"Hey, hey. Come here," he said holding on to her arm.

"Get off me," she said harshly as she struggled out of his grip and ran to the bathroom, locking herself in.

Jimmy stood there in confusion. He went and sat back down at the table. He clenched his fist and hit it on the table. He rested his elbows on the table and put his head in his hands. He couldn't under stand why she couldn't talk to him. Jimmy looked up when the doorbell rang. He walked over to the door.

"Hey Jimmy."

"Sandy, come on in," he said opening the door wider.

"I was just dropping Marissa's car off," he said handing Jimmy the keys.

"Thanks."

"How's she doing?"

"Uh, not so good. Actually she just locked herself in the bathroom after telling me she wished she had died."

"She what?" Sandy said in shock. "Why would she say that?"

"Apparently it would make everything easier."

Sandy looked at Jimmy sympathetically.

"I just don't understand. Why can't she tell me what happened?"

"I don't know. Maybe she thinks you'll be disappointed in her."

"I don't think this is about me."

"If you need anything you know where I am."

"Yeah, thanks."

"Well I've got to get back to work. Give her some time," Sandy reassured him patting his shoulder.

Jimmy watched as Sandy left. Jimmy didn't know how much time to give her. If he gave her too much time it might be too late to do anything.

* * *

Seth and Ryan dumped their school bags at the door.

"Well if you want my advice – which you probably don't – you should go and see her. From what you told me about last night it seemed pretty intense…"

"Seth, she almost died! That's more than intense," Ryan cut in.

"Sure, but she didn't though. So in my not so expert experience what she'll really need right now is some big muscular arms to comfort her. And I think we both know who has muscular arms," Seth smirked playfully punching Ryan's arm.

"Well certainly not you."

"I am going to choose to ignore that comment. But seriously though," Seth said stopping joking, "Go and see her."

"But what am I supposed to say to her. I don't even know what happened yesterday."

"Exactly. You're not going to find out if you don't go and see her."

Ryan looked at Seth still not sure.

"Bagel?" Seth said producing a bagel from behind his back

Ryan smiled at him and went to grab the bagel out of Seth's hand but he moved it away.

"Ah, ah. You don't get the bagel until you tell me you'll go and see her."

"Seth there's a whole basket of bagels sitting behind you that I could take."

"Yes but none of them are as good as this one, and we both know that I am an expert on the bagel."

"Okay, I'll go and see her," Ryan said as Seth gave him the bagel.

"Hey, if I didn't know better I'd say you're scared."

Ryan stopped in his tracks and turned back to Seth.

"Seth, I found my girlfriend on a cliff edge with a bottle of vodka and probably more than that inside her, I think I have a right to be scared."

Seth just stood there in silence, stuck for words, as Ryan went to the pool house.

"Hey, Seth."

Seth's whole body jumped as he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Woah! Good lord! Summer! When did you become so stealth?"

"Seth I was hardly stealth, though in comparison to your skills in that area I could see why you would think that."

"What are you doing here?"

"Am I not allowed to come and see my boyfriend?"

"Well yeah, but I saw you like an hour ago at school."

"Well maybe I missed you in that hour."

Seth looked at her as if to say 'come on, what are you really here for?'.

"Ok, fine. So that wasn't actually why I came. I talked to Coop."

"You did? Well what did she say?"

"Hardly anything. I told her that I had spoken to Ryan, and that I was there to talk. She thanked me then mumbled something about having to go and hung up. I didn't even say goodbye. How can we make her see we're on her side?"

"Well Ryan's going to go over to see her so maybe we could go with him."

"I'm really worried about her Seth. She didn't seem herself."

"Well you can hardly blame her. I wouldn't want to be her right now either."

"Seth that's not funny."

"It wasn't meant to be," Seth said seriously.

"Hey guys."

They turned around as Kirsten walked in.

"Wow, mom. You're home early," Seth said in shock.

"Yeah, well I finished all I had to do for today so I thought I'd come home to spend sometime with my sons," She said planting a kiss on Seth's cheek.

"Well Ryan's going over to Marissa's," Seth said wiping his cheek.

"I'm home!" Sandy shouted waking through the front door.

"Okay what's going on here?" Seth said confused.

"I got fed up at work so I came home," Sandy replied putting down his briefcase.

"Hmm, I like your honesty."

"Summer, how're you doing?"

"Hey, Mr C. I'm alright."

Sandy walked over to Kirsten and kissed her lightly on the lips.

"So Ryan's going to see Marissa?" Kirsten asked Seth.

"Yeah, we are all going to go to see her."

"I can't believe what happened last night," Kirsten said shaking her head.

"I don't know if going to see her is a good idea," Sandy said.

"Why not?" Seth asked.

"I went over earlier to drop off her car and when I got there Jimmy was pretty upset. Marissa had just locked herself in the bathroom after telling him she wished she had died."

They all stared at Sandy in shock.

"Why would she say that?" Kirsten said in disbelief.

"I really don't know. But I just think that maybe she needs some space."

"By the sounds of it what she needs is people to be there for her. I mean don't you want to know what happened to her yesterday?" Seth said.

"Of course I do," Sandy said starting to get angry. "I want to know what happened more than anything! I saw the look in her eyes last night. The look of complete fear!"

"Hey, Sandy. It's okay," Kirsten said putting her arm around him.

"What's going on?" Ryan asked walking in.

"I was just telling mom and dad that we're going to see Marissa."

Sandy was about to say something when Kirsten grabbed his arm and frowned at him.

"Well you ready then?"

Seth looked at Sandy to see what he was going to say. When he said nothing Seth turned back to Ryan.

"Ready if you are."

"Okay, see you guys later and Seth," Kirsten ushered him over to her as Ryan and Summer went out to the car, "Be careful."

Seth nodded and followed Summer and Ryan outside.

* * *

"Oh, hey guys," Jimmy said to the three teens at the door.

"Hey, can we see Marissa?" Ryan asked him.

"Uh, yeah, come on in. She's in her room. She's pretty upset though. She won't talk to me."

"Don't worry Mr Cooper, just give her some time," Summer said reassuringly.

"Thanks Summer."

She smiled at him as they all went over to Marissa's room.

Marissa was sitting on her bed holding her bear. She didn't know how long she had been sitting there just staring at the bare wall. She looked at the door when she heard a gentle knock. She got up and warily opened the door. She was surprised to see Seth, Summer and Ryan standing at her door, though she didn't know why she should be surprised. They were her friends and would want to know if she was alright.

"Oh, hey," She said weakly.

"Can we come in?" Summer asked her friend gently.

"Ye, sure," Marissa answered quietly. Summer looked at Marissa's pale and tear stained face, and tried to smile at her. Marissa opened the door wider and went and sat on the edge of the bed. They all hovered in front of her, awkwardly.

"So what's up?" Marissa asked trying to sound natural but failing miserably.

"We just came to see how you are," Summer said calmly.

"Oh I'm great," Marissa said smiling fakely. She swallowed deeply as she felt tears start to resurface. She was dreading them asking her what happened. She couldn't understand why she was finding it so hard to tell anyone what happened. It was just like her brain and body just wanted to cover it up, pretend it didn't happen. Seth and Ryan looked at each other awkwardly as the room fell silent.

"So do you want to tell us what happened to you yesterday?" Marissa looked at Ryan, who just stared straight back at her. Seth and Summer looked from Marissa to Ryan. They were all bracing themselves for what she was going to say. Suddenly she burst in to tears holding her head in her hands. Summer rushed over to her and sat beside her on the bed, wrapping her arms around her.

"Hey, it's alright," Summer said soothingly. She looked over at Seth and Ryan, not knowing what to do. None of them knew what to do to get her to talk to them.

* * *

Tell me what you think. 


	22. Hopes and Dreams

Thanks again for all the great reviews – keep them coming. Hope you enjoy:

Chapter 22: Hopes and Dreams

Marissa smiled when Seth opened the door.

"Hey Seth."

"Hey. Come on in."

"Thanks."

"I'm guessing Ryan's in the pool house."

"Umm, actually no," Seth said looking at the floor.

"Oh ok. Where is he then?" Seth rested his hand on her shoulder and led her through the house.

"Uh, Seth, what's going on?" Marissa looked at him confused.

"Well…" he looked out over the living area where everyone was sitting – Ryan, Summer, Kirsten, Sandy, Julie and Jimmy. Marissa followed his gaze.

"Okay, what's going on?" she said confused though she had an idea of what was happening.

"Marissa, honey, why don't you come and sit down?" Marissa glared at her mom.

"I'm not sitting down until someone tells me what's going on here!" She wished they wouldn't all just sit there staring at her. She couldn't stand all the sympathy in their eyes. Jimmy stood up and walked towards her.

"Kiddo, I know you've been through so much recently," Marissa folded her arms and glared at her dad as he walked over to her, "but keeping it all to yourself isn't going to help. I don't know why you can't tell me, or anyone else here, what happened. We're on your side, we're here to help, but we can't help if you don't let us in." He looked into her deep eyes and tried to read her emotions. He used to always be able to tell when she was sad, scared, happy, anything. He always knew when she needed a hug or when she needed to be left alone, but recently he never seemed to know what to do.

"What're you saying?" she asked calmly but angrily.

"I'm saying that I think, we all think, that you need to see someone. Someone who can help you better than we can."

"I am not going to see another therapist!" she shouted suddenly, unfolding her arms. Julie stood up.

"After Tijuana it was part of our agreement."

"Yeah, and look how well that turned out," she threw back, sarcastically. "Those places are full of kids whose parents can't be bothered dealing with what's really going on!"

"Well what is really going on?" Marissa looked over at Ryan who was standing up.

"I…I…" Marissa felt her eyes start to brim with tears.

"Here's your chance. Clear the air," Ryan said seriously.

"I…" she stammered again. She suddenly sobbed and turned around, running back to the door.

"Marissa!" Jimmy shouted to her. He was about to go after her when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned round to see Ryan.

"Don't. Let me."

He ran past Jimmy as Marissa ran out the front door, slamming it after her. Jimmy turned to everyone. The only thing they all wanted was for her to get help and to move on with her life.

Marissa ran down the driveway as her hair blew into her face, sticking to her wet cheeks. Ryan ran out the front door as Marissa reached the bottom of the driveway. He knew he would easily be able to catch her. He followed her as she turned left out onto the street. He grabbed onto the top of her arm.

"Ryan! Let go of me!" she cried, struggling to get out of his grip. He drew her to him as she flailed her arms around. Her hand accidentally collided with his mouth as she continued to struggle with him. He just held on to her tighter as he felt blood on his lip.

"Ryan! I mean it! Get off me!" she shouted through sobs. "Get off me!" she said slighter weaker. "Ryan…" she said quietly through a sob as she started to give in. "What's happening to me?" she cried weakly, slowly giving in and letting Ryan wrap his arms around her. He didn't say anything. He knew that if he did he would probably just say something to upset her even more. He just held on to her tightly as her sobs gradually slowed down.

He didn't know how long they had been standing there just holding on to each other. He was suddenly aware of how quiet it was.

"Hey, it's getting cold. We should go back in."

"It was like it was happening all over again," Marissa whispered quietly.

"Hey, it's ok. You don't have…"

"I was just going to my locker, when he appeared with a gun. He was coming for me so I ran….and…and…"

Ryan released his arms from around her so he could see her properly. She was about to say something again, but it became too much as she leaned against the wall and sunk to the ground. Ryan sat down beside her.

"I'm sorry Ryan," she said as a tear slid down her cheek. Ryan grabbed her hand and held it tight.

"You don't have anything to be sorry about."

"Yes I do. I was so stupid. I feel like I've let everyone down."

"Look just promise me one thing." Marissa looked at him.

"Promise me that you'll get help."

"Okay," she whispered, nodding her head slightly, as she got lost in his eyes. He leaned forward and gently kissed her on the lips. He started to be taken over with passion as his lips met hers but he knew that now wasn't the time.

She could never understand how whenever Ryan kissed her everything was perfect. Just for those few seconds. Nothing like that had ever happened with Luke.

"Come on let's go inside. You look a wreck," he added lightly.

"Thanks," she said sarcastically, smiling. "You're not looking too good yourself," she said wiping a bit of blood off his lip.

"I think that's the first time I've ever been punched by a girl," he laughed putting his hand up to his lip.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," she said suddenly feeling guilty, looking at the ring on her finger which had collided with his face.

"I'll forgive you. I think I might just manage to live."

Marissa hit him playfully on the arm as he stood up. He held out his hand as he helped her to her feet. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and took her back inside.

* * *

Seth walked over and flopped onto the couch beside Summer. He rested his hand on her thigh.

"You ok?"

"I don't think I'm the one you should be worried about right now."

"She's been through this sort of thing before."

"That just makes it worse not better," Summer sighed loudly.

"I know what will make you feel better."

"Cohen I'm not going to make out with you. Your parents are in the kitchen."

"Not that. Though if you want…." He started to slide his hand up her thigh. Summer slapped it off.

"Ooww!"

"Get your pervy hand off me. What were you going to say?"

"Well I was going to say strawberry milk, but now I think I need some ice," he said clutching his hand.

"God Cohen. You're such a wimp."

"Be that as it may, my hand does look kind of blue."

"Umm, that's your veins," Summer said patting his knee. She stood up and walked to the kitchen. Seth lifted his hand up and studied it, frowning.

* * *

"Did you really expect her to run up to you and hug you and say "Sure daddy! I'd love to go and see a therapist!"?" Julie asked Jimmy angrily.

"Look, I don't feel good about this but we agreed it's for the best."

"Guys just give her some time," Kirsten said.

They all looked over as the front door shut. Kirsten couldn't help but smile when she noticed how Ryan had his arm protectively around Marissa. Julie rushed over and hugged Marissa.

"Oh honey. I'm so sorry for dumping all this on you. But I really do just want what's best for you," Jimmy cleared his throat and Julie rolled her eyes. "_We_ want what's best for you."

"I know. And that's why I'm going to get help."

"You are?" Jimmy asked in surprise.

"Yeah. I mean what have I got to lose."

Ryan stepped back to let Jimmy hug her. Kirsten smiled at Ryan proudly. Marissa was lucky to have him. She walked over to Marissa and handed her a tissue when she noticed her tear stained face.

"Here."

"Thanks," she said smiling at Kirsten.

Seth walked over to Summer and put his arm around her waist.

"Hey Ryan. How've you got blood on your lip?" Seth asked smirking. Ryan looked at Marissa who looked down blushing.

"Seriously!" Seth laughed in disbelief.

"It was an accident," Ryan replied seriously.

"Uh huh," Seth said with a grin on his face. "Did you hear that Summer? Chino got hit by a girl!" Seth nudged Summer and looked over at her still grinning. Summer folded her arms and looked back at him, not amused.

"Come on kiddo let's get you home," Jimmy said putting his arm around his shoulder.

"You gonna be okay?" Ryan asked Marissa quietly. She gently nodded her head. He quickly leaned in and kissed her lightly on the lips.

"Go out to the car. I'll be there in a minute," Jimmy said gently to Marissa. He turned to Ryan as Marissa walked out to the car.

"I really can't thank you enough. Getting her to agree. I just…"

"It's fine. Really."

"Thanks for letting me do this," Jimmy said to Sandy and Kirsten.

"Whatever you or Marissa need we're here to help," Sandy replied reassuringly.

Jimmy nodded and walked out the door to the car. Jimmy smiled to himself. He knew it wasn't over yet but hopefully this was the beginning of the end of a long struggle. Though he knew only too well that it doesn't do to dwell on hopes and dreams.


	23. Let It All Out

Chapter 23: Let It All Out  


Marissa got up and paced the waiting room.

"Hey, come on sit down," Jimmy said patting the seat beside him. "Everything's going to be fine."

Marissa looked at her dad unconvinced but sat down again. They sat in silence until Marissa started tapping her foot. She didn't know why she was so nervous. She had done it before, which she realised was not something to be proud of. She felt a hand rest on her leg to stop it from shaking. She looked at her dad, who she realised actually looked slightly amused at how nervous she was.

"Hey, don't be so nervous," he said with a smile.

"Sorry but going to see a therapist isn't exactly my favourite past time." He clasped her hand in his and held it tightly.

"I met up with her the other day to organise your appointments and she seems really nice."

"Dad!" Marissa said as she saw a sparkle in his eye.

"Not like that. I just mean she seemed umm, you know, helpful."

"Uh huh," she said, not convinced. She would love it if her dad met someone, though she would definitely rather it wasn't her therapist.

"Marissa Cooper?"

Marissa looked up at an attractive blonde woman in her mid thirties.

"Yeah," she said as her and Jimmy stood up.

"Hi. We already met," Jimmy said shaking her hand.

"Oh yes. Mr cooper."

"Jimmy," he said smiling. Marissa rolled her eyes.

"Jimmy. I'm Dr Lawrence," she said holding her hand out to Marissa. "I'm guessing you're Marissa," she said shaking her hand. Marissa nodded and smiled. "Well come in," she guided them both into her room and indicated for them to sit on two chairs at a desk opposite her.

"So, Marissa. I've been reading up on your file. I'm just going to start with telling you what the programs going to be like okay?"

"Yeah," Marissa replied, feeling herself start to relax.

"Basically there's a session of 12 hourly appointments. The first few will be each week, but then we'll gradually have bigger gaps until you don't have to come back."

"Is it always 12 or can it be more or less?" Jimmy asked.

"Well 12 is the usual but it is different for each case. During the hour I'll be here to talk to, to listen to give advice. You can either be alone or you can have your dad here or some-one else say a friend or a boyfriend who you think might be able to help you get through something. Now," Dr Lawrence clasped her hands together on the desk as she took a more serious tone. "Your dad here has told me of recent events and that you haven't been able to open up to anyone about what happened. Today I would like to talk with you about what happened."

"Okay," Marissa said shakily.

"Now would you rather your father stayed or left?"

"Umm," she looked at her dad. She really didn't know what she wanted.

"I'll tell you what. How about you and I talk together then I'll have a chat with your dad?"

"Yeah," Marissa said weakly. Jimmy leaned over and held her hand.

"I'll be just outside okay?" Marissa nodded. He kissed her head and left the room, gently closing the door behind him.

"Okay Marissa I've looked through your file but why don't you tell me a bit about yourself."

"Ummm."

"Like what do you like to do in your free time?"

"Uh, I go out with my friends."

"Boyfriend?"

"Yeah, Ryan."

"And how is it between you guys?"

"It's good actually. We seem to spend most of the time breaking up and getting back together, but just now everything's fine."

"How about school? I looked at your grades in your file. Seem to be pretty good, and social chair I see," she said smiling. Marissa nodded and smiled weakly.

"Must be a lot of work."

"Yeah, but I enjoy it. And I get help."

"And what about your parents? Their divorce?"

Marissa looked down at her hands. She didn't really want to talk about that.

"Hey, don't worry. I know how you feel. My parents broke up when I was 15. I remember locking myself in my room and I wouldn't speak to either of them. I was just so angry. Angry at them, myself." Marissa still didn't say anything. Dr Lawrence opened the file. "Was that the reason for what happened in Tijuana?"

Marissa felt her chest tighten. She hated dredging old memories back up.

"Sort of," she mumbled.

"It's okay. What I really want to talk about is what happened to you last week. I know about your attack. So do you want to tell me what happened the day you went back to school? Remember I'm just here to listen and help."

"You'll probably think I was really stupid."

"Try me." Marissa looked up at her and took a deep breath. "Just take your time."

"It was my first day back at school after the attack. I drove in and told my friends that I would meet them at the front of the school. When I got there everyone was just staring at me. I guess things don't stay secret for long in this town. I started to panic and my heart started to beat faster and faster, so I ran to my locker. I was fumbling around with my books when I felt a hand on my shoulder."

She closed her eyes as she felt it happening again.

"It's okay. I know it's difficult." She felt a hand resting on hers. She opened her eyes and saw Dr Lawrence looking her calmly. Marissa took another deep breath and started again.

"When I felt the hand on my shoulder everything came flooding back. When I turned I saw the face of one of my attackers but then suddenly it was just another student. I frantically picked up all my books. When I stood up he was standing a bit away amongst students holding a gun."

"Here," Dr Lawrence handed Marissa a tissue. She wiped tears off her face.

"He started coming towards me so I ran. I got to my car and drove out of school," Marissa swallowed and wiped away more tears.

"It's okay. Take your time," Dr Lawrence filled up a cup of water from a dispenser and handed it to Marissa.

"Thanks," she sat back down and watched as Marissa gathered her courage again. She had seen so many people but Marissa's case had really caught her attention. No one should ever have to go through anything she had. Never mind a 17 year old kid. That's all she was after all. Any innocence she might have had left had just been snatched away from her.

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"So where did you drive to?"

"I went to this life guard stand. I go there a lot to just think."

"What were you thinking that day?"

"To be honest I don't remember. I was all over the place."

"So how long did you stay there for?"

"Not long. Only about half an hour. I was afraid I would see someone I knew. I couldn't face seeing anyone. After that I drove out to one of those diners off the motorway. I ordered coffee and sat in a booth in the corner. No one bothered me as long as I kept ordering coffee. I can't remember how long I sat there for. It must have been hours though. I eventually left and drove around for a while. I stopped at this store. What I did next was so stupid. I don't know why I did it. I went in and bought a pack of cheap vodka. I didn't get asked for ID or anything. I just left the store and drove off. I started drinking some of the vodka while I was driving. I don't know what I was thinking. I…I wasn't thinking. I drove to a cliff and parked the car. I got out of the car and just broke down. I sat down and cried. Right then I felt like just giving up. I sat there as it grew dark. I finished a bottle of vodka and moved straight onto another. By the time Ryan and Sandy found me I had pretty much finished that bottle too. When Ryan shouted at me I felt horrible. One thing I never wanted to do was hurt Ryan. And when I slipped off the cliff and he was holding on to me I told him I didn't want to die. But that wasn't true. If he hadn't got there I don't know what might have happened. I don't know why I couldn't tell anyone. I just…I just felt like I had already hurt them enough. I ….I couldn't do that to them."

Marissa let herself go as tears cascaded down her cheeks. She felt an arm rest around her shoulder. She rested her head on Dr Lawrence's shoulder.

"It's okay. Just let it all out."

* * *

"Mr Cooper?" Dr Lawrence looked around the empty waiting room. Jimmy came striding in.

"Sorry, I'm not so good at the whole sitting and waiting thing. So what's going on?"

"Well she told me everything. She was pretty upset but she's calmed down now."

"I don't understand why she could talk to you but not me or anyone else close to her."

"Come with me. I'd like to have a chat with you." She showed Jimmy into another room. "I gave Marissa a magazine and told her I was going to talk with you."

"So what happened to her that day?"

"Well…"

Jimmy looked at her trying to register everything she had just told him.

"I wish she could have talked to me."

"I think she loves you too much to tell you."

"I don't understand. Surely that would make her want to come to me."

"She just didn't want to hurt you anymore. And well she was scared. It's pretty normal for her to want to block out everything that happened."

"You really don't know how much I appreciate what you've done."

"We've got a long way to go, but she's strong. She's going to be fine." They both stood up.

"Thank-you Dr Lawrence," He said shaking her hand.

"Zoe."

"Zoe," he said smiling at her.

* * *

Jimmy opened the door.

"Kiddo?" She turned to look at him. For the first time in a while Jimmy saw a sparkle of hope in her eyes. She got up and rushed over to him. She threw her arms around him.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too kiddo," he closed his eyes and buried his face in her hair.

"I'm so glad you're here," Marissa whispered.

"Where else would I be?"

Zoe stood at the doorway. She looked at the ground and smiled. She left them alone and headed for the front desk.

"Here's your appointment card for next time – same time next week."

"Thanks Zoe."

"No problem," she said smiling. Marissa raised her eyebrows when he called her Zoe. "See you next week."

"Bye."

"Bye."

* * *

"Umm, dad?" Marissa asked as they got into the car.

"Yeah?"

"You wouldn't by any chance just have been hitting on my therapist."

"Now would I ever do that?" Marissa looked at him. "Don't answer that."

They sat in silence as Jimmy pulled out of the car park.

"I just want to say thank-you."

"For what kiddo?"

"For getting me to do this. I know I've got a long way to go but I'm ready."

"It's not just me you should be thanking. We should stop by the Cohen's. Ryan will be wanting to see you." Jimmy glanced sideways at Marissa. "Everything's going to be okay now." Marissa looked at her dad.

"Yeah. Let's just hope it lasts this time."

* * *

Please Review! It makes me very happy. 


	24. Victory Lap

It might be a while before I update again as I haven't got anymore written up yet and I have school exams and work piling up. Please review and let me know what you think. Thanks to summerdreams19 and IiI Elise IiI for your reviews, really appreciate it and glad you like it.

Chapter 24: Victory Lap

"Hey guys," Sandy said answering the door to Jimmy and Marissa. "Come on in. Ryan and Seth are on the playstation," he said to Marissa. She went to go and find them.

"Oh, hey Marissa."

"Hey, Kirsten," she said passing her. She heard Kirsten greet Jimmy in the background. Marissa walked up behind the couch that Ryan and Seth were sitting on, completely engrossed in their game. She crept over and placed her hands over Ryan's eyes.

"Guess who."

Ryan dropped his controller and turned around. His face immediately lit up when he saw her. He jumped up and half clambered over the couch. They leaned together and kissed passionately, roaming around each others mouths.

"Ah hah! Game over! I believe that calls for a victory lap for "Death Breath Seth"!"

Ryan suddenly stopped kissing Marissa and turned around. He looked at his characters mangled body then shrugged his shoulders. He turned back to Marissa and picked up where he had left off. There were definitely more important things than video games. She giggled as he put his arms around her waist. He started to clamber back over the couch which he was straddling the back of, whilst kissing Marissa's neck.

"Ryan," she laughed as he started to pull her with him.

"I might go and take that victory lap now," Seth said, jumping off the couch as he saw what was coming. Ryan fell back onto the couch as Seth got off, pulling Marissa down on top of him.

"You know I could have just walked around," she said, her face inches away from his.

"Yeah, but that definitely wouldn't have been as fun," he said with a cheeky grin.

"As fun as this?" she leaned down to him and let her lips collide with his. It got more passionate, neither of them caring that their parents were just in the other room. Ryan let his hands roam under her top, as they continued to kiss frantically.

"Mmm," Marissa said between kisses. "I think we should take this somewhere more private."

"Good plan," Ryan said kissing her quickly. "Wait, do you want to talk about what happened today?" he asked seriously.

"I've done enough talking for one day," she jumped off him and took his hand as they walked casually to the pool house.

* * *

Seth jogged into the kitchen where Sandy, Kirsten and Jimmy were all chatting.

"Seth? What are you doing?" Kirsten asked looking at him strangely.

"Victory lap." She looked at him blankly. "I just killed Ryan's character on "City War 7"."

"7?" Kirsten said in disbelief.

"Now I don't want you to think that it is a rare occurrence that I beat him. Ryan just seems to have a particular skill in games which involve stealing cars. Not sure why," he added sarcastically.

"Hey," Sandy said warningly.

"Plus, Ryan and Marissa were making out on the couch."

"Seth!" Kirsten said in surprise.

"Oh sorry. What do you want me to say? Romping?"

"Seth Ezekial!"

"That's the cue for the continuation of my victory lap," he said running to the stairs before his mom could say anything else.

"Well he's certainly a unique kid," Jimmy said laughing.

"That he is," Sandy said. "Wouldn't have him any other way."

"Well apart from maybe his snide remarks about my cooking," Kirsten said.

"Oh no, I think I'll keep that the same," Sandy said laughing while Kirsten folded her arms and glared at him.

"Well if there was anything that I could change about Marissa it would be to give her a simpler life."

Kirsten unfolded her arms and looked at Jimmy sympathetically.

"She seemed pretty happy just now," Sandy reassured him.

"The question is how long will it last?" Jimmy said.

"So how did it go today?" Kirsten asked him.

"Better than I expected actually. She told Zoe everything."

"Zoe?" Kirsten said, smirking at the glint in Jimmy's eye.

"Dr Lawrence," he said to Kirsten, pointedly.

"Well that's great that it went well," Sandy said.

"Yeah, I spoke to Dr Lawrence," he looked at Kirsten as he emphasised Dr Lawrence, "after and she told me everything. I guess that when she went to school…"

"You don't have to tell us if you don't want to," Kirsten said gently knowing it would be difficult.

"You guys deserve to know, especially after everything Sandy did. Plus she loves you. She would want you to know."

* * *

Ryan rolled over on top of Marissa. He was just wearing his jeans, his t shirt thrown to the side. He lowered himself down and kissed her as she ran her hands through his hair.

"I seem to be the only one who has lost any clothes here," he said suggestively sliding her top up to show bare skin. He moved down and kissed her bare, tanned stomach. She wriggled around under him and started to laugh.

"You like that?" he asked moving back up to her face.

"Ticklish," she said smiling. He started kissing her neck as he slid his hand under her top. He moved back to her lips as they kissed frantically, the passion heating up every second. Marissa let Ryan slide her top over her head as they continued to kiss urgently. Ryan looked at her perfect body before she grabbed his face and brought it back to hers. They sat up still kissing. Ryan started kissing her neck again as he reached around her back for her bra strap and she fumbled to undo his belt. Marissa slipped out of her bra as Ryan unzipped his jeans, never losing eye contact. Marissa fell back and pulled Ryan with her. She moaned gently as Ryan left a trail of kisses along her collarbone and to her breasts as he undid the button on her mini skirt. She reached to finish unzipping his jeans as they continued to attack each others mouths. Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"Hey it's Kirsten," the voice said through the door.

Ryan's eyes widened as he jumped off Marissa.

"Ummm. One sec," Ryan shouted back. Marissa grabbed her top and threw it over her head. Ryan went to get his t shirt, tripping over the bed covers and falling with a crash to the floor. He struggled into his t shirt and did up his fly, as Marissa flattened her hair and answered the door.

"Hey Kirsten," she said as casually as possible.

"Hey," she replied glancing past Marissa to Ryan who was sitting on the bed, his hair sticking on end, clearly trying not to look guilty. Ryan saw something out of the corner of his eye on the bed. He casually got up picking up Marissa's bra with one hand and hiding it behind his back as he walked to join Marissa at the door.

"Just to let you know that we've ordered in some Thai."

"Is my dad still here?"

"Yeah, he's inside with Sandy."

Kirsten looked at Ryan and Marissa pretending she didn't know what was going on and hadn't seen what Ryan had picked up off the bed. She was pretty sure that they knew she knew what they were up to.

"Right well we'll be over in a few minutes," Ryan said breaking the awkward silence.

"Okay," Kirsten said smiling as Marissa closed the door. She smiled and shook her head as she heard Marissa laughing at Ryan. She was just so glad to see Marissa happy.

Marissa flopped down on to the bed on her back.

"You really need to get some sort of warning system." Ryan lay down beside her.

"You forgot this," Ryan said smiling, holding out Marissa's bra. She sat up and grabbed it off him.

"Oh God! Did she see it?" Marissa asked in surprise.

"Yeah probably, seen as my casual slipping of it behind my back wasn't quite as casual as I wanted it to be."

"Well with your hair sticking up like that…" Ryan sheepishly flattened his hair down. "Oh, and your belt."

Ryan looked down at his undone belt.

"I think it's safe to say that she definitely knew what was going on," Ryan said.

"Yeah, well it was worth it."

"Definitely," Ryan said moving towards her again. She put her fingers on his lips to stop him.

"As much as I would love to, I think we are expected somewhere," she said getting up.

"Mmm," Ryan groaned. He watched as she started to take her top off to put her bra back on.

"Hey, no watching."

"Oh, come on," he said. She just looked at him. "Fine," he said getting up from the bed, unimpressed. When she turned away he turned back and watched as he did up her bra and put her top back on. She turned around and saw him watching her.

"Hey!" she said smiling.

"Sorry. Couldn't help myself." Marissa slid her shoes on and checked her makeup as Ryan sorted his hair out. She took his hand and opened the door. She stopped when she noticed something.

"Uhh, you're belt," she said smirking at him.

"Oh," he said in surprise doing it up.

"Unless you want Sandy, Seth and my dad to know as well."

"Let's just keep it to Kirsten."

She took his hand again and they walked over to the house.

* * *

"Oh! Oh!" Sandy said getting louder and louder as he attacked the playstation controller. Seth looked on in shock at how bad Jimmy and Sandy were.

"And I thought I was bad at this game," Seth said in shock.

"Hey, I'm good," Sandy said in defence. "I just killed a guy."

"Yeah. He was one of your guys," Seth said.

"He was?" Sandy said in surprise and mortification, looking at Seth.

"Game over!" Jimmy said proudly, slamming his control on the ground looking very pleased with himself.

"What!" Sandy said in shock. "Seth!" he said annoyed, hitting him on the arm.

"Aahhh! Child abuse!" Seth shouted shielding his face with his arms. Kirsten shook her head and took a sip of wine.

"Hey," Marissa said happily as her and Ryan walked in.

"Oh, hey kiddo," Jimmy said smiling.

"Uh, Ryan. Why's your t shirt on back to front?" Seth smirked as Ryan looked down and Marissa looked at him, both of them blushing.

"I'll be right back," Ryan said, letting go of Marissa's hand and rushing back to the pool house.

"Guess the couch wasn't the only place they were romping," Seth said under his breath. Marissa's eyes widened in shock and embarrassment as she looked at Seth.

"Seth!" Kirsten and Sandy shouted at the same time.

"Marissa, why don't you come and help me with drinks in the kitchen," Kirsten said, sensing Marissa's embarrassment. She threw daggers at Seth as she followed Marissa to the kitchen.

* * *

"Ignore him," Kirsten told her.

"I'm sorry. You know for…." Marissa said blushing slightly again.

"Don't worry about it. I was 17 once too you know."

"Were you not with my dad when you were 17?" Marissa asked as Kirsten got out some glasses. Kirsten looked at Marissa not quite expecting her to say that.

"Uh sorry," Marissa said as Kirsten looked at her.

"No, no, it's fine. I loved him back then. I still do, not in that way though obviously. You know you and Jimmy mean a lot to me and Sandy."

"Thanks," Marissa said sincerely. Kirsten smiled at her warmly and handed her two beer glasses.

"Could you fill these with beer for Sandy and Jimmy. There should be a couple of cans in the fridge."

"Sure," Marissa said taking the glasses.

"So, Jimmy was telling me and Sandy that today went quite well."

"As well as it can go."

"Well you seem much happier."

"Yeah. I guess I needed to get it all off my chest."

"He told us what happened that day. I just thought you should know," Kirsten watched as Marissa poured a beer. "I hope it's alright that he told us."

"Yeah you guys deserve to know after all you've done for me. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you myself I just…."

"You don't need to explain it," she reached over and placed her hand on Marissa's. "Just concentrate on getting better." Marissa nodded as Kirsten gently squeezed her hand and went back to the drinks.

"The doctor sounds nice," Kirsten said. "Did Jimmy say her name is Zoe?"

"Yeah. Zoe Lawrence. Dad got on first name terms with her pretty quickly," Marissa said smiling.

"Well he deserves to meet someone nice, though his daughter's therapist probably isn't the best choice," Kirsten said smiling as Marissa laughed.

"Oh, that must be the food," Kirsten said as the doorbell rang. She handed Marissa a tray. "Could you take the drinks through?"

"Yeah sure."

"Thanks sweetie."

"No problem." Marissa started putting the drinks on the tray.

"It's okay. I'll get it," Kirsten shouted over to the couch where she could see the tops of Sandy, Jimmy and Seth's heads.

"Thanks honey," Sandy shouted.

"Marissa's in the kitchen getting drinks," Kirsten said to Ryan who was hovering beside them watching Seth and Jimmy play a game. He headed to the kitchen.

* * *

Marissa picked up one of the beer cans. She felt some in the bottom and tipped it back into her mouth.

Ryan was about to say something when he saw Marissa taking a swig of beer. He sighed knowing that the problems weren't over. Marissa hadn't seen him, so he walked in pretending he hadn't seen anything.

"Hey, you need any help," he asked cheerfully. He noticed Marissa flinch and quickly throw the beer cans in the bin.

"Uh, no, I'm ok thanks," she said smiling. "Kirsten will probably need help with the food though. Knowing Seth he will have ordered most of the menu."

"Okay," Ryan said, quickly kissing Marissa on the lips. She bit her lip as Ryan went to help Kirsten. She closed her eyes and sighed. She straightened herself up and carried the drinks through.

"Who wants a drink?" She asked cheerfully putting the tray down.

* * *

"Ah, Ryan. I'm glad to see there is one gentleman in the house," Kirsten said handing him some of the food to carry. Ryan smiled at her.

"Can I talk to you?"

"Yeah, sure. What's up? Thanks," she smiled at the delivery guy and handed him money.

"It's about Marissa." Kirsten closed the door and looked at him.

"She seems really happy."

"That's just it. She _seems_ happy."

"What's the problem?"

"Well we were just having a great time in the pool house and then when I went into the kitchen a minute ago I saw her taking a drink of beer. It was like she changed for a second. I know you're mom battled with alcohol…"

"Ryan Marissa's hardly an alcoholic," Kirsten said bluntly.

"She drinks more than anyone realises."

"Look she's seeing a therapist now. Let's just have a good time tonight," she smiled at Ryan and walked away. Ryan watched her go. He sighed and looked up to the ceiling. He had seen the flash of fear and anger that appeared in her eyes when she lifted the can to her mouth. He just hoped he wasn't the only one who could see it.

"Hey man. You coming?" He looked over at Seth.

"Sorry, yeah."

Maybe Kirsten was right. They should just have a good time. He would try to anyway.

* * *

Please review! The next few chapters will be transition chapters for the drama that's approaching. Keep reading to find out! 


	25. Interrupted

Chapter 25: Interrupted

"Hey Seth, are you ready?" Ryan shouted, slinging his school bag over his shoulder.

"Mmmm," Seth said his head stuck in a comic book. Sandy walked behind him and grabbed it out of his hands.

"Wo! Wo! Don't rip it!" Seth said panicking. "It just came this morning. It's the new…."

"I don't care. School. Now."

Seth gave up and picked up his bag as Sandy put the comic on the worktop and picked up his coffee. Before Sandy knew what was happening Seth sprinted back in, grabbed the comic, and sprinted out again.

"Hey!" Sandy shouted.

"See you later," Seth shouted back.

"Seth…," Sandy gave up and shrugged his shoulders, taking another mouthful of coffee. He turned to the worktop and lay the newspaper down. He started flicking through the pages when he felt arms around his waist.

"Morning," he said, as Kirsten kissed his ear.

"Morning gorgeous," she said smiling as Sandy turned round.

"Oh, good morning," he said, grinning cheekily. Kirsten rested her arms casually round his neck and kissed him deeply.

"Mmmm. Someone's in a good…." Kirsten put her fingers on his lips.

"No talking." Sandy willingly obliged and kissed her again. Kirsten started loosening his tie as they carried on kissing when her cell started ringing.

"Hmphg," she groaned leaning her head on his chest. "I knew it was too good to be true." She looked at her phone. "Ugh, it's my dad."

"Don't answer it," Sandy said, placing a kiss on her forehead, her nose, then her lips.

"Mmmm," I really need to take this." She flipped her phone open. "Hey dad," she said trying to sound happy to hear from him. "I'm alright." Sandy watched as she frowned. "Why are you telling me this? ….A woman's point of view? this have waited until I saw you at work?...Well I'll be there soon…Okay…Bye."

"What was that about?"

"He's surprising Julie with a trip to Paris and he wanted to know if I thought he should do it over dinner at home or at the Archers."

"That was it?" Sandy asked, annoyed that they had been interrupted over something so pointless.

"Yup."

Kirsten kissed Sandy again when his phone went off. They both groaned.

"Hello? Oh, Inspector Trueman." Kirsten frowned at him. "I could come by later….Yeah 12 sounds good. Ok…I'll see you then. Bye."

"What's going on?" Kirsten asked him, concerned.

"That was Inspector Trueman. He said they're struggling to find any leads on Marissa's case."

"Are you going to tell her?"

"No. Not yet anyway. She doesn't need to deal with that right now. It just makes me so angry!" he said clenching his fist. "Guys like this come and ruin an innocent, young girls life and just get away with it!"

"Hey, it's not over yet," Kirsten said massaging his shoulders.

"The way he was talking it might as well be."

"Well there's nothing you can do."

"That's the worst bit."

* * *

"Hey guys."

"Hey," Seth said putting his arm around Summer's shoulder.

"Oh, I need to go and see Dr Kim to get Marissa's locker code. I need to take her books to her."

"When's she coming back?" Seth asked her.

"In a couple of weeks. Her therapist said it would be good for her to stay at home for a bit before coming back to school seen as it didn't exactly go too well last time."

"That's the understatement of the century," Seth said.

"Well, I'll have to drop her books off later. We should all go. Just hang out."

"Yeah, sure," Seth and Ryan both replied.

"I'll see you guys later," she kissed Seth's cheek and walked away to Dr Kim's office.

Seth and Ryan grabbed coffees and sat on the couch. Seth took his comic book out of his bag and started to read it.

"I thought Sandy took that off you."

"You really think that would stop me? You still have a lot to learn when it comes to me and my comic books, my friend," Seth said lifting it up to his face.

"Well I know that you're obsessed."

"I am not obsessed," Seth said bringing it down from his face. Ryan just looked at him. "Okay maybe a little." Ryan raised his eyebrows. "Or a lot….Whatever. At least I have a hobby, unlike you."

"Comic book reading is hardly a hobby, and I do have hobbies."

"And what may these be?" Ryan was about to answer when Seth cut in. "Wifebeaters and making out with Marissa don't count." Ryan closed his mouth and frowned.

"Actually I do have one hobby that is really fun."

"What?" Ryan punched Seth on the arm.

"That!"

"Oww! I'll give you that."

"Thanks."

"No problem," Seth shifted along the couch, away from Ryan and stuck his head back in his comic book.

* * *

Sandy knocked on the door.

"Come in," a voice shouted from inside. Sandy walked in.

"Ah, Sandy Cohen," he shook his hand. "Please, sit," Inspector Truman indicated to a seat.

"What's going on?" Sandy asked him seriously.

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this case has pretty much ground to a halt. We don't have any witnesses and we've failed to trace any of Miss Cooper's belongings. I'm afraid there's not much else we can do."

"Well what about Marissa's descriptions of them?"

"They haven't been of much help. Miss Cooper was very unsure of their appearances, because of the trauma and everything that was happening. She wasn't even sure what colour the car was. I'm sorry Sandy but we've hit a brick wall."

"Thanks for everything you've done," Sandy said standing up. He shook the Inspector's hand.

"I really am sorry that we couldn't do anything more. I want more than anything to bring these losers to justice but there just doesn't seem to be any way."

"Well, let me know if anything comes up."

"Will do Sandy. I wouldn't hold your breath though." Sandy nodded grimly and left the room. He decided he would keep this off Marissa's radar. It was the last thing she needed.

* * *

"Hey guys," Marissa smiled widely when she saw Seth, Summer and Ryan standing at the door.

"Came to give you these," Summer handed her a pile of books.

"Oh thanks," Marissa said unenthusiastically. "Come on in." They moved in to the living area. "Anyone want a drink?"

"Yeah that would be great thanks," Seth said settling onto the couch.

"I'll help you Coop," Summer said glaring at Seth and following Marissa to the kitchen. Once Marissa left Ryan looked around the room and in cupboards. Seth looked at him weirdly.

"Uhh, I don't know if in Chino it's normal to rake round people's houses when they invite you in, but generally it's considered invasion of privacy."

"I'm just worried about her," Ryan said opening a cupboard door.

"What do you mean? She seems fine to me apart from being stuck in here all day."

"No I'm worried about how much she's drinking."

"I hardly think she's going to keep a stash in the living room."

"So you think she drinks a lot too?"

"I didn't say that. Don't you think that you're over reacting. That night on the cliff was a one off."

"There have been other times." Summer and Marissa walked back in carrying glasses of coke. Marissa handed one to Ryan, and kissed him on the lips. They kept kissing until Seth pretended to choke on his drink. They both turned and looked at him weirdly.

"Sorry, got caught in the back of my throat."

"So Coop did you miss school?" Summer asked sarcastically.

"Actually yeah. I'd much rather be at school with you guys instead of stuck in here all day."

"Where's your dad?" Ryan asked her.

"Out looking for a job."

"Hey, if he gets a job then you guys could move out of here and into one of those nice little houses on the beach."

"Yeah, I wouldn't count on it."

"Don't worry he'll find something."

"Can we talk about something else? How was school?"

"Good." She looked at Summer then to Ryan and Seth.

"Guys you don't have to be worried about me. Can we please just go back to normal."

"Normal, sure, yeah," they all said at once smiling fakely.

"Great," Marissa said with a real smile. "Who fancies watching a film?"

"Film, I love films," Summer replied a little too enthusiastically.

"Okay, I'll just go and get a few. I'll be right back."

She got off the couch and left the room.

"Man, that was _so _not smooth," Seth cringed.

"Come on guys, we have to really try. For Marissa," Summer said to them both.

Ryan knew she was right. What Marissa needed was for everything to be as normal as possible if she wanted to move on with her life. There was just one problem though. He couldn't get rid of the niggling feeling at the back of his mind that something was wrong.

* * *

Please Review! 


	26. Living a Lie

Chapter 26: Living a Lie

"Kiki!"

Kirsten choked on her coffee as she heard a high pitched squeal ring in her ears. Sandy and Kirsten looked at each other as their worst fears were confirmed when Julie came bounding into the kitchen.

"Julie, Cal, come on in," Sandy said sarcastically.

"Oh my gosh! Kiki, guess where I'm going!"

"Pluto?" Sandy said hopefully under his breath.

"Pardon?" Julie looked at him. Sandy looked up surprised that she had heard him.

"Don't know. I …I said don't know," Sandy said covering himself.

"Whatever." She turned back to Kirsten with a huge grin on her face. "Well?" Kirsten was about to reply when she was cut of by a huge squeal from Julie. "PARIS!" She produced a brochure and handed it to Kirsten, clapping her hands together with joy. "Can you believe it, Cal here is treating me to a whole week away in Paris! Who'd have known it?"

"I would never have guessed," Kirsten said sarcastically looking at her dad.

"Look at the pictures," Julie flicked the pages to show Kirsten. Caleb took out a mug and picked up the coffee pot.

"You using this?" he asked Sandy.

"Actually…"

"Good." Caleb poured it all into his mug.

"Go ahead," Sandy muttered.

"So when do you leave on this fantastic trip?" Sandy asked, over exaggerating.

"You only think it's fantastic because it means I'll be out of your hair for a week," Caleb said.

"It ceases to amaze me how this man can just read my mind!"

"Sandy," Kirsten warned.

"He's the one that said it!"

"So when is it you leave?" Kirsten asked before it went any further.

"In two weeks – 20th October."

"So soon?" Kirsten asked surprised.

"No better time like the present. Talking about the present we need to go and sort out our insurance." Caleb handed Sandy his half drunk mug of coffee. "Thanks Sandford."

"We'll have to go shopping for me sometime," Julie said to Kirsten.

"We will?"

"Of course! It is Paris. I need to fit in." She kissed Kirsten's cheek. "Bye. Sandy," she nodded in his direction.

"Julie."

"I'll see you later Kiks," Caleb said hugging Kirsten and kissing her cheek.

"Bye."

"Why is it that every time those two come to visit I am always left standing here as though 10 minutes of my life have just been snatched away from me."

"Don't be so dramatic Sandy. I think it's very romantic that my dad's taking her to Paris. How come you never do that?"

"I don't need to buy you things or fly across the world to show that I love you. I can do that right here," Sandy said kissing Kirsten.

"Hmmm, I suppose I could let you off, though I think you owe me at least a romantic dinner."

"I think I might just be able to manage that," he said kissing her again.

"I'm glad to hear it." She smiled as she leaned to him and kissed him again.

* * *

"Okay, bye."

Jimmy walked in as Marissa hung up the phone.

"Who was that?"

"Mom."

"What'd she want?"

"It seems that Caleb has surprised her with a trip to Paris for a week."

"Good luck to him," Jimmy said laughing.

"She gave me the dates and the number of her hotel. I don't even speak to her when we live in the same town. I don't know why she thinks I'm going to want to talk to her on the other side of the world."

"You know you should spend some time with her. She does love you."

"So I've been told."

"By who?"

"Ryan."

"Smart kid."

"Look if you want me out then just say it."

"What! I didn't mean that. It's just she's your mom, she should be a part of your life."

"My life is pretty good without her thanks," Marissa said going to her room. Jimmy sighed and rolled his eyes.

* * *

Marissa walked into her room and sat on her bed. She didn't know why she had just told her dad that her life was pretty good because she knew it was far from it. She looked over at her chest of drawers and frowned. She got up and opened the bottom drawer and took out a bottle of vodka from under her clothes. She sat back on her bed and looked at the bottle in her hands. She closed her eyes and unscrewed the blue lid. She lifted it too her mouth and gulped some down. She felt the burning sensation as the strong liquid made its way into her system. She didn't know why she drunk it anymore. It just seemed to be a ritual which allowed her to forget about everything.

"Hey Marissa, you want some toast," she heard her dad's voice call from the kitchen.

"Umm, yeah." She took another swig from the bottle before screwing the lid back on and burying it under her clothes. She stood up and straightened out her clothes. She decided that as long as no-one found out it would be fine. Though she knew deep down that she was kidding herself – sitting in her bedroom alone downing vodka was never going to be fine.

Jimmy set down a plate of toast on the table and sat down across from Marissa.

"So I've been looking for a job," Jimmy said as Marissa ate a bit of toast. "I haven't had any luck yet, but I don't want you to worry. I'll find something soon. We're going to be alright." Jimmy picked up a piece of toast and took a bite. "And you have to admit that I've gotten pretty good at making toast," he said as Marissa laughed at him.

"Oh," Marissa got up as the phone rang. "Hello? Yeah, I'll just get him. It's for you," she said holding the phone out to her dad.

"Thanks. Hello? Yeah this is he, who's speaking? Ross? Ross Hunter!" Marissa raised her eyebrows as he started to shout. "It must be what 15 years! No, that was my daughter Marissa. You must have met her when she was small. Yeah. So what have you been doing with your life? That sounds pretty good. Yeah. A reunion? Yeah, no that sounds great. It'll be amazing to see all the guys again. Wait a sec let me write this down," he disappeared into his room.

Marissa poured herself some orange juice when Jimmy walked back in.

"And old friend?" Marissa asked smiling.

"Yeah, I knew him from college. A group of old friends are having a gathering in New York."

"New York? Wow, that'll be cool."

"Yeah it'll be great. You can stay with your mom for the week, spend some time with her," Jimmy ignored Marissa's groans. "I better go and look for cheap flights on the web."

"When is it?" Jimmy looked at the piece of paper in his hands.

"Umm, 20th October." Marissa frowned. "What's wrong?"

"That date rings a bell. It doesn't matter."

"Right," Jimmy went to his room for the laptop." Marissa stood racking her brains. It suddenly came to her. She picked up a piece of paper from the worktop and looked at it. 20th – 27th October had been scrolled on it from when her mom had phoned her. She went in to her dad's room.

"That's the same time that mom's going to Paris."

"What?"

"Mom's away then," Marissa repeated.

"Oh well I better not go then. I can't leave you on your own."

"No go," Marissa noticed the disappointment in his voice. "I'll stay with Summer or the Cohen's."

"No it's fine. I'll stay."

"Dad, listen to me. You are going to New York whether you like it or not. I'll be fine."

"I'll go and talk to Sandy and Kirsten first."

"Well I'm going round to see Ryan. Come with me and talk to them."

* * *

"Oh hey Jimmy, Marissa. I didn't know we were expecting you."

"Yeah sorry to just drop in like this I just wanted to talk to you and Sandy."

"Sure, come on in," Kirsten said.

"Thanks," Marissa ran out to the pool house to find Ryan.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, I was just wanting a favour."

"You want something to drink?"

"Oh no thanks I'm fine."

"What do you need?"

"I got a phone call from an old college friend this morning. He's holding a reunion in New York on the 20th October for a few days which is when…"

"Julie and my dad are away."

"Yeah and I was wondering if…."

"Marissa could stay with us."

"It's fine if she can't. I can just miss the reunion…"

"Hey, hey. Don't give it another thought. We'd be more than happy to have her."

"Really?"

"She's a pleasure to have around. It'll be nice to have another female in the house," Kirsten said smiling.

"Thank you so much. I feel kind of weird leaving her though."

"Jimmy, she's not a little kid anymore and I'll be watching over her. You've got nothing to worry about."

* * *

"Ryan?" Marissa glanced around the pool house, when Ryan appeared from the bathroom in his trousers and no top.

"Hey," he said a smile forming on his face. He ran over to her, giving her a kiss. "Sorry I haven't quite finished getting dressed yet."

"Trust me, I don't mind," Marissa said resting her hands on his bare chest. She leaned towards him and they started to kiss passionately.

"I should really get dressed," he said between kisses.

"Or I could get undressed," Marissa mumbled as she kissed him.

"Now that I definitely wouldn't mind."

"Mmmm, wait," Marissa pulled away.

"What's wrong?"

"I just think we should save this for October 20th."

"What's happening on October 20th?" he asked confused.

"I'll probably be staying with you."

"Really?" Ryan asked sounding very pleased.

"My mom's going to Paris and my dad's having some reunion thing in New York so he's asking Sandy and Kirsten if I can stay here for the week."

"A whole week. We'll have to think of things to do."

"Well I know one thing that we can do." Ryan smiled and reached to wrap his arms around her waist, when she stepped back.

"But like I said that can wait for the 20th of October," she smiled as Ryan groaned. "It just means that it'll be even better when it comes. Come on get dressed. We should go see what Sandy and Kirsten have said."

* * *

"Hey guys," Kirsten smiled as Ryan and Marissa strolled in holding hands.

"Marissa, Kirsten and Sandy are very kindly letting you stay for the week."

"Oh, Thanks," Marissa walked over to Kirsten and hugged her.

"No problem. We're happy to have you."

"Come on Ryan let's go and find Seth," Marissa grabbed Ryan's hand and dragged him up the stairs.

"So how's the job search coming on?"

"Pretty much not coming on."

"You know I could talk to my dad about getting you a job at the Newport Group."

"Thanks, but I would really rather not work with your father."

"Jimmy you can't pick and choose. You can't go on without a job forever."

"Trust me I know. I want more than anything to get a job, to make Marissa proud of me."

"Have you talked about it to her?"

"She knows I'm looking for a job but she doesn't know about the problems I'm having. I don't want to worry her, not with everything else that's going on."

"There's something you should know."

"What's wrong?"

"Sandy got a call from Inspector Trueman. He went to see him and I'm afraid it's not good news. They haven't been able to find anything on Marissa's case."

"So you mean they're giving up?" Jimmy asked getting angry.

"I'm sorry Jimmy, but they've done everything they can." Kirsten looked at Jimmy, worried as he clenched his jaw and his fists.

"I can't believe these jerks are getting away with ruining her life."

"What did you just say?"

Jimmy and Kirsten turned around shocked to see Marissa walking towards them, with Ryan and Seth just behind her.

"I'm so sorry kiddo," Jimmy said standing up.

"I don't understand," Marissa said, tears forming in her eyes. "They're just getting away with it?"

"The police don't have anything to go on."

A tear rolled down Marissa's cheek. One thing that was keeping her almost sane was the fact that they were going to get caught. It was always when not if, but now it was never.

"What if they come back?"

"They're not going to come back."

"You don't know that," Marissa said as another tear rolled down her cheek. She suddenly frowned. "You weren't going to tell me were you?"

"Of course I was sometime. I just didn't want to upset you."

"Well congratulations, you've done really well," she said sarcastically, as more tears fell from her eyes. Jimmy walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her. He expected her to fight him off, but she gave up burying her head in him as her tears soaked through his top. "I just thought it would all be over soon," Marissa sobbed clinging on to her dad.

"Don't worry kiddo. You're safe," Jimmy said quietly, gently rubbing her back. "Nothing's going to happen to you."………..

Please Review!


	27. Midnight Runin

Chapter 27: Midnight Run-in

"Honey, can you get that," Jimmy shouted to Marissa as the doorbell rang.

"Mom, what are you doing here?"

"I came to say goodbye," she walked past Marissa through the door

"Where's your father?"

"He's packing," she replied bluntly.

"Hmm. This place is very …homely. I don't see why you don't stay with me and Cal."

"It's not the house that matters, it's the people inside it," Marissa said coldly glaring at her mom.

"Julie what a nice surprise," Jimmy said sarcastically.

"I just came to say goodbye to Marissa." A car horn beeped loudly from outside.

"You better hurry up. Wouldn't want to keep Cal waiting." Julie glared at Jimmy. She hugged Marissa and kissed her cheek. "Now remember you have the number if you need to get in touch."

"I'll see you when I get back. Jimmy."

"Julie."

"Bye honey."

"Bye."

"Well have you got your stuff ready to take to the Cohen's?"

"Yeah, it's in my room."

"Okay, we'll be leaving in about 10 minutes."

"Okay." Marissa went to her room. She zipped up her suitcase that was sitting on her bed. She frowned and went into her drawer, lifting out the bottle of vodka. Ever since she had found out that her attackers wouldn't be brought to justice, she had started to drink more. She had never even considered that they wouldn't be found out. She unscrewed the lid and tipped the bottle into her mouth. Just as she screwed it up her dad walked in, she quickly threw it on her bad and sat on it.

"Hey, just checking that you're ready."

"Uhuh, yeah," Marissa said as she felt her cheeks burning.

"You ok?" Marissa smiled and nodded. "You know I don't have to go."

"Dad please. I'll be fine."

"Right, the cab should be here any minute."

"Okay." As soon as her dad left she jumped off the bed and picked up the bottle. She stood there holding it for a second not sure what to do. She suddenly unzipped her suitcase and stuffed it in. She raked around her drawer and pulled out another two bottles burying them under her clothes in the suitcase. She sighed and noticed her hands shaking. Her life was a mess and she knew it, but she just didn't know what to do.

* * *

Jimmy leaned across the seats in the back of the cab and kissed Marissa's cheek.

"I'll see you in a week. Have a good time, and if you need anything just phone."

"Yep. I love you," Marissa said to Jimmy.

"Love you too kiddo." Marissa got out the car and closed the door. She took her suitcase off the driver. She blew a kiss and waved to her dad as the cab drew away. She felt so pathetic but she missed him already. Pulling out the handle on her suitcase she walked up the Cohen's drive.

"Hey sweetie," Kirsten said, opening the door to Marissa.

"Hey," Marissa gave Kirsten a quick hug and lifted her suitcase into the house. "Thanks for letting me stay. I really appreciate it."

"Oh it's no problem. What with Julie gallivanting around Paris and Jimmy in New York, we could hardly have you stay on your own." Marissa smiled at Kirsten as she closed the door. She really didn't know what she would do without the Cohens.

"So where do you want me?"

"I chucked Ryan into the guest room so that you can have the pool house to yourself."

"Thanks."

"And remember if you need anything I'm here, so just ask. Well I'll leave you to it."

Marissa picked up her suitcase and headed for the pool house passing Ryan and Seth on the play station.

"Hi."

"Ymphfgh," they both grunted to her.

"Ignore them," Marissa turned and looked at Sandy. "They've been at it all afternoon. So has Kirsten told you where you're staying?"

"Yeah, I'm just on my way there now."

"Well don't let me get in your way."

She smiled at him and continued out to the pool house, smiling to herself as she heard Ryan and Seth shouting at Sandy for turning their game off. She couldn't understand the attraction of video games. Though one thing she did like the idea of was getting lost in a different world where your problems don't matter. As she sat down on the bed in the pool house she realised that she was part of the way there. She may not be in a different world and her problems still did matter, but one thing she was certain of was that she was lost. Even just sitting in the pool house things just didn't seem right. It always seemed that there was a piece of the jigsaw of her life missing. She knew that finding this piece was easier said than done. Maybe even impossible.

* * *

Sandy stood in front of Ryan and Seth with his hands on his hips.

"Come on guys. She has been through a rough time recently. The least you can do is welcome her properly." They both dumped their controls to the side. "That's better." Sandy took his hands off his hips and walked away. Seth and Ryan struggled up from the couch. As soon as they both managed to pull themselves up Ryan pushed Seth back down and casually walked away to the pool house.

"Well at least I was winning," Seth shouted from the couch.

"Oh, we'll soon see."

"What are they like," Kirsten smiled, resting her head on Sandy as they watched Seth trying to catch Ryan.

"She'll be ok, won't she?"

"Who?"

"Marissa."

"She's Julie Cooper's daughter, of course she'll be fine," Sandy said gently kissing the top of her head.

"No she's not. She's Jimmy Cooper's daughter." Which they both knew was a completely different matter.

* * *

Marissa put her suitcase on the bed and unzipped it as Seth and Ryan came stumbling through the door on top of each other.

"Hey," Seth panted.

"Hey," Marissa replied. Smirking at him. "So let me guess. Sandy turned the power off on your game." Seth and Ryan both looked down guiltily. "You know, you should really grow up from those computer games," Marissa said unpacking her suitcase. Seth and Ryan looked at each other, with a sparkle in their eyes.

"Did she just call our computer games childish?" Seth asked Ryan.

"Yeah I think she did." Marissa looked up as Seth and Ryan charged her onto the bed. Marissa grabbed a pillow and started hitting Ryan with it. Seth and Ryan grabbed pillows and started hitting her. Marissa couldn't help but laugh, as she ducked under Ryan and jumped off the bed.

"Woah," Marissa said still laughing.

"That was pretty much our way of saying welcome to the Cohen household and we hope you enjoy your stay." Seth said standing up. Ryan jumped off the bed and passionately kissed Marissa on the lips. "Yeah, ummm, that's Ryan's own welcoming stunt," Seth said awkwardly as Ryan and Marissa carried on kissing. "So I'm just gonna go now," Seth pointed out the door, "and let you get on with, ummm, yeah," he closed the door as Ryan and Marissa fell onto the bed

* * *

"Can you pass the gravy?" Kirsten asked Ryan, as they all sat at dinner.

"So Marissa how's the pool house?" Sandy asked.

"Oh it's great thanks."

"Don't worry dad, we gave her a warm welcome. Or at least Ryan did," Seth said with a wink, as Ryan and Marissa both looked down uncomfortably.

"Seth I've already told you. What happens between Ryan and Marissa is private," Kirsten said sternly.

"Well I feel there should never be any secrets if we all want to live long happy lives," Seth said defiantly.

"I think if we all knew the details of each others lives, we would want to kill each other not live in harmony," Sandy said laughing.

"So you're saying I don't know everything about you?" Kirsten asked him.

"Oh no. You know everything which is why I'm sure there are times you would like to kill me."

"I've had a few of those," Seth said as Kirsten kicked him under the table.

"Oww!"

* * *

Marissa carefully opened the patio doors not wanting to wake anyone. She turned the light on and rubbed her head. She opened a cupboard door and took out some aspirin.

"Oh hey sweetie," Kirsten said walking in, surprised to see Marissa.

"Hey," Marissa replied groggily as Kirsten got a glass from the cupboard. She looked over at Marissa and noticed the pills in her hand.

"What's wrong?" she looked at Marissa concerned.

"Oh, it's nothing. Just a headache."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, honestly. I'm fine."

Kirsten nodded as she filled her glass with water and started to drink. Marissa took out a glass as Ryan stumbled in still half asleep. He looked at them surprised to see them.

"I think this is the busiest this kitchen has ever been at…" Kirsten glanced at the clock on the oven "..3:15 am."

She smiled at Ryan as he dragged himself to get a glass as Marissa filled her glass and swallowed the aspirin. Marissa joined Kirsten leaning against the work top as Ryan went to the fridge for some orange juice.

"So what's kept you up?" Kirsten asked him.

"Seth," he said bluntly.

"How come?" Marissa asked.

"Last night he thought it would be good to have a bit of Seth/Ryan time and have a "manly chat". In the end he fell asleep on the floor. I don't think I've ever heard anyone talk so much in their sleep. He talks more than when he's awake, which I didn't think was possible."

"Just hit him," Kirsten told him.

"Oh I did but then he would try and talk to me awake.

"Tell him to shut up or to leave," Marissa suggested.

"I did that too but he said he was too tired to walk the two steps back to his room, so he fell back asleep and started mumbling again. It just keeps going in circles."

"I'm sorry for chucking you out your own room," Marissa said suddenly feeling guilty.

"Don't worry it's not your fault."

"Yeah, you're welcome here any time," Kirsten smiled at Marissa. "Well I'm off back to bed," Kirsten said putting her glass in the sink. "I hope your head feels better," she gently touched Marissa's shoulder.

"Thanks."

"Goodnight."

"Night," Ryan and Marissa both replied.

"She's great," Marissa said after Kirsten left.

"Yeah she's pretty cool," Ryan walked over to Marissa.

"You know sometimes she feels more like a mom to me than my own mom. I wish she was my mom or at least that my mom was more like her," Marissa said almost sadly. Ryan wrapped his arms around her waist, and she linked hers around his neck.

"We both know that I'm not your mom's biggest fan, but like I've said before she loves you."

"Yeah, sometimes I'm not so sure."

"Well even if she doesn't, I do," Ryan said before letting his lips gently touch hers. He deepened the kiss but suddenly stopped when he felt goose bumps on her arms.

"Hey, you feeling cold?"

"Well it is 3:20 in the morning – not the warmest time of day. But you know I know somewhere much warmer," she said suggestively, smiling at him.

"Do you now?" Ryan couldn't help but let a small smile escape his lips. Marissa nodded her head and bit her lip. She moved away from him and held out her hand. He grabbed it and they let their fingers intertwine as she led him out to the pool house.

She closed the door of the pool house and felt Ryan's arms wrap around her from behind.

"I hope you don't talk in your sleep," Ryan whispered into her ear.

"Who says I'm going to be sleeping?" she whispered back.

"Good answer," Ryan whispered pulling her with him onto the bed. "I love you," Ryan said quietly, his face inches away from hers as they lay on the bed. Ryan frowned as Marissa remained silent. "I'm going to choose not to be insulted by your lack of response," he said lightly. He gently stroked her face with his thumb when she still didn't say anything. "Hey, you okay?"

Marissa looked at him and before he knew what was happening she grabbed his head and attacked his mouth with hers, forcing his lips open with her tongue. He was about to say something but was taken over with passion as he pulled her body closer. He rolled over on top of her as they continued to kiss urgently. He grabbed the covers and pulled them over them as Marissa slid out of her top. The covers draped over them as they were shielded from all their problems.

* * *

Marissa struggled to open her eyes as she heard a gentle knock at the door. She rubbed her eyes and saw Kirsten standing in the door way with a cup of tea.

"Morning."

"Morning," Marissa mumbled still half asleep.

"I brought you tea," Kirsten walked over and sat on the edge of the bed handing her the cup.

"Thanks," Marisa started to sip the tea.

"How you feeling?"

"I'm fine since the aspirin – always does the trick."

"I mean about everything that has been going on recently. I know it hasn't been easy."

Marissa looked away as she felt tears threaten to fall.

"Marissa? Honey?" Marissa turned back and couldn't help but let a tear escape and roll gently down her cheek. "Oh sweetie." Kirsten moved closer and hugged her tightly. Marissa wrapped her arms around Kirsten as more tears fell from her eyes.

"Hey, come on. It's okay," Kirsten said gently. "So do you want to tell me what's wrong?" Marissa let go of Kirsten and wiped her eyes.

"I don't know. I mean I'm seeing the therapist now and that's great and everything but I'm still scared …. All the time…and I'm scared of disappointing everyone. I feel like I've dragged everyone into my messed up life."

"You didn't drag us. We came because we love you."

"I just don't understand why I can't move on. I don't even know what I'm scared of. I feel so pathetic."

"Hey, you're anything but pathetic. What's happened to you since that night is more than anyone should have to go through in a life time never mind a few weeks. It's happened and it's always going to be with you but it doesn't have to hurt you." Marissa nodded and wiped tears off her face as she felt Kirsten's protective arms wrap around her again. Suddenly the door opened and Seth barged in.

"Oh…" he said surprised and embarrassed as he turned to go back out. "I'm sorry I'll come back a bit later."

"No it's fine. Come in," Marissa said wiping her cheeks, trying to cover up her grief.

"Yeah, I was just leaving. You gonna be ok?" Marissa nodded and Kirsten kissed her head lightly. "Okay. And remember if you need anything just ask." Kirsten got up and walked past Seth who still looked uncomfortable. She gave him a look to warn him to be careful. Seth went and sat on the edge of the bed beside Marissa.

"Look, we both know I'm really not good in these sorts of situations. I always create awkward silences." They both sat there in awkward silence. "Uh, so basically," he looked at Marissa's bleary eyes "I guess I just want you to know that I will always be here for you. Well obviously not right here because it's your bed and that would just be weird…." Seth rambled as Marissa smirked at him.

"I'll be fine honestly."

"Come here," Seth opened his arms and they hugged each other.

"Well that went pretty well," he said letting go of her. Marissa hit him playfully on the arm. "But seriously, are you going to be ok?"

"Seth I'll be fine," Marissa said getting frustrated. "Now what did you actually come here for because if that was it you might have wanted to be a bit more prepared."

"Oh right no. What I came for was to ask if you fancy going to the beach with me, Ryan and Summer."

"Yeah that sounds great," she smiled at him as the room fell into silence.

"Umm, there are bagels if you want one but I should warn you if you don't get there soon they'll all be gone. Bagels don't last long in the Cohen house."

"OK, thanks. I'll be through in a minute."

"Ok," Seth got up and left.

* * *

Kirsten leaned against the worktop drinking coffee as Sandy made himself a bagel.

"I just can't imagine what she's going through."

"I know honey, I know, but she'll be fine. She is surrounded by friends and as along as we stay strong for her…."

Seth walked in and grabbed a bagel.

"How is she? What did you say?" Kirsten immediately quizzed him.

"Well naturally I caused several awkward silences."

"Seth! You were supposed to comfort her not make her feel uncomfortable!"

"Don't worry mom, we did the whole hugging thing," he took a bite of the bagel "I even made her laugh."

"So you going to the beach?" Sandy asked him.

"Yeah. The fantastic four haven't hung out in a while."

"It'll be fun, just remember to put on sun cream."

"Mom!"

"What! You should be thanking me. Need I remind you of the summer of 98 when you looked like a lobster wearing swimming trunks?"

"What was that about a lobster wearing swimming trunks?" Marissa asked, walking into the kitchen. They all turned to her.

"Hey."

"Morning. Bagel?" Marissa took a bagel out of the basket in Sandy's hand.

"Thanks."

"Well I have to go into the office for a bit to check a few things," he gave Kirsten a quick kiss. "You guys have fun at the beach." Sandy left as Ryan walked in. "Hey Ryan."

"Hey man. You look a bit tired, got bags under your eyes there."

Ryan glared at Seth as Marissa and Kirsten tried not to laugh.

"What! What did I do? What did I say!" Seth asked as Ryan shoved past him to get a bagel.

"Well I'm off to have a fun day shopping with the Newpsies," Kirsten said sarcastically. "You kids have fun." She picked up her bag and left.

"So seriously Seth, what was that about a lobster wearing swimming trunks?"

"Oh just fond memories. You know you would think that you couldn't make a living out of selling lobsters wearing swimming trunks but…"

"Uhuh, sure," Marissa said smiling at him.

"As much as I'm enjoying this conversation I told Summer I would go over so I'll see you guys later."

"Bye."

"See ya."

Ryan walked over and kissed Marissa.

"So last night was pretty good."

"Hmm," Marissa said sounding unconvinced. Ryan hit her playfully. "I'm kidding," she grinned before kissing him again, "It was fantastic." She kissed him again, wrapping her arms around his body.

* * *

"So I noticed you disappeared for a while last night," Seth said to Ryan as they walked to the beach, Marissa and Summer a bit behind them. "Where'd you go?" Ryan gave him a look as if to say 'you know where'. "Ah well, I guess you just really missed your bed. So how was it?"

"It was great….she was great. And afterwards she just fell asleep in my arms. She looked so happy."

"Don't worry man," Seth said noticing the sadness in Ryan's voice.

* * *

"So you had any midnight run-ins?" Marissa bit her lip and looked guilty. "Coop! Why didn't you tell me!"

"Well I haven't really had the chance since you've been gushing about Seth. Plus it was 3 in the morning not midnight."

"They're pretty great," Summer said looking to Ryan and Seth ahead of them.

"Yeah they are," Marissa smiled back. Summer linked her arm in Marissa's and they ran to catch them up.

"Hey," Summer said bounding up to Seth. She let go of Marissa and grabbed Seth's hand. Ryan smiled at Marissa and put his arm around her shoulder, as she slid hers around his waist.

"Isn't life great!" Summer said with a huge smile on her face.

"You're rather cheery this morning," Seth said. "You're not high are you?" Summer hit his chest as Ryan and Marissa laughed at them. Marissa didn't know why but she suddenly felt free from all her troubles.

"You know what life is great," they all looked at Marissa not expecting her to say it. Ryan smiled and kissed her cheek. Seth and Summer looked at each other and smiled. Maybe they could all move on from all the drama of the past few weeks. Maybe……

Please Review!


	28. Hurting

Sorry for taking so long to update, but im finished with all my exams now. Ive started another fic called Forever following on from the season 3 finale...anyway please review!

Chapter 28: Hurting

Summer put on her sunglasses and lay back on her towel next to Marissa. They were both in their bikinis taking in the suns rays. Ryan and Seth were beside them passing a volley ball to and forth.

"Hey," Seth turned to see a girl in a bikini top and mini skirt who handed him a leaflet. "Half price night tonight at the bait shop. Don't miss it."

"Thanks," Seth said taking the leaflet.

"Sounds good," Ryan said walking over.

"Yeah we should all go."

Ryan gently threw the ball at Marissa, who sat up suddenly when it hit her.

"Oh my God! What was that for!" she shouted at Ryan as Seth handed her the leaflet. Summer leaned over and they both read it.

"Sounds like a date, eh Coop?"

"Yeah, it sounds great. I still don't see why you had to throw the ball at me though."

"Who fancies hitting the water? I need some refreshment," Ryan suggested quickly changing the subject.

"No thanks, I'll stick to my bottled water for refreshment. I mean getting salt in your hair is just like….eewww!" Summer said holding up her water bottle.

"Fine then. Let's go Ryan," Seth said. They took a couple of steps before Seth turned back, grabbed Summer, and half picked her up dragging her to the water as she kicked and squealed. Marissa sat there laughing, when she noticed Ryan standing there looking at her.

"Don't even think about trying…"

"I won't." He held out his hand. Marissa stood up and took it, jumping on to his back. Ryan ran to the water where Summer was splashing Seth. He dived underneath with Marissa on his back. They both resurfaced and started to splash each other. Ryan splashed Summer by mistake who splashed him back. It ended up being Marissa and Summer against Ryan and Seth. Right then they were just four average teenagers having fun. But there was definitely nothing average or fun about what was going to happen to them.

* * *

Ryan, Marissa, Seth and Summer came in through the Cohen's front door, laughing and soaking wet. 

"Face it we beat you," Summer said putting her beach bag down.

"Not if you discount the fact that it was the surfer that splashed me," Seth said defensively.

"That is not true! He just sort of, umm, happened to be there," Marissa replied unconvincingly.

"Hmm, that was handy," Ryan said sarcastically.

"Just cause you're bad losers," Marissa said to him as they walked into the kitchen.

"Bagel anyone?" Seth asked holding out the basket of bagels.

"Do you eat anything other than bagels?" Marissa asked.

"What's wrong with bagels?" he asked very defensively.

"Nothing. I just thought that, uh….never mind," she grabbed a bagel, "Thanks."

"Hey guys."

"Hey," they all replied to Kirsten.

"How was the beach?"

"It was great. Especially when Sum and I beat the guys in a water fight."

"More like we let you win." Marissa was about to argue with Seth when Ryan cut in.

"We met a girl on the beach who was handing out leaflets for a half price night tonight at the bait shop so we thought we'd go."

"That's fine by me," Kirsten said.

"Well I got to get home. My step mom wants to take me shopping so that we can "bond"."

"Oh sounds fun," Marissa said sarcastically.

"But I'll see you guys later."

"Bye," Marissa hugged her.

"After all that fighting, I'm pretty tired," Ryan said looking at Marissa.

"Hmm, yeah me too," she replied smiling. Seth suddenly noticed the way they were looking at each other.

"I got to go throw up," he said before running up the stairs.

* * *

Ryan walked into the guestroom where Marissa was standing with her back to the door looking at two dresses lying on the bed. 

"Hey."

"Oh, hey. I can't decide which one to wear. The red or the black?"

"Umm, the black."

"What's wrong with the red?" she asked almost accusingly.

"Nothing. I had to choose one so I did. Plus the red has buttons but the black doesn't…."

"Hmm, I think I like where this is going," Marissa faced him and teased with the collar of his shirt. "So what are you doing later tonight?"

"I don't know," he said playing along.

"Well I do."

"Are you going to tell me?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because it'll ruin it. But I suppose I could give you a preview." Marissa gently ran her fingers down his arms. She took his hands and gently placed them around her waist, never once taking her eyes off his. She raised her hands and placed them on his cheeks. She slowly leaned her face towards his, stopping when their noses were almost touching. She took her hands off his face and took a step back.

"Hey, why'd you stop?"

"Like I said it was just a preview." She picked up the dresses from the bed and headed to the door. Ryan grabbed her hand.

"You don't get away that easily." He pulled her into him.

"Ryan, I need to get changed," she said laughing.

"You could do that here," he kissed her neck. "I wouldn't mind."

"I'm sure you wouldn't. Ryan…Ryan…." He kept kissing her neck, and gently took the dresses out of her hands.

"Hey!" He stepped back and hid them behind his back. "I need them."

"Come and get them then," he said with a cheeky grin.

"Ryan…"

"Come on." She rolled her eyes and moved over to him. She tried to grab them but he just moved.

"Ryan…" she kept grabbing for them, and started tackling him. She laughed as he started to tickle her. She pushed him onto the bed and landed on top of him.

"Are you sure you can wait until tonight?" She felt a shiver go through her body as Ryan placed his hands on her back, under her top. He planted kisses on her forehead and cheeks as he gently ran his hands up and down her back. He smiled as she closed her eyes, trying to resist. He moved his hands up the side of her body. Suddenly she grabbed his face and attacked his mouth with hers. She moaned as all the built up passion was released.

"Hey Maris….Oh my, I really need to learn to knock. I'm sorry. Carry on," Seth said backing out of the doorway. It seemed to him that every time he saw them they were groping each other. As he reached the bottom of the stairs and even worse image entered his mind.

"What is this place! A brothel!" he said on seeing his parents kissing passionately.

"To normal people kissing is a sign of affection," Sandy told him.

"To normal people seeing their parents making out is kinda sick."

"Well are you just going to stand there?" Kirsten asked.

"Yeah actually, yeah. Upstairs is Ryan and Marissa and down here is I think we all know what."

* * *

Ryan and Marissa walked into the kitchen holding hands. 

"Hey Seth are you ready?"

"Marissa you look beautiful," Kirsten commented.

"Thanks," Marissa said smiling sweetly.

"Let me just grab my jacket."

"You kids have fun. And be careful," Sandy warned.

"Yeah, whatever," Seth shouted back as he shut the front door.

"Seth…."

"Hey don't," Kirsten said, grabbing his arm. "We're alone now and can show each other as much affection as we want."

"Hmm. I like the sound of that," Sandy said smiling before kissing Kirsten.

* * *

"I don't think I've ever seen it this busy," Seth commented as the four teens walked into the Bait shop. 

"You guys go and find somewhere where we can move and we'll go and get drinks," Ryan said to Summer and Marissa.

"Okay," Summer said as they parted ways. Summer and Marissa barged their way through the crowds.

"Hey, Coop. Over there," Summer pointed to a quiet spot in the corner.

"You go. I need the toilet," Marissa said to her.

"Uh, okay," Summer replied as Marissa disappeared into the crowds.

Marissa walked into the bathroom. There were a couple of girls at the mirror, chatting and checking their makeup. Marissa walked passed them and locked herself in one of the cubicles. She put the toilet lid down and sat on it. Her heart started to race and her hands started to shake as she unzipped her bag. She stuck her hand in and brought out a full bottle of vodka. She reminded herself that she wouldn't feel scared once she drunk it. That's why she kept drinking it. In a strange way it made her feel safe. Everything was going great with Ryan, but it just wasn't enough. She took the lid off and let the clear liquid run down her throat. She brought it away from her mouth and gasped, choking as she felt it burn down her throat. She had drunk almost 3/4 of the bottle and stuffed the rest back in her bag. She leaned her elbows on her knees and held her head in her hands. She couldn't help but let tears escape her eyes. She hated this bit, as her body was taken over by the alcohol. She sat up taking deep breaths, feeling herself grow weaker.

"Hey," Summer said as Ryan and Seth came over carrying drinks.

"Where's Marissa?" Ryan asked her.

"She went to the toilet like ten minutes ago. I don't know what's taking her so long. I'll go and check if she's still there."

"I don't think you'll have to." Ryan and Summer turned to where Seth was looking. Marissa was walking towards them, stumbling all over the place.

"Oh god," Ryan sighed as she approached them.

"Hey guys," Marissa slurred.

"You were at the toilet for a while," Summer said to her.

"Yeah well," she grabbed a drink off Seth and downed it in a oner.

"Why are you doing this Marissa?" Ryan asked her.

"Doing what?" she asked innocently.

"You know what," he said coldly.

"Lighten up Ryan," Marissa opened her bag and took out the bottle. Seth and Summer looked at each other worried. She lifted it up to her mouth.

"Don't you think you've had enough of that?" he said quietly but angrily.

"No."

"Marissa…."

"Ryan, don't okay! I don't want to hear it!" Marissa slurred angrily.

"You're going to hear it whether you like it or not!" he shouted back. "Do you not realise how stupid you're being?"

"I don't care anymore!" Marissa shouted tears streaming down her face.

"You're just hurting yourself! And you know what! You're hurting me!"

"Well then maybe you should just go!"

"You know what maybe I will! If you want to ruin you life, FINE! I'm done!"

"FINE! Have a nice life!" Marissa tipped the rest of the vodka into her mouth and thrust the empty bottle into Ryan's hands. She turned and shoved passed people, disappearing out of sight.

"Marissa….." he shouted. "Aaarrgghh!" Ryan threw the bottle into the wall, smashing it into tiny pieces.

"Ryan, you alright?" Seth asked him, knowing it was a stupid question.

"Maybe we should find Coop and get out of here," Summer suggested quietly to Seth. Seth was about to nod his head when suddenly there was a gun shot and an ear piercing scream………..

* * *

Please Review! 


	29. A Tale of Terror

It's only taken me...3 months to update :p Better late than never they do say. I just hope all the readers and reviewers haven' forgotten about though I can't blame you if you have! Anyway would love it if you would leave a comment. I'll update sooner though that won't be too difficult considering how long I've taken. Anyway here's chapter 29:

Chapter 29: A Tale of Terror

Ryan's head shot up and Seth and Summer looked at each other with wide eyes. Suddenly everyone in the started screaming and shoving to escape from the club.

"Marissa," Ryan said under his breath heading into the huge mass of people. Seth grabbed hold of Summer's hand and tried to follow Ryan.

"Marissa!" Ryan shouted over all the screaming, realising that really it was pointless. But that wasn't going to stop him. Knowing that she couldn't have gone far he tried to scan over people's heads as he got pulled along. He ducked down as a series of shots rang over his head. He looked behind him and spotted Seth clinging onto a tearful Summer.

"Coop!" Summer screamed. "_Oh god what if she's hurt_!" she suddenly thought to herself. She buried herself into Seth as shots were fired. Seth frantically looked around. He spotted Ryan but he couldn't see Marissa. They got dragged along with everyone, aiming for the exit. There's was a series of terrifying screams as a girl nearby fell to the ground shot in the chest. Seth kept her eyes fixed on her, not quite believing what he was seeing. But before he even had the chance to think about going to help her she was obscured from his sight as he got dragged away. He felt like he was in some horror movie. The sort that he would make snide remarks about how unreal it all was. It would never happen in real life, except here he was living in it.

"Coop!" he heard Summer still calling out Marissa's name in vain. He held her tightly as she almost fell over, knowing she would be trampled on if she did. He lost sight of Ryan and decided to just concentrate on getting himself and Summer through the nightmare alive. He shielded her as more shots were fired. He looked at the faces of the people surrounding him. Faces full of fear. At least he had Summer. He felt sick knowing that Ryan and Marissa were out there alone.

Ryan eventually found himself getting squeezed out through the door. He ran out and through the crowds of fleeing people. The feeling of the air on his face when he realised he was outside was one of the best feelings he had ever felt. He looked through the crowds just hoping, praying that she was out safely.

"Marissa!" he called out again thinking she might be able to hear him out there. He shoved through all the people and looked back at the door as Seth and Summer emerged. They barged their way towards each other just thankful that they were alive. But right now Ryan wasn't thinking of himself.

"Thank god you're ok," Seth shouted breathlessly over all the commotion. "When I lost sight of you…."

"We need to find Marissa," Ryan cut in knowing that every second counted. He grabbed Seth's arm who in turn pulled a shaking Summer along with him. Ryan suddenly had visions flashing through his mind. Visions of Tijuana. He shoved through the crowds outside the Bait Shop having severe déjà vu. That time she was alright in the end, so she'll be alright this time too, he tried to convince himself. Though last time he was almost too late. What if this time there was no almost? Just a too late.

"Marissa!" they all called out. Summer took out her cell and phoned Marissa. The phone rang then there was a loud crackling noise. Summer moved the phone away from her ear a bit.

"Coop!" she called down the phone before it suddenly cut off. "There was crackling then it went blank," Summer told Seth and Ryan. "What does it mean?"

"I don't know," Ryan replied not liking the sound of it. He just hoped that it wasn't her ear piercing scream that they all heard. Police cars and ambulances arrived as people continued to spill out of the club. Summer suddenly let go of Seth and ran over to a police officer.

"You've got to help us!" she said to him desperately. "We're looking for our friend, Marissa Cooper. She's tall, 5'9", thin, wearing a black dre…"

"I'm sorry miss but until things calm down we really can't search for individuals."

Summer was about to argue with him when a message crackled through his radio.

"I'm on it," he replied to the message. He signalled a group of armed officers who ran around the side of the building.

"I'm sorry ma'am," he said before following the others.

"Oh you will be," Summer said clenching her fists.

"Hey Summer let's keep looking. She's got to be here somewhere," Seth said gently. "_I just hope she's alive_," he morbidly thought to himself.

"Kirsten sat up as the credits of the film rolled down the screen. Sandy pressed the stop button and was about to turn the TV off but froze when he saw the image on the screen. The Bait Shop.

"Breaking news. Terror has broken out at the popular club The Bait Shop. Here's Elaine Gibson with more."

Sandy and Kirsten looked on in horror as the image of screaming people and ambulances appeared on their screen.

"I'm here at the Bait Shop where you can see there is complete chaos. It is thought to be an armed burglary . Many shots have been fired in the premises though it is not yet clear if there have been any fatalities…"

Sandy and Kirsten looked at each other on this word. They both got up and ran to the phone. Sandy grabbed it and frantically dialled Seth's number. It eventually stopped ringing as Seth picked up.

"Dad!" he shouted over all the noise.

"Oh thank god you're ok! We just saw a report on the TV. Are the others ok?"

"I'm here with Ryan and Summer."

"What about Marissa?" Sandy asked urgently.

"We don't know where she is. We've looked everywhere. We think she might be stuck inside. We just…we don't know what to do."

"Stay there," Sandy shouted down the line. "I'm coming. And keep your phone on."

"Ok," Seth replied before hanging up.

"What's going on?" Kirsten asked him urgently.

"The boys and Summer are fine but they can't find Marissa."

"Oh god, if something happens to her while she's in our care I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself."

"Hey hey we don't know that anything's happened to her. I said they shouldn't have gone," he said angrily under his breath.

"When did you say that?" Kirsten asked him.

"I'm saying it now. I've got to go." He gave her a quick kiss and ran out the door, grabbing the keys on the way out.

"Be careful," Kirsten called to him as the door slammed shut. She returned to the couch, her eyes glued to the television.

"I'm sorry sir but you're going to have to move back."

"Okay, but we can't find our friend, she might be in there," Seth tried to protest as a police officer cordoned off the area just outside with tape.

"Look you don't understand…"

"Seth, Ryan, Summer!" Seth turned away from the officer as he heard his dads voice.

"You guys okay?" he asked as he rushed over to the three teens.

"Yeah we're fine," Seth replied. Sandy looked around at the crowds of people gathered behind the tape. He noticed the armed police officers surrounding the building.

"I've been trying to get that officer to tell us what's going on," Seth said pointing to the officer hovering just on the other side of the tape. Sandy stepped in beside Seth.

"Excuse me officer?" The cop turned around.

"How can I help you?" Seth just stared on and threw his arms out.

"Sandy Cohen," he flashed his business card. "Look we think our friend might still be inside and we want to know what's happening. Is everyone out of the building?"

"No one has appeared for a while but we are pretty certain that the burglars are still in there."

"Pretty certain!" Ryan asked him, unimpressed. "That's it? My girlfriend could be in there hurt or worse and you're just pretty certain?"

"I'm sorry but if we act too quickly then they could escape. We have officers surrounding the premises ready to go in but we have to be very careful." Suddenly a voice boomed over a loud speaker.

"This is Orange County Police. It's over, you're surrounded. Give up your weapons and show yourselves."

The whole place fell into an eerie silence as everyone watched and waited. Summer slipped her hands into Seth's and squeezed it tightly. Suddenly a voice boomed out from inside the building.

"We're not giving up that easily. We have five hostages and if you want them out alive then you better do what we want. I don't think it would be too good for Orange County Police Department to have the blood of five young people on their hands."

Murmurs erupted through the crowds.

"You don't think…" Seth said knowing that they were all thinking it.

"Seth don't. For all we know she's trying to find us in the crowd," Sandy replied though Seth could tell that he didn't believe this.

"Now start by removing your officers from the back of the building."

"We are officers of the law of the United States of America, show yourselves, give up the hostages and we can discuss an agreement."

"You don't understand," the eerie voice replied from inside. "Remove your officers from the back and no one gets hurt. And don't try anything. We're watching you."

"Retreat from back. I repeat all officers retreat from back," an officer said into his radio. A few officers appeared from round the side of the building. The whole crowd fell silent again. Summer could hear her own heart beating in her chest.

"What's going on?" she whispered to Seth.

"I don't know," he replied. Suddenly a boy of about 19 came stumbling through the front door. An officer ran over to him as he collapsed to his knees, shaking with fear. He lead him away and to an ambulance. Ryan noticed himself holding his breath just waiting for Marissa to come through the door, to run in to his arms and tell him everything was going to be ok. He just wanted to hold her.

Kirsten sat on the edge of the seat not able to take her eyes off the screen.

"One hostage has been released but no one knows what it's going to take to get the other four out alive. The police are coming under pressure to cope with the demands of the criminals obviously wanting to keep the body count to a minimum."

The screen suddenly went back to the studio.

"Looks like we're taking a break from that," the news reader said, slightly caught off guard. "We'll go to Laura for a quick look at the weather and will return to the scene at The Bait Shop."

All Kirsten could do was pray that they would not be counting Marissa's body. The worst part of it was that none of them knew what had happened to her. They didn't know if she was outside in amongst the crowds, being held hostage or….

No one knew.

Please review! even one word... :)


	30. A Night to Remember

Wahay only took me 3 weeks this time!

The night of terror continues...

Chapter 30: A Night To Remember

Marissa bit her lip and glanced around with her eyes, not daring to move her head. She felt the girl next to her shaking as she sobbed quietly. She prayed that she would calm down. The girl whimpered and Marissa flinched and swallowed deeply as a gun moved past her face.

"If any of you even attempt to make an escape you'll regret it for the rest of you life, which admittedly would only be a second." A masked man walked passed Marissa waving the gun at each of their faces. Marissa looked to the boy and girl across from her, both around 18. Marissa noticed three more masked and armed men hovering in the background.

"Now all you have to do is do what I say." He suddenly lunged and grabbed on to the shaking girl, dragging her up roughly. "Why don't you shut up and go and open the till."

"I…I…don't know how," she whimpered.

"Well you better learn quickly then," he grunted roughly shoving her towards the till. He waved his hand to one of the other men who moved over to watch Marissa and the other two hostages.

"Please…please… I don't know," she cried weakly as he dragged her to the till. "Please, no, please just let me go!" she begged. She fell to the ground as a hand flew to her face.

"Leave her alone!" Marissa suddenly shouted standing up. The man walked back to Marissa. He laughed in her face and she just glared back.

"Oh we're quite the character now aren't we." He pressed his gun under her chin, pushing her back into the wall. He leaned right into her face. " I would suggest that you sit down and shut up," he growled quietly. "We wouldn't want anything to happen to your pretty little face now," he caressed her face with his thumb as a shiver went through her body, memories of her ordeal not so long ago flashing back. He roughly shoved her back down. Marissa fell back down as she suddenly felt weak. Why did things keep happening to her, what had she ever done? She rested her head in her arms wishing that she could feel Ryan close to her. She had ruined it with him and she would do anything to take it back. She felt tears surface as she realised what a mess she had made and now she might not be able to make it right. Marissa suddenly looked up when she heard shouts. She felt her chest tighten when she saw the girl make a run for the door.

"No!" she shouted but it was too late as a shot was fired and she fell lifeless to the floor. Marissa tried to scream but nothing came out as she froze in terror. She watched as a trickle of blood appeared from under the body. The masked man ran over to the remaining three. The other two moved close together, hugging on to each other but Marissa sat there with no one to hold on to her. No one to tell her that everything would be alright, no shoulder to cry on.

"I'm guessing that put across a pretty clear message of what will happen if any of you try anything." He turned to Marissa, fire raging in his eyes. "You come with me." He grabbed on to Marissa's arm his fingernails digging in.

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The crowd fell silent once again when a gun shot rang out from inside the building. The officers near the entrance glanced back to the one in charge not knowing what to do. They got the signal to stay where they were. Noticing this Ryan clenched his fists.

"Why don't they go in, what're they waiting for!" Sandy placed his hand on Ryan's shoulder.

"They know what they're doing kid."

"What if that's not enough? What if Marissa's dead! I wouldn't call that knowing what you're doing."

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Marissa felt tears in her eyes as she felt herself get pulled on.

"Wait no!" a voice emerged from the other girl. The man faced her, still grabbing onto Marissa. Marissa frowned as the girl stood up clearly terrified. "I work here I know how to get into the tills."

"Not that's what I like to hear." He let go of Marissa and grabbed the other girl by the arm. Marissa held her arm where he had grabbed her, closing her eyes as tears fell. She watched as he led the girl to the till holding the gun to her head. Marissa flinched as she felt a hand on her leg. She looked into the boys eyes.

"Hey, it's going to be alright. Okay? Okay?" Marissa nodded weakly as he shakily held on to her hand. Marissa held tightly onto his hand. He may have been a stranger but right now he was all she had.

"What's your name?" he whispered trying to calm her down.

"Marissa," she managed to whisper out.

"I'm Pete." Marissa let out a shaky breath as she started to relax. Marissa glanced up and saw the girl still at the till. Suddenly Marissa let go of his hand as he was yanked up.

"Hey you work here?" the masked guy asked him looking at his bait shop top. Pete glanced down at Marissa who looked back at him, her eyes wide with fear. "I said do you work here?" he growled shaking Pete.

"Yes," he cried out.

"Hey! This kid works here too!" he shouted over to the man at the till.

"Take him to the safe!" he shouted back. The other man walked over and grabbed on to Pete. Pete glanced back to Marissa. He mouthed "I'm sorry" to her as he was dragged out of her sight. Marissa bit her lip as she tried not to cry. She had only known him for a few minutes but he had been there when she was alone.

"I guess it's just me and you then," a gruff voice said to her. He pulled her off the ground and pinned her against the wall. "I could do anything I wanted," he pressed his hips against her and crushed her lips with his. They felt like sand paper against her lips as she tried to squirm out of his grip. He tightened his grip as his lips moved to her neck and across to her chest. She looked up as tears trickled down her cheeks. _"Please Ryan I need you_," she prayed to herself, as she felt her strap being moved down and his hand reach up her dress. Ryan was her angel, her world and she needed him now more than ever before. She closed her eyes as she gradually gave up. She felt his tongue shove down her throat as his hands groped at her. He let go as a voice called over to him.

"Hey keep it in your trousers! I'm taking this one out back. You know what to do. The cops will be in any minute. They just want us to believe that we have control. But we'll show them." Both men laughed as Marissa pulled her strap up, backing against the wall. "Come on sugar time to go," he laughed in her face as he grabbed her and led her to the door. "How about one last kiss?" Marissa tried to lean away but he grabbed her head and pulled it to his. He pushed her face away and grinned at Marissa. "If I could have it my way then we'd still be up against that wall," he looked her up and down before sighing. "But I guess we'll have to do it the boss's way." He gripped his hand around Marissa's arm and lifted the gun to her head. Marissa closed her eyes and felt herself stop breathing waiting for darkness to consume her. But her eyes shot open when she heard a loud voice beside her.

"If any of your officers make a wrong move then you're going to have this girls blood on your hands." Marissa felt herself being shoved sideways the gun still on her head.

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Ryan's body tightened when he heard a voice emerge from inside the building.

Suddenly a girl got shoved into the doorway a gun resting on the side of her head, only the arm of the criminal visible. But it wasn't just any young girl.

"Marissa!" Ryan shouted out, his first instinct to run to her. He tried to get to her, the fear on her face tearing him up inside, but Sandy and Seth each grabbed on to one of his arms stopping him from making one of the biggest mistakes of his life, knowing that it would take one simple movement for the trigger to be pulled and Marissa's life to end. They both loved Marissa but not like Ryan whose love for her was blinding him. Marissa needed rescuing and all Ryan wanted to be was her knight.

"I demand you all to lower your weapons or this girl will die!"

The officers all looked at each other and gradually lowered their guns.

"Thank you for complying to my commands but you should all know by now that we never stick to our word."

Ryan looked at Sandy confused as the place fell silent once again.

"I mean you couldn't even save one girl."

Marissa screwed her eyes shut as she felt the gun press harder to her head. She felt tears fall from her eyes, the last tears she would cry with no one to catch them when they fell.

A gun shot rang out on that dark Californian night, a night that everyone there would remember. Ryan threw himself forwards through the tape remembering what had happened, forgetting what could, thinking of just one thing. Marissa. The way to love something is to realise that it might be lost, but the way to keep loving something is to save it when it loses it's way. He was there to save Marissa and nothing and no one could stop him.

I see a very pretty purple coloured clickable rectangle down there! Hope you do too... (basically please review!)


	31. Not Now Not Ever

3 months...3 weeks...3 days! What more could you want (probably quite a lot but that's not the point!) They do say that 3 is the magic number. If only this was chapter number 33! Anyways read on and enjoy...

Chapter 31: Not Now Not Ever

Marissa slowly opened her eyes as a gun shot rang out through the stillness. Everything slowed down as the crowds of people in front of her blurred into a big mass, as she felt her legs grow weaker. She watched as a gun clattered to the ground in slow motion landing at her feet. The loud crack it made as metal hit concrete went screeching through her ears. Next she heard a thud, the sound of a body hitting the ground. But it wasn't hers. Slowly she turned around the body of her captor lying motionless on the ground beside her, a police officer inside the club his gun raised in the air. She watched as his mouth moved but she couldn't hear anything. She turned back round as she saw him move towards her. Suddenly everything came back into focus and seemed to speed up, like someone was pausing and fast forwarding her life like a video. As her legs gave way she threw herself forwards towards the sea of faces. She felt herself falling to the ground but never making it as she felt someone grab onto her. She looked up and saw the face of her saviour, her angel. He was her light when it was dark; her warmth when she was cold; her friend when she was alone; her shield when she was in danger. He was hers and she wasn't going to let him go.

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Ryan's heart stopped as the gun clattered to Marissa's feet. The next few seconds felt like a lifetime as Marissa threw herself away from the door. He saw as Marissa started to fall to the ground but he ran to her catching her. A knight never drops his princess and that's what Marissa was to him. He hated himself for not being there in the past but he was here now and he was never going to leave.  
"Marissa? Marissa?" he whispered to her, stroking her tear stained cheeks as her hollow eyes burned into his. "You're ok, it's going to be ok," he whispered as her terrorised face crumpled up as she buried her head into Ryan. He stroked her head as he wrapped his arms around her shaking body, guiding her back to reality. She had strayed off the path, but he was waiting ready to give her directions. Ryan watched as the police ran into the building, horrified at what could have happened. But it didn't happen, and that was what mattered.

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Summer suddenly felt her breath rush back to her lungs as she watched Marissa flee from the doorway. Alive. She felt Seth's strangely strong arm wrap around her shoulder. Sandy patted Seth's shoulder. Both men looked at each other giving a slight nod as they reassured each other that everything was ok.

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Ryan noticed a pair of feet beside him and looked up to see a paramedic.  
"We should check her over."  
Ryan nodded as he rubbed Marissa's arm, trying to get her to sit up. Marissa lifted up her pale face.  
"Hi," the paramedic said gently. "Why don't you come with me, just to check that everything's ok."  
Marissa nodded as Ryan and the paramedic helped her off the ground. They made their way to the ambulance passed crowds of murmuring people. Ryan constantly whispered things in her ear reassuring her that she was ok, though he knew that she was too shocked to register what he was saying. Ryan reluctantly let go of Marissa's arm as the paramedic sat her down in the ambulance.

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Ryan heard his voice being called as Sandy, Seth and Summer rushed over.  
"What's going on? Is she ok?" Summer asked breathlessly.  
"They're just checking her over."  
"Now Marissa I want you to answer my question, ok? Take as much time as you need," the paramedic said gently as Ryan, Sandy, Seth and Summer listened in. "Did these men do anything to you? Did they take advantage of you?"  
Ryan's breath caught in the back of his throat. Rape. He hadn't even considered it. If any of those bastards had touched Marissa he would….he would…Reality suddenly hit him as he realised that there was nothing he could do. Seth swallowed and looked anxiously to Sandy whose eyes were fixed straight ahead, waiting for an answer.  
Marissa frowned at the paramedic as she felt his rough lips against hers, his cold hand moving up her dress. She realised that he had run out of time. She knew what he had planned to do. Marissa slowly shook her head and forced out a quiet no. They all let out a sigh of relief, except Ryan. He didn't like the way she had hesitated. There was something she wasn't telling them.  
"Ok. Well it looks like you're physically ok." She turned to the others. "Are you her father?" she asked Sandy.  
"Umm no, her parents are both away just now but she is in my care."  
"Well I suggest you get her home, she's been pretty shaken."  
"Will do, thanks," Sandy replied as Ryan helped Marissa out. Seth quickly took off his jacket and handed it to Ryan who draped it around Marissa.  
"Thanks man." Seth nodded at Ryan. Summer linked her arm through Seth's, so glad she had him. They had only taken a few steps before they were approached by a police officer.  
"Miss could we talk to you?" the young officer asked clearly oblivious to the state the Marissa was in. Marissa lowered her head and moved closer to Ryan who shielded her protectively.  
"Sorry officer but she's in no state to talk to you. Here's my card." He handed his business card over and ushered the others away from all the chaos. Away from yet again another nightmare. Would it ever end?

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Kirsten leapt up from the couch as she watched the drama unfold. When she saw Marissa run off unhurt her brain went in to overdrive. She had to get the house ready for when they got home. She ran out to the pool house to get Marissa's things and move them into the spare room. She wasn't having Marissa out there alone. She turned the light on and walked over to Marissa's suitcase which was lying on the floor. She picked up the few things that Marissa had taken out and went to put them back in. She moved things around the case to fit everything in when something caught her eye. She frowned and moved her hand into the case. She grabbed on to the object and brought it out. Her worst fears were confirmed when she saw Vodka printed across the bottle. She stuck her hand back in and drew out another bottle. She sighed and shook her head.  
"What are you doing to yourself?" she questioned out loud. She packed the rest of the case and zipped it up, picking up the full bottles in her hand.

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Kirsten ran downstairs when she heard the front door open. Sandy walked through the door followed by Ryan with his arm around a shaking Marissa, Seth behind them. Sandy looked up as Kirsten rushed over.  
"You guys ok?" she asked.  
"Yeah we're ok," Sandy replied.  
"I moved all of Marissa's things into the spare room," she said to Ryan who nodded his head and gently lead Marissa over to the stairs.  
Kirsten ran over to Seth and hugged him tightly.  
"Oh thank god you're ok."  
Seth stumbled slightly as Kirsten threw her arms around her.  
"Yeah, I kind of can't breath now though," he said, faking choking.  
"Honey I think the time has come. Our son is a man!" Sandy smiled smacking Seth on the back.  
"Woah! Yup can't breath or move now," Seth said with a grimace.  
"He was calm, controlled….actually the complete opposite to what he usually is."  
"Wow thanks for that dad," Seth said sarcastically.  
"I knew the day would come," Kirsten said with a smile, squishing his cheeks with her hand and poking him in the eye by accident.  
"Owww! Seriously what are you guys trying to do to me!" Seth asked screwing up his eye.  
"Oh I'm sorry honey. Let me just…" Kirsten reached her hand over to him.  
"No, no. Don't touch me," Seth said taking a step backwards. "Before you like….kill me."  
"And then there's that," Sandy said putting his arm around Kirsten's shoulder.  
"All joking aside, are you ok? I mean what you just lived through was pretty horrific," Kirsten said.  
"Yeah watching a girl die isn't exactly one of my favourite past times."  
"You saw someone die?" Kirsten asked with wide eyes.  
"Tends to be what happens in armed robberies."  
"Just remember we're both here to talk to," Sandy said seriously.  
"I'll jot that down on my memo pad," Seth replied sarcastically heading for the stairs.  
"Please Seth talk to us," Kirsten shouted to him.  
"I think Marissa's the one you should be worried about," Seth called back.  
"One day I will break through his sarcastic comments," Sandy said with a sigh. "Should we be worried about Marissa?" Sandy asked Kirsten.  
"More than you realise," Kirsten said sadly.  
"What do you mean?" Kirsten linked her arm through Sandy's and they walked to their bedroom as they talked.  
"Well earlier when I moved Marissa's stuff into the spare room I found something in her suitcase." Kirsten reached into the top drawer and pulled out the bottles of vodka. She handed them to Sandy.  
"These were in her case?"  
Kirsten nodded grimly.  
"I don't know what we should do," she said sounding defeated.  
"There's nothing we can do. We're not her parents."  
"But I can't not say anything when I know what she's doing to herself. Alcohol almost ruined my mom's life and I'm not just going to stand by and watch it happen to Marissa. She's got too much to live for."  
"Well what do you want to do?"  
"I don't know Sandy, I don't know. I just feel so guilty."  
"Honey you're nothing to do with her drinking," Sandy said joining Kirsten on the edge of the bed.  
"No not that. Ryan came to me a while ago and basically said he was worried about how much Marissa was drinking and I pretty much told him to the face that he was being ridiculous and then this happens. He's never going to trust me again."  
"Of course he'll trust you. He knows that you're here for him – and Marissa."  
"I hope so," she whispered as he kissed her head.  
"I know so. Talk to him and so will you."

&&&&&&&&&&&&

Ryan sorted the bed covers as Marissa walked back in after a shower.  
"Hey, how you feeling?" Marissa shrugged her shoulders.  
"Look what…."  
"What I said…" they both started at the same time. Ryan nodded for Marissa to continue. She took a deep breath and fiddled with her finger nails as she spoke.  
"What I did earlier, I don't know why and what I said….." Marissa said quickly. She looked down then back up at Ryan. "I'm sorry," she whispered.  
"I'm the one that should be sorry," Ryan replied walking over to her. He took hold of her shoulders and gently ran his hands up and down the tops of her arms. I didn't mean what I said I just hate watching you do that to yourself, but I'm not leaving you. Not now, not ever."  
"I'm sorry for hurting you, I really am trying to stop. But I don't want you to go. You know when I was inside I prayed for you to come and save me and you came and that means more to me than you'll ever know."  
"Well you mean more to me than you'll ever know."  
Ryan moved his arms around her as she held him close, swearing to never let him go no matter what.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

As long as i get 3 reviews I'll be happy:p (though i won't complain if i get more!) Thanks so much to those who reviewed the last chapter glad you're liking it. Broken into the triple (aka 3) numbers! YUS!


	32. Promises

Chapter 32: Promises

Kirsten knocked on the pool house door and opened it.

"Hey Ry…" she frowned at the made up bed. She closed the door and made her way back to the main house. She went up the stairs and knocked on the spare room door. When she got no answer she carefully opened it and peered in. She saw Marissa in bed with Ryan beside her on top of the covers still fully clothed from the night before. She smiled when she noticed their hands linked together.

"Mother have I caught you spying?"

Kirsten jumped and turned to Seth.

"Seth! Don't sneak up on me like that!"

"Ha ha! That'll show Summer! I knew I was stealth!" Seth shouted in excitement.

"Seth! Sshh!!" Kirsten scolded, hitting him playfully. "Keep it down!"

Seth looked over Kirsten's shoulder into the room.

"They look so perfect," Kirsten whispered.

"You wouldn't say that if you saw them arguing last night before everything happened! It was not a pretty sight!"

"Well it looks like they figured it out."

"I don't think that would have been a pretty sight either, if you know what I mean," Seth said. Kirsten just rolled her eyes and closed the door.

Marissa opened her eyes, taking a few seconds to adjust to her surroundings. She felt her hand clasped in Ryan's and rolled over to face him. She smiled as he slept peacefully, his chest gently falling and rising. She moved her face forward and gently kissed the tip of his nose. His eyelids fluttered open and he smiled when he saw Marissa.

"Oh sorry did I wake you up?" she asked sarcastically.

"I hope so because I would be worried if someone else had come in and kissed my nose."

She brought her hand up which was clasped with Ryan's. She looked at their hands and absently played with his fingers between hers.

"Marissa?" Ryan watched as she switched off to the rest of the world. All of a sudden she looked so innocent and lost.

"Hmm?" she came out of her trance.

"You ok?"

"What, yeah I'm fine," she said unconvincingly. "It's just…after all that we've been through together and we're still here, makes me think that there's nothing that we can't cope with."

"Is that it?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You looked really scared. I thought you were going to tell me we shouldn't be together or something."

"No…but then I thought what if something like last night happens again and we find out we can't cope. I mean last night almost split us up."

"But it didn't and that's what matters. And it won't happen again. Last night was….well last night, and I just want to pretend it didn't happen." Ryan stroked her cheek with his thumb.

"Yeah me too," she said quietly. Ryan looked into her shining eyes as she gazed back into his. He moved his head forwards and caught her lips in a gently kiss. He leaned his forehead on hers and spoke softly.

"I won't let anything happen to you, and that's a promise."

"You know some people say that promises are just there to be broken," Marissa replied quietly.

"Are you one of those people?" he asked her. Marissa shook her head.

"Nope."

"Good."

"That just means that I promise to love you….no matter what."

"Are you sure about that, I'll hold you to it."

"Positive. 'Cause you know, I'm one of those people who believes that promises are there not to be broken but to hold things together."

Ryan looked at her seriously before letting out a quiet laugh.

"What?!" Marissa asked him.

"Nothing, nothing," Ryan said smiling.

"Ryan! Tell me what's so funny!" Marissa said hitting him playfully.

"I just never realised that you were into such deep speeches

"It was hardly deep, I was just telling you that I love you!"

"I know, I know, I'm just teasing you," he said sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

"Hey, where're you going?" Marissa asked, sounding worried.

"I figured I should at least try and make it look like I slept in the pool house, plus I'm wearing the same clothes from yesterday. I need to change. How about I meet you downstairs in 10 minutes."

"Okay."

Ryan started to get off the bed before leaning in back and giving Marissa another kiss. She giggled before pushing him away.

"Go! Before Sandy and Kirsten realise you slept in here."

Ryan jumped off the bed and sneaked out the door. Marissa smiled, but then bit her bottom lip feeling guilty about how much she was hiding from him. She really did love him and she knew that she shouldn't have any secrets from him. But she was scared that he would be disappointed if she told him about her drinking and she was too scared to tell him about the night before because she just wanted to forget. They had been through enough already to last a lifetime. Him being disappointed in her was one thing she didn't think she could cope with.

Ryan gently closed the spare room door and glanced along the corridor. Seeing it empty he made his way to the stairs. He went down them carefully, looking over the banister to check that the coast was clear. He reached the bottom and was about to tip-toe out the house to the pool house when a voice stopped him in his tracks.

"Morning," Kirsten said cheerfully. Ryan turned around very guiltily to see Kirsten with Seth standing beside her, a grin on his face.

"Morning," he replied guiltily. He scratched his head, "Umm you're probably wondering why I came from upstairs."

"Yes actually we were," Seth said looking forward to seeing what Ryan came up with.

"It's just that, you see…umm,well…I ran out of shampoo so I thought I'd check the bathroom upstairs but uuh there…there wasn't any…," he trailed off at the end feeling his cheeks burning up knowing that it was the most stupid excuse in the world.

"And you did all this in the clothes you wore yesterday?" Seth asked with a smirk.

"Uhh, umm…well, you see the thing is…"

"Ryan we know you slept with Marissa."

"You…umm…what…no…umm…"

"Give it up buddy," Seth said, still smirking. "I caught mom spying into the room earlier. Turns out Kirsten Cohen is actually very stealth…it's the quiet ones you have to watch out for," he whispered at the end. Ryan glared at him before looking at Kirsten.

"I'm sorry…"

"Don't worry, it's ok," Kirsten said gently.

"It is?" Ryan asked surprised.

"After last night Marissa needed you and you were there for her. I think we can allow that."

Ryan nodded in thanks.

"Well I'm just going to head out to the pool house," he said awkwardly.

"Ahah…didn't get much sleep huh?" Seth said with a wink. "Huh?"

"Hmm, funny," Ryan said sarcastically. "Thanks for understanding," he said to Kirsten before walking away. "At least I don't sleep with a plastic horse!" he shouted back.

The smug look disappeared from Seth's face. He turned to look at Kirsten who was looking at him expectantly.

"Ryan slept with Marissa…" Seth tried to remind her, leading the conversation off him.

"I don't want to know."

"Ryan?" Marissa stuck her head into the pool house.

"Hey," Ryan said pulling a wife beater over his head.

"I thought I'd come and get you," she said making her way over to him.

"Yeah sorry I bumped into Kirsten and Seth and had a conversation with many awkward pauses and a story including shampoo…"

"Okay," Marissa said smiling and looking at him strangely.

"Never mind," Ryan said.

"So Kirsten found out then?" Marissa asked wrapping her arms around Ryan's waist. Ryan rested his arms around her.

"Yeah but she was cool about it."

"Well then maybe we could make it a regular occurrence. You know I like waking up beside you," Marissa said leaning to him and kissing him.

"Mmm, yeah," Ryan said through the kiss. "I don't know if she would be so cool about that. It was really just because of what happened last night."

"What happened last night?" Marissa asked innocently wanting to make up for lost time. She kissed him again but Ryan broke it off.

"Wait Marissa."

"What? I'm sorry I thought…"

"No it's not that. It's just last night was pretty horrific I just think we should talk about it."

"I know we should I just don't want to."

"I know. But we're in this together right?"

"Right?"

"Then why don't you tell me what really happened."

"I don't know what you mean. You were there for most of it."

"Not for all of it though. And I know something happened when you were being held hostage. I noticed you hesitate."

"Hesitate? When?"

"When the ambulance guy asked if any of them had you know…done anything to you," Ryan explained awkwardly. "I might be reading too much into it but I needed to ask you."

"You're quite observant these days," Marissa said with a forced laugh but Ryan saw right through this, noticing her shaking hands. Marissa took to fiddling with her bracelet.

"Well?" Ryan asked.

"Well what?" Marissa asked acting ignorant.

"Marissa please just tell me. Did he….rape you?" Ryan struggled to say, even the thought of it making him feel sick. He watched as Marissa suddenly remained deadly still. Her shoulders hunched as she started so sob quietly.

"Yes," she whispered out through her tears.

"What?!" Ryan said shocked, grabbing on to her hand. Marissa quickly looked up.

"No, no. I didn't mean to say that," she stammered. Ryan frowned at her not understanding what was going on. "Marissa took a deep breath. "He…he tried to…rape me," she said quietly. "It was horrible. He had his hands all over me, under my dress. He was kissing me and touching me and…and," a tear fell down her cheek as she felt Ryan wrap an arm around her shoulder. "I was so scared Ryan," she whispered to him. "I can still feel his hands all over me."

"Shh, shh," Ryan said gently. "You're safe now." He hugged her letting her bury her face into him.

But was she really? It seemed to be that bad things kept happening to her. He couldn't understand why it kept happening. All he wanted to do was keep her safe. It just seemed to be impossible. But he had promised her he wouldn't let anything happen to her and he wasn't going to break it.


	33. Dramaless Fun?

Thanks for all the great reviews for chap 32. I stole an idea from thekiller00's review - hope you dont mind! Is the drama really going to end though? Read on to find out...

Chapter 33: Drama-less Fun? 

Marissa rested her head on Ryan's chest. She smiled and closed her eyes as she felt his steady heartbeat.

"Hey you know what I think?" Ryan asked. "I think we should try and just be normal. No more drama. Any more drama and someone is liable to go nuts!"

"You really think that's possible, I mean it's like I wanted any of it to happen."

"Yeah I know you didn't, but it's worth a shot."

"Drama just seems to follow us everywhere," Marissa said before frowning and correcting herself. "Well really it just follows me around. I've just dragged you into it."

"What can I say, I'm a sucker for drama. As long as I save my princess from the tower at the end."

"Trust me, I am not planning on going back up that tower ever again so you're just going to have to find another princess to save."

"Yeah but this knight has eyes for only one princess, drama or no drama." Marissa smiled and sat up on the bed.

"You know what it is worth a shot. And I think it's time I do something for you, I mean you've done more for me than I could ever dream of. So we are going to spend the day at home playing video games doing…I don't care what as long as you're happy."

Ryan sat up and wrapped his arms around her.

"Making out?" he asked kissing her neck. "'Cause that would make me happy."

Marissa pushed him off playfully.

"Uhuh, not today buddy. Today we're going to have some drama-less fun." Marissa smiled. "And maybe at the end of the day I can…" she leaned over and kissed his lips. "make you really happy." She kissed him again before jumping off the bed and stretching out her hand.

"Come on, I'm starving."

"There's probably bagels in the house," Ryan said getting up from the bed and holding onto her hand.

"Nope, sorry. No bagels today. Today we're going to make pancakes!"

"We are?" Ryan said with a slight groan. "I thought we were doing things to make me happy and I gotta tell you the last time I looked at the list making pancakes wasn't on it."

"Well the next time you look it will be 'cause we're going to make pancakes the Marissa Cooper way." They walked hand in hand into the main house.

"And what way is that?"

"You'll just have to wait and see."

"Ooh mysterious, I like it!"

"See we haven't even started and you're happy."

"That's because I've got you," he said, trying to wrap his arms around her. She squirmed out of his grip and turned to face him holding out the soap.

"Well now you've got me and pancakes. What more could you want?" She walked away as Ryan washed his hands smiling to himself. Was it really possible to go without any drama? He hoped so.

"Here you go."

Ryan turned around and took something from Marissa's hands. He let the material unfold and raised his eyebrows.

"You're kidding right?" Marissa just smiled at him. "You're not kidding," he said with a groan looking at the flowery apron.

"Come on! Put it on!" Marissa said with a smile.

"I am not putting this on in a million years," he said pushing it back towards Marissa.

"Not even for me?"

"No, not even for you."

Marissa's eyes sparkled as she moved towards him.

"Not even if I do this?"

She connected their lips in a sweet and innocent kiss.

"Well, maybe…" Ryan mumbled through the kiss. Marissa cut him off by gently slipping her tongue into his mouth. She held onto the apron as Ryan let it slip out of his hands as Marissa took control of him. Ryan's empty hands went to her waist and drew her closer to him, as their tongues continued to dance with each other. Marissa gradually ended the kiss. When their lips parted, she swiftly put the apron over his head as Ryan recovered from the kiss. She smiled as Ryan looked at the apron that was now hanging on him.

"That was sneaky."

"But worth it right?"

"Oh yeah," he said with a small smile that never failed to melt Marissa's heart. She snaked her arms around his back to tie the tie. Ryan hugged her closer and kissed gently at her neck. He carefully put his hand under her top and gently traced his hand around her lower back. Marissa fumbled with the tie, trying not to give in to Ryan as shivers flew up her spine. She managed to tie it up and was ready to give in to Ryan when a voice broke them apart.

"Hey guys," Seth said loudly and cheerfully.

"Uh…hey Seth," Marissa said, smiling fakely. Seth stopped in his tracks when Ryan turned to face him.

"Wo! Nice dress buddy!"

"It's an apron," Ryan said, glaring at Seth while Marissa could help but smile.

"Whatever. It's flowery," Seth said very amused by the sight in front of him.

"We're making pancakes," he said trying to justify it.

"Yeah clearly," Seth said knowing that pancakes definitely weren't on their minds.

"I was just helping him tie up the apron," Marissa added.

"Clearly."

"Well if everything's so clear then why don't you go," Ryan said.

"I am actually quite happy here," Seth said with a smile.

"You know I did see another apron….." Marissa said.

"Come to think of it I've been meaning to do my physics homework all weekend," Seth said hurrying away.

"That was impressive," Ryan said ready to snake his arms back around Marissa.

"Hey mom, dad! Marissa's turning Ryan into a domestic goddess." He drew his arms back when Kirsten and Sandy walked in.

"Good on her…wo!" Sandy stopped, Kirsten just behind him. "Nice apron," he said laughing.

"Hey guys," Kirsten said stifling a laugh. Ryan just stood there looking embarrassed and annoyed.

"Thanks," he sarcastically to Sandy.

"Hey honey did the Nana not leave that behind on one of her trips in a bid to get you to cook," Sandy said to Kirsten.

"Yeah she did actually." They smiled at each other as Ryan's eyes widened and he glared at Marissa who was ready to burst.

"Well at least it's being put to good use," Sandy said giving him a pat on the shoulder as he went outside.

"It suits you," Kirsten gave him a kiss on the cheek as she followed Sandy. Ryan turned to Marissa and glared at her. She couldn't hold it in anymore and started laughing.

"It's not funny."

"Yeah it is," she said still giggling.

Ryan took the apron off over his head and handed it back to Marissa.

"Hey, hey what're you doing?"

"I quit."

"You can't quit! We haven't even started yet!"

"I still quit."

Ryan started to leave when Marissa grabbed onto him.

"Wo, wo. Don't leave." She wrapped her arms around him and drew him towards her.

"I'm sorry," she said, putting on her cutest face that she knew Ryan wouldn't be able to resist. Ryan put his arms around her.

"I'll forgive you this time but I might not be so forgiving if it happens again."

"What, you mean if I make you wear Nana Cohen's apron to make pancakes again?" she said a smile creeping onto her face.

"Funny," Ryan said sarcastically, releasing his arms from around her.

"Wait, wait. I'm sorry."

She pulled Ryan's face towards her.

"I'm sorry," she leaned forward and captured his lips in a kiss. "I've got a better idea anyway. How about you go back to the pool house, I'll make the pancakes then I'll bring them out to eat together."

"That does sound like a better idea."

"Mmhmm," Marissa said as Ryan connected their lips. Marissa pushed him away playfully before they got any further. "Go! Or I may starve to death!"

"Ok, ok. I'll see you soon."

Marissa smiled as she watched him leave. She walked over to the counter and put the apron down. As she put it down she noticed her hand start to shake. It was starting, she could feel the headache coming. She swore she would stop, especially if things were going to be like today, but her body ached for the feeling of calmness when the liquid made it's way down her throat. She leaned on the counter top suddenly feeling light headed.

"Marissa?"

She stood up straight and turned to face Kirsten

"You ok? You look a bit pale."

"What, no, no, I'm fine. Honestly."

"Ok," Kirsten said not convinced. She had to confront Marissa sometime soon, then Ryan. But they just seemed so happy.

"I need to go and get a hair bobble to tie my hair back to make the pancakes," Marissa rambled quickly leaving.

* * *

Marissa went into the bedroom and pushed the door behind her. She opened up the suitcase. She moved clothes aside to try to find them. She gradually got more frantic when she couldn't find them and started throwing things out of the suitcase.

"Where the hell are they?" she said out loud. She knew she had put them in there. Or had she? Now she was just confused. A voice at the door suddenly startled her.

"Marissa?"

She quickly turned around to see Seth standing in the door way.

"What are you doing here?" she asked accusingly.

"Uh, it felt like there was an earthquake," he said looking at all of Marissa's belongings spread out over the floor. "What are you looking for?"

"_Act calm_," Marissa told herself.

"Umm I had a small bag with hair stuff. I'm just trying to find a hair bobble."

"That bag there?" Seth asked, pointing at the bag on the dressing table with hair bobbles lying beside it.

"Yeah, yeah. That's it. Thanks Seth. It's always the last place you look," she said smiling fakely.

Seth nodded not quite understanding what he was seeing in front of him. She just looked at him as he stood there. Seth looked back noticing her shaking hands.

"Anything else?"

"Oh, uh no. That's all," Seth said walking away with a frown. Marissa sighed once he had left. She picked some stuff up off the floor and threw it back in the case. She reached over and picked up a hair bobble with a shaking hand. She tied her hair back and took a deep breath.

"You can do it. You've got Ryan," she said quietly to herself.

* * *

Marissa picked up the tray with a plate of pancakes covered in chocolate sauce and strawberries and two glasses of orange juice. She made her way out to the pool house passing Sandy and Kirsten on the way.

"Hey Sandy, Kirsten."

"Hey kiddo," Sandy said smiling. "Wow Ryan is a lucky man."

Marissa smiled shyly and continued to the pool house. Ryan saw her coming and jumped off the bed to let her in.

"So this is the Marissa Cooper way," he said with a grin as she kissed him.

"Yup."

Ryan joined her as she sat down on the bed, placing the tray between them. Marissa picked up her fork and ate some pancake.

"Mmm. This is really good," Ryan said, his mouth full.

"Worth the humiliation with the apron?" she asked with a smile.

"Definitely."

They sat for a few seconds just looking into each others eyes. Marissa broke it, blushing slightly. They continued to eat in silence.

* * *

"So I wonder how your mom and dad are doing. Actually I wonder how Caleb is doing," Ryan said with a smile. Marissa smiled slightly. Ryan frowned at her. "Hey you ok? You don't seem as lively as earlier."

"That's because I had to make pancakes all on my own," she lied with a convincing smile.

"Admit it, I would have just gotten in the way."

"True though I would have had fun bossing you around."

"I bet you would." Ryan put his fork down. "Those were definitely the best pancakes ever."

"Why thankyou," Marissa said putting her fork down too.

"Mmm…wait…you've got a bit…" Ryan pointed to Marissa's face.

"What?" she asked touching her face.

"You've got chocolate sauce here," Ryan said pointing to the side of his lip. Marissa touched her own face. "No the other side." She tried to wipe again but missed it. "No…let me…" They leaned towards each other and Ryan kissed the side of her mouth getting rid of the sauce then moving onto her mouth. Ryan held the side of her face, stroking her cheeks as he deepened the kiss. So much for waiting for later.

* * *

"Hello parents," Seth greeted Sandy and Kirsten as he joined them outside.

"Hello son." Sandy replied. "You know we haven't really talked about you, what with all the Marissa drama that's been going on."

"Well I never thought the day would come that someone actually asked me to talk about myself."

"How's school? Summer?" Kirsten asked.

"Good," Seth replied.

"Wow that was really convincing," Sandy said sarcastically.

"You ok?" Kirsten asked him as he looked down.

"I also thought the day would ever come when I didn't want to talk to myself. I know that the drama with Marissa has kind of taken over everything recently but I don't think it's over."

Kirsten and Sandy looked at each other.

"What do you mean?" Sandy asked him.

"I witnessed a meltdown about half an hour ago."

"What happened?" Kirsten urged him on.

"I don't know. I was in my room doing homework when there was all of a sudden all this crashing. Being nosy I followed the noise which led to Marissa's room. The door was slightly ajar so I pushed it open carefully. Marissa was sitting in the middle of the floor with her suitcase open. She was throwing everything out of it clearly trying to find something. Then she said something to herself. I think it was 'where the hell are they?'. I said her name and she looked at me. Her look scared me actually. I don't know how to describe it but she looked scared as hell. She snapped at me. I asked her what she was looking for and she made up some pathetic excuse about looking for a hair bobble when there was a whole pile on the dresser. She just laughed it off saying things are always in the last place you look, but I saw her shaking hands….I'm sorry for spewing all this out but it was weird, I thought you should know."

Kirsten and Sandy looked at each other. They knew exactly what was going on. Seth looked at his parents.

"What is it? What did I say wrong?"

"It wasn't what you said Seth," Kirsten told him resting her hand on his. "It's just…" she looked to Sandy for help.

"We know why she had a 'meltdown'," he added.

"I don't understand," Seth said confused. Kirsten looked at Sandy who nodded for her to explain.

"Last night when I went to take Marissa's stuff up to the spare room I found…" she paused the horrible feeling she had felt when she found them coming back. "I found two vodka bottles in her suitcase."

"What?!" Seth said in disbelief. Kirsten nodded grimly. "I mean I know she likes to have a few drinks but an alcoholic?"

"She's not an alcoholic…she just has some problems with her drinking," Kirsten said weakly knowing that she wasn't convincing anyone including herself.

"Aka an alcoholic."

"Seth you're not helping," Sandy said.

"I just don't understand why. I mean does Ryan know?"

"No Ryan doesn't know, not really. I mean he has his suspicions, but we don't want you to say anything to him," Kirsten said.

"Well don't you think he has a right to know?"

"Seth it's not that simple," Sandy said sternly. "We need to keep this off his radar, just for a little bit. Too much is happening."

"And what about Marissa? Has anyone even spoken to her? We can't just let her do this to herself."

"We've not spoken to her. She doesn't know that we know."

"What so you're just going to let her go crazy, kill herself with alcohol poisoning?" Seth said in disbelief that his parents were letting it continue.

"Seth! Look, like your father said it's not that simple! We need to confront her about it in the right way or we could end up making everything worse."

"You guys don't understand though. You didn't see her last night or in the room," Seth scraped his chair backwards. "She needs help….she needs help now," he said before going back inside.

"Seth!" Kirsten shouted.

"Don't."

"What if he tells Ryan though?" Kirsten asked Sandy.

"He won't. He's not stupid. He knows that Ryan would go crazy blaming himself and god knows what else."

They sat in silence before Kirsten looked up at Sandy.

"I think it's time we confront her. "She stated sadly. It's been going on too long."

"How do we do it though?" Sandy asked. Kirsten glanced at the pool house where she could see Ryan and Marissa chatting.

"I think this is something I have to do. I was too late to help my mom, but it's not too late to help Marissa."

Sandy took her hand in his.

"It's going to be ok. We'll all get through this together." Kirsten nodded solemnly.

"I'm going to go talk to Seth," Sandy said standing up.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"I can't just leave it as it is. Don't worry," he leaned down and gave her a kiss before going inside. Kirsten looked back to the pool house. She was so happy earlier, happy now….so why? She was going to get to the bottom of it and she was going to do it soon. She wasn't going to let it go on for any longer.

* * *

So the drama's not quite over but don't worry there is always light after the dark, or is there...

As always greatly appreciate reviews!!


	34. The Whole Truth?

Here's the next installment:

Chapter 34: The Whole Truth?

Sandy knocked on the door. "Seth? Can I come in?"

"I'm busy."

Sandy ignored this and opened the door.

"I said I'm busy."

"Oh you look really busy," Sandy said looking at Seth sitting on his bed, his head stuck in a comic. Sandy sat on the end of the bed and sighed.

"I get why you're angry."

"No you don't. Just like you don't know why Marissa's drowning herself in alcohol, because you haven't talked to her," he said, his head still behind the comic.

"We're not her parents, it's not really our place."

"Oh you really think that Julie or Jimmy have any idea?"

"Look we only knew since last night and you saw her this morning, we could hardly say anything." Seth lowered his comic book and looked at his dad.

"You swear you've only known since last night?"

"Yes! I swear. But it's clearly been going on for much longer."

"Has Ryan not been saying for ages he's worried about how much Marissa's been drinking?"

"Yeah, and your mom feels so guilty now because Ryan came to see her about it but she just told him he was being silly."

"Ryan would never blame her."

"No but she still feels guilty, and that's why she is going to talk to Marissa tonight."

"She is?"

Sandy nodded.

"Well is there anything I can do to help?" Seth asked suddenly feeling guilty for leaving the burden on his parents.

"Just keep quiet for now. Act normal."

Seth nodded his head when Sandy's phone rang in his pocket. He took it out and flipped it open

"Hello? Yes this is Sandy Cohen…Uhh this afternoon….no, no 2:30 should be fine….ok, thanks."

"Who was that?"

"It was the police station. They want to question the four of you about last night."

"Good timing," Seth said sarcastically.

"Are you ok to go in this afternoon?"

"Don't you think that question should be directed elsewhere?"

"I'm going to have a word with Kirsten," he opened the door. "Hey are we ok?" he asked his son.

"Yeah, we're ok," Seth replied. "Not so sure about Marissa and Ryan though," he said quietly once Sandy had left, turning his attention back to his comic book.

* * *

"Hey," Kirsten said when Sandy walked into the kitchen.

"Hey."

"How'd it go with Seth?"

"I told him that you are going to talk to Marissa and to keep quiet. Oh also I got a call from the police station."

"About last night?"

"Yeah, they just want to talk to the kids."

"Good timing," Kirsten said sarcastically.

"That's exactly what Seth said," Sandy said with a smile. "Like mother, like son."

"Oh things are definitely not going well if I'm making the same sarcastic comments as Seth."

"I'm going to call Neil. Summer can come over here and I'll take all the kids to the station. Then I'll go and let Ryan and Marissa know."

"I can't wait until today is over," Kirsten said sadly.

"I know, I know. Just take it slowly it's not going to be easy." Sandy kissed her head and left the room to call Neil.

* * *

Marissa and Ryan walked into the kitchen with their plates. Ryan took Marissa's glass and put it by the sink. He put his arm lovingly around her shoulder and kissed her temple.

"So what's next on the agenda for our day of fun?" He squeezed her shoulder noticing she was still a bit distant.

"I don't know, what do you want to do? Today is supposed to be for you remember."

"Well if today is to make me happy then I want to make you happy because seeing you happy makes me…well happy, for lack of a better word."

Marissa smiled and laid her head on his chest. He wrapped both his arms around her, holding her close. "Though I do remember you mentioning something about video games…" he trailed off. Marissa smiled and looked up at him. "What? You're the one that said it….but you know only if you want to."

Marissa pecked his lips.

"If you want to I want to."

"Ok," Ryan kissed her back when a voice broke them apart.

"Ah Ryan, Marissa. I was just coming to find you guys."

"Hey Sandy," Ryan said, letting go of Marissa and putting his arm around his shoulder.

Sandy hated seeing them so happy knowing that he and Kirsten were just going to spoil it.

"Sandy?" Ryan said as Sandy stood in silence looking at them.

"Oh sorry. I just wanted to tell you that I got a call from the police station asking for the four of you to go in this afternoon. Just to answer a few simple questions, nothing major," he said trying to reassure them. Marissa nodded taking deep breath. Unfortunately she was used to going to the police station now.

"You ok?" Ryan asked her gently. She looked at his worried face.

"Yeah, I mean it's not like I haven't done it before," she said with a pathetic laugh. "Sorry," she said knowing it really wasn't something to joke about.

"As long as you're ok," Ryan said.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said very unconvincingly. She truthfully didn't wan to do it all again, sit in front of strangers and tell them all about something she wanted to put behind her.

"Well I phoned Neil told him that Summer can come over here and I can drive you all there." They all stood there in an awkward silence.

"Ok," Sandy said clapping his hands together. "I have to go and do…a thing," he said pathetically leaving Ryan and Marissa.

"Suddenly don't really feel like playing video games," Ryan said.

"No, no. I want to."

"You do?" Ryan said surprised.

"Yeah. I mean the last thing I want to do is spend the next few hours going over everything in my head."

"Ok, but just to warn you I am going to thrash you," Ryan said with a laugh letting go of Marissa and making his way to the tv.

"Oh really," Marissa said with a smile that rapidly disappeared. Marissa swallowed deeply. She held out her hand which was shaking. She stretched it trying to stop the shaking and out it back down beside her. She leaned her hands on the counter top for a second closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.

"Hey you coming?" Ryan shouted from the other room.

"Uh yeah I'm right behind you!" she called back. She straightened up and tried to walk confidently through to Ryan. Little did she know that Kirsten had been watching from the patio door. Kirsten realised that Seth was right: she needed help and she needed it now.

* * *

Ryan handed her a control and she sat on the couch which Ryan was leaning against, sitting on the floor. She smiled as Ryan eagerly settled in for the game. She realised at that moment just how much she loved him. But did he love her back as much? Of course he did, she hoped he did. But what if he didn't? She ignored these thoughts and leaned over Ryan. She caught his lips in a deep and passionate kiss sliding her tongue gently into his mouth. She smiled as she sat back up on the couch pretending like nothing had happened. Ryan sat there his mouth still open, in complete shock over what just happened. He turned and looked at Marissa who was sitting looking at the screen as though nothing had happened.

"Not that I'm complaining like at all, but what was that for?"

"What was what for? She asked innocently.

"You know what," he said with a smile.

"Nope. Now would you turn around, you're distracting me. I want to start the game."

* * *

"Come on!! Come on!! What the hell was that?! I could kick better than that!" Marissa shouted at the screen to one of her warriors. Ryan looked up at her as she leaned forward, a very concentrated and angry look on her face, attacking the control. Marissa noticed Ryan smirking at her.

"What's so funny?" she asked defensively.

"Nothing, nothing," he said with a smile. "It's just you're really sexy when you get angry."

"Ryan! I'm trying to play the game! Having you sitting there all aroused isn't going to help!"

"Fine then," he said standing up.

"Wait where are you going?"

Ryan clambered onto the couch and sat in behind Marissa, putting a leg either side of her.

"What are you doing?" she asked with a laugh as he struggled in behind her.

"Well you said you didn't want me sitting _there_ aroused so I thought I would sit here instead."

Marissa smiled and tilted her head back to look at him.

"Having you sit behind me is even more distracting," she said shifting back, grinding into him.

"You can say that again," he said with a blissful smile.

"Ryan it's the middle of the day!"

"I don't care," he replied.

"Yeah I can tell that. Actually no, I can feel it."

"What can I say? I've got you." He buried his head into her neck and kissed her gently on her neck.

"Yeah but we've also got Kirsten, Sandy and Seth," she said, though not complaining about his gentle kisses.

"Once again, I don't care because I've got you," he said moving from her neck. His mouth hovered over her lips. "Plus I don't exactly hear you complaining."

His heart melted when he saw an innocent smile cover her lips. Not being able to hold back any longer his lips met hers in a gentle kiss which didn't take long to loose control, neither of them having the slightest intention of slowing it down. She dropped her game control as the sounds blaring from the television faded into the background.

* * *

"Guys!! Is everyone ready to go?!" Sandy called through the house. "Anyone there?" silence. "Seth!!" he shouted loudly.

"Yes father?" Set said standing right behind Sandy. Sandy jumped in fright as he turned to look at Seth. He glared at his son who just grinned back.

"Come on lets go."

"Guys!" Seth called. Ryan, Summer and Marissa immediately walked through. Sandy threw his arms up in despair and shook his head.

"Come on everyone in the car." The kids all walked out to the car. "Honey, we're off!" he called to Kirsten who hurried in.

"Good luck," she said giving him a quick kiss. "I'll see you when you get back."

"Ok love you."

"You too," she said closing the front door behind him.

* * *

Sandy escorted Summer out of the room. Three down one to go. Summer walked over to Seth and hugged him tightly.

"Kiddo, you ready?" Sandy asked Marissa who looked like she wanted to throw up. Marissa stood still. Ryan hugged her.

"You'll be fine. Just tell them what you told me," he whispered in her ear. "I love you."

Marissa nodded as Sandy guided her over to the door. She glanced back at Ryan who tried to smile at her. He walked back and sat down on a chair beside Summer and Seth.

"Was it just me or did the dude look scarily like Fred Flintstone?" Seth asked. Ryan and Summer just looked at him. "Just me then," he said. "Just me," he sighed leaning his head back, staring up at the ceiling. He found himself counting the number of small tiles. Was this really what life had come to? None of them fitted in here. The past weeks didn't make sense. Things like this weren't supposed to happen to people like them. Then again nothing in life is certain. Anything can happen - in Marissa's case everything had happened.

* * *

"So Miss Cooper, there were three other hostages with you?"

"Yes," she said shakily.

"Could you talk me through what happened while you were held hostage? Take as much time as you need."

She hated it when they always asked a question but really you had no choice, they were telling you not asking you.

Marissa described everything that happened up to the point when he started….The memory of his hands on her sent shivers up her spine and made her feel physically sick. Her mouth went dry as she abruptly stopped talking.

"Miss Cooper? What happened next? What happened once they took the boy away?"

She couldn't bring herself to describe it, to go through it all again. It had been bad enough telling Ryan, but these strangers? She knew she couldn't do it.

"That was when he led me to the door and held the gun to my head. You know the rest."

"So he took you straight to the door?"

"Yes." Was he stupid or something? That was what she had just told him.

"Nothing else happened?"

"No," she said getting frustrated. She turned to Sandy to ask if they could leave when he asked her a question that made her freeze.

"Did he do anything to you, rape you?"

Marissa's head shot back to face the officer.

"Why do you ask that?" she asked very defensively.

"He had a history of assault, it's just a question we have to ask."

Marissa turned back to Sandy.

"Can we go now?" she asked desperately.

"Miss Cooper you didn't answer my question," the officer said firmly.

"Sandy…" she said quietly ready to move her chair back.

"Did he rape you?" he asked again.

"No!" Marissa suddenly shouted. "He didn't rape me! They took the boy away then he took me to the door. Nothing else happened!" she shouted, believing that the more she said it the quicker she would be able to forget that something did happen. "Nothing…nothing else…" she trailed off weakly.

"Ok," the officer said. "Thank you for your time Miss Cooper."

Marissa stood up and waited by the door.

"Thanks Mr Cohen," he shook Sandy's hand. "I'll give you a call if we need anything else."

"Thanks officer," he replied making his way to Marissa who was cowering at the door. "Come on kiddo. Let's go home." He opened the door and put his arm around her shoulder, guiding her out.

* * *

"Right who wants to go home?" Sandy stated as he and Marissa reached the others. Summer rushed over and hugged Marissa.

"You ok Coop?"

"Yeah I'm fine Sum," she said hugging her best friend back. Summer walked over to Seth and held onto his hand, following Sandy out to the car. Ryan walked over to Marissa.

"Hey," he gave her a quick kiss.

"Hey."

"Did it go ok? Did you tell them everything?"

"Yeah," she lied convincingly. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and walked with her out to the car.

"I'm proud of you, I know it must have been hard. But it's over now."

"Right," Marissa said attempting to smile as they got into the car. Ryan smiled back and held onto her hand, oblivious to the lie that she was telling him.

Sandy started the engine and slid in a CD.

"Ugh Dad, what is this?" Seth asked as music blared out.

"It's grease lightening. Have I ever told you that I used to get compared to Travolta back in the day?"

"Only like a million times," Seth said with a groan. Sandy opened his mouth to sing along. "Don't do it," Seth warned. Sandy chuckled and shook his head.

"I think it's good," Ryan stated from the back. Seth laughed.

"Yeah that's because you listen to Journey."

"Seriously man what is you problem with Journey?"

"Seriously man you really shouldn't even have to ask that question."

"Well I like it and I don't listen to Journey," Marissa said.

"See son you're outnumbered," Sandy said happily.

"Just you wait until I play some Death Cab," Seth stated.

"Oh there'll be no killing in my cab," Sandy joked. Seth shook his head and sunk into his seat, as they headed to Summer's to drop her off.

* * *

"Ryan whatever you say you won't turn me to Journey," Seth said marching into the house, closely followed by Ryan.

"Honey, we're home!" Sandy shouted.

"See Fred Flintstone!" Seth exclaimed.

"Hey guys," Kirsten said.

"I was showcasing some of my musical talents to the kids on the way home," Sandy said to her.

"Were you now?" she said smiling.

"Ugh I'm going to lock myself in my room and try to heal my bruised ears."

"I think I got some bad reviews," he said before giving Kirsten a light kiss on the lips when she reached him.

"I'm going to change into something more comfortable," Marissa said pecking Ryan on the cheek and following Seth upstairs.

"So did everything go ok?" Kirsten asked as she, Ryan and Sandy made their way to the kitchen.

"Yeah it was fine," Sandy replied. Ryan reached into the fridge and took out a bottle of water. He unscrewed the lid and gulped a mouthful down.

"Marissa and I decided this morning that we are going to go without any more drama which admittedly didn't last long but maybe now we can go drama free."

"Yeah maybe," Kirsten said forcing a smile knowing that it would only last a few hours before she spoilt it.

"Well she deserves a chance. You both do," Sandy added noticing Kirsten's forced smile.

"Yeah she's been through too much. I mean TJ, Oliver, the mugging, attempted rape."

"What?" Sandy said shocked.

"What?" Ryan asked confused.

"What did you say at the end?"

"Attempted rape. But you know about that." Sandy looked at Ryan blankly. "She told you and the cops today."

"She never said anything about attempted rape," Sandy said, now understanding why she had been so touchy.

"I don't understand. She said she told the cops everything."

"So this happened last night?"

Ryan nodded.

"When she was held hostage. She told me that he was touching her all over and was planning on…..but he ran out of time."

"Oh god," Kirsten said shaking her head, unable to believe what she was hearing. Was Marissa ever going to get a break?

"Hey," Marissa said cheerfully, walking into the kitchen. They all looked at her. "What?"

"Why did you lie to me?" Ryan asked.

"Ryan…" Kirsten said, not wanting him to upset her.

"What are you talking about?" she asked, honestly confused.

"You know what I'm talking about," he said bluntly.

"No, Ryan, I don't," she said, getting scared.

"You said you told them everything."

Marissa suddenly realised what he was talking about and looked down at her feet.

"Ryan, I…" she stammered.

"But you didn't, did you?"

"Ryan I couldn't!" she said, tears forming in her eyes.

"You told me."

"Yeah and you saw how hard that was! I didn't want to go through it again with a complete stranger! I thought you'd understand," she said sadly.

"I do understand I just wish you didn't lie to me."

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, a tear escaping her eye.

Ryan wrapped his arms around her.

"Don't cry. I didn't mean to upset you," he said soothingly. "Just remember I'm always here. You can tell me anything."

Marissa wiped her eyes and turned to Sandy and Kirsten who were standing there awkwardly.

"Will I have to go back to the station?" she asked Sandy hesitantly.

As much as Sandy didn't want to he nodded his head.

"It would be for the best, they don't like you hiding anything. I know it's horrible and a lot to ask from you but…."

"This is something I have to do," Marissa nodded with a sigh. This was what she needed. She needed her life back, and she wasn't going to let anyone or anything take it away from her again. The question was would she be able to? She just didn't understand what she had ever done wrong to get punished like this.

* * *

next chapter Kirsten confronts Marissa about the alcohol...There is still tons to come for this story with all sorts of storylines!! Just keep reading and you'll find out...

Please review!


	35. Together No Matter What

yay! eventually another chapter up. numero 35 with many more to come. i really will try to get the next one up sooner! hope you enjoy and thanks for the great reviews for the last chap, makes me very happy :)!!

  
Chapter 35: Together No Matter What

Seth screwed his eyes up. If only he had x-ray vision.

"Uh Seth, what are you doing?" Ryan asked looking at him strangely.

"Oh umm nothing," Seth said with a fake cough.

"It's you to go."

"Gees Ryan. Calm it. You cannot rush a man in poker."

"You've been looking at your cards for 5 minutes…I'd hardly call that rushing you!"

"I'm going to take even longer now, just to annoy you."

Sandy sat there shaking his head. He relaxed back in his chair taking in the early evening rays of sun. As Ryan and Seth bickered in the background he glanced at Marissa who was sitting at the pool edge reading a magazine, her feet dangling into the sparkling water. If an outsider saw her they would think she was just a carefree teenager. He knew that they couldn't be much more wrong. Sandy took his eyes off her as Kirsten walked outside.

"Hey guys," she said cheerfully.

"Hey," Seth and Ryan replied.

"_And here it begins_," Sandy thought to himself.

"So who wants to help me prepare dinner?"

"Sorry mom, we're in the middle of a very tense poker game."

"It would be tense if you would hurry up and play! I'll come and help," Ryan offered.

"No, no it's ok. Carry on with your game."

She knew exactly who she wanted to help her.

"Marissa!" she said cheerfully. "How do you feel about helping me prepare dinner?"

"Yeah sure, I'd love to," Marissa got up and slipped on her flip flops.

"Great," she made her way inside throwing Sandy a worried glance. Sandy gave her a slight nod. Seth watched this and watched Marissa follow Kirsten in, completely oblivious to what was about to happen. Seth looked at Sandy who simply looked back, a warning to act normal. Ryan inspected his cards with no idea of the events that were about to unfold.

* * *

"What do you want me to do?"

"Well the potatoes need peeling."

"I'm on it," Marissa picked up the potatoes and moved over to the sink.

"So Ryan looked like he was having fun playing poker," Kirsten said with a laugh trying to make light conversation to prepare herself. Marissa smiled.

"I remember I used to play card games with my dad. He would always let me win until I was about 12 when he realised that I could actually beat him. My mom would never play though, too worried about her nails. Those were the days," Marissa said smiling at the memory.

"How is it? With you and your mom?"

"It's been worse but it's still me and my mom, so how do you think."

"I guess everyone fights with their mom sometimes. When my mom battled with alcohol I always argued with her. Your dad helped me through that though. And you've got Ryan to help you." Kirsten watched as Marissa almost flinched at the mention of alcohol.

"Except my mom's not an alcoholic," Marissa said peeling the potatoes at the sink, her back to Kirsten.

"I'm not talking about your mom," Kirsten said almost bluntly, staring at Marissa's back. Marissa suddenly fell still and silent.

"I know Marissa," Kirsten said gently.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Marissa said quickly, picking up the peeler and peeling the potatoes frantically.

"I found the bottles, please don't lie to me," Kirsten pleaded. "Just tell me why."

"Why not?" Marissa asked, her back still turned to Kirsten.

"Because it's pointless. You're just hurting yourself never mind the rest of us. I watched my mom battle it and I won't let you go down the same path. And have you even thought of Ryan, what this will do to him?"

"So you're saying I'm being selfish?"

"No, I never said that," Kirsten replied with a sigh. Marissa placed the peeler on the worktop.

"You really want to know why?"

"Yes," Kirsten urged. Marissa turned around to see the concern etched across Kirsten's face. She felt tears brimming in her eyes as she looked at Kirsten.

"Because it numbs everything – the fear, the pain. Because I feel like I have control. Because I don't know what else to do!" Marissa rambled out as tears gradually slipped from her eyes. She stared at Kirsten who just looked at her not knowing what to say. "You can't understand. No-one can," she added sadly.

"Well we can't understand if you don't let us in." Marissa closed her eyes trying to stop the tears. "Tell me why you're scared," Kirsten said gently.

"I…I…I'm scared of losing everything and I couldn't…. I couldn't cope if that happened," she stammered.

"But Marissa you're not going to lose everything!" Kirsten reassured her, walking over and holding her hand tightly.

"I already lost Ryan once, I don't want to lose him again. I just don't know why he's with me. I mean I just keep screwing up his life. He's better of without me."

"He's with you because he loves you. We all do. He's not going to leave you."

"You don't know that. Nothing lasts forever," she swallowed deeply, a tear leaving a trail down her cheek. "And like you said, how would it make Ryan feel. I know how it would make him feel," she said, her voice shaking. "It happened after Oliver and it will happen again. Disappointment. That look in his eyes after everything with Oliver….he was so ashamed of me. It was horrible, I can't do it to him again. I just…I don't know what to do. I'm supposed to be perfect, have the perfect life but I'm screwed up and you know it. Everyone does."

"Nobody's perfect," Kirsten said trying to get through to Marissa that she isn't on her own.

"Maybe not. I just…I can't do it," she whispered. "I can't live like this anymore." Her shoulders hunched as tears now streamed from her eyes. Kirsten immediately wrapped her arms around her. Marissa sobbed onto her shoulder, holding her tightly.

"I'm scared Kirsten," she whispered through her tears.

"I know, I know," Kirsten whispered, gently rubbing her back. "But you don't have to be anymore, you're not on your own."

* * *

"Right guys, dinner's ready," Kirsten said to Ryan, Seth and Sandy.

"Ooh good, good. I need to refuel after that tiring poker game."

"Seth it was hardly tiring, we never moved off our seats. You know I would love to see…." Ryan trailed off his sentence when he saw Marissa standing in the kitchen, her eyes puffy and red from crying. "Wh…what's going on?" Ryan asked confused and worried. The room remained in a deadly silence as Marissa looked away from Ryan nervously and Kirsten looked at Sandy and Seth. "Ok would somebody just tell me what the hell's going on?!" he said getting angry.

"Ryan I'm sorry," Marissa whimpered as a tear escaped her eye.

"Sorry for what? What's wrong? You can tell me," he said as he rushed over to Marissa. He held her tightly at the tops of her arms. "Please Marissa. Please tell me what's wrong," he gently wiped a tear away as she closed her eyes unable to look at him.

"I…I… can I talk to you in the poolhouse?"

"On you go sweetie," Kirsten said gently. Ryan looked at her almost coldly. What could Kirsten have said that made Marissa like this? Marissa noticed Ryan look at Kirsten and felt guilty for putting the Cohen's in the middle of it all. Kirsten had only been trying to help her. Ryan reluctantly let Marissa go who immediately headed for the pool house. Ryan looked at the Cohen's. He knew that they knew what was going on and he hated being kept in the dark. He stormed out of the house and after Marissa.

* * *

Ryan walked into the pool house where Marissa was standing, her back to the door.

"Ryan there's something I have to tell you," Marissa whispered. The room fell into silence as Ryan waited for Marissa to go on.

"Marissa what is it? You're really starting to scare me."

Marissa walked over to the bed and sat on the edge. She clasped her hands in front of her and took a deep breath, her eyes looking at the ground.

"Truthfully I've been scaring myself recently."

Ryan frowned still not understanding where this was heading. Marissa eventually managed to look up at Ryan. She loved him so much, why was she so stupid?

"Ryan I…I…I have a drinking problem," she said quietly, her voice shaking. Ryan looked at her as it took a second for what she said to sink in.

Oh god! He had been so stupid. He had his suspicions but he had just blown them off. He had left her suffering all this time. He cursed himself for not helping her.

Marissa watched Ryan as it sunk in. She noticed a flash of anger sweep across his eyes as he stood there in silence.

"I'm sorry for being so stupid. I won't blame you if you leave now. I deserve it. I'm a mess, you deserve better than me Ryan. I'm so sorry. I…" Marissa was caught by surprise when Ryan's arms wrapped themselves around her as she cried out, tears cascading down her cheeks. Ryan couldn't believe his ears when she said this. He should be the one apologising. He was the one who wasn't there when she needed him the most.

"Don't say that. Please don't say that," he whispered to her as her body shook in his arms. "Just let me take care of you. That's all I want to do."

He didn't know how long it had been when Marissa eventually lifted her head off his shoulder. She sniffed quietly and tried to wipe away some tears. Ryan took hold of her hand and brought it down from her face. He gently kissed it and looked at Marissa.

"I know you're scared but….but why did you do it?"

Marissa found herself unable to speak as she felt more tears threaten to fall.

"Hey it's ok. You can tell me."

"Because I'm scared," she whispered.

"What are you scared of?"

"Anything. Everything. I just, I don't know. It was the only way I could feel in control. The only way to get rid of the fear…the fear of losing everything."

"You could have talked to me."

"No I couldn't because I love you Ryan! The more I realised how much I love you the harder it got to say anything 'cause I didn't want to ruin everything. But having you means there's always a chance that I could lose you but I don't want to lose you, I couldn't cope if I lost you. I…I don't want to disappoint you."

You could never disappoint me! And you're never going to lose me 'cause I'm not going anywhere. I'm not letting you go Marissa. I've already learnt my lesson. Will you let me help you?"

She looked at Ryan who looked back at her, never breaking eye contact. She nodded and whispered out an answer

"Yes."

"Come here." Ryan hugged her tightly to him. "Remember we're in this together."

* * *

Seth stopped chewing when Ryan and Marissa walked in, hand in hand.

"Let me heat your food up," Kirsten immediately said, getting up from the table.

"I'll help you," Sandy quickly followed her, wanting to see how she thought it went.

Seth watched his parents rush from the table. He turned to Ryan and Marissa and smiled at them awkwardly.

"Potato?" Seth raised his plate up. He gingerly brought it back down when Ryan and Marissa just looked at him. "Ok then." He stretched over to pick up the bread basket when Ryan looked at him. "Ok no bread either." Seth nervously tapped his knife off his plate and glanced around the room as Ryan and Marissa hovered beside the table. "Will you at least take a seat?"

Ryan nodded and pulled a chair out for Marissa.

* * *

"Well it looks like things went well," Kirsten said quietly to Sandy as they picked up the plates of food.

"Yeah. Do you think we should ask if they're ok?" Sandy asked her putting the plates in the microwave and turning it on.

"We have to but how do we do it without upsetting them?" Kirsten wondered.

"I don't know. Let's go," he took hold of Kirsten's arm and pulled her towards the table.

"Sandy what's the plan?" she whispered urgently as they got nearer the table.

"I don't know," he whispered back.

"You don't know?! Well that's just great!"

"Just go with it."

"Sandy…" she hissed, when Sandy elbowed her to get her to be quiet as they reached the table.

"Silence is a virtue," Seth said with a sigh. "Though one I am not very good with."

"Look Seth…" Marissa started when Sandy and Kirsten walked back in.

"Right that's the food in the microwave," Sandy said cheerfully but cringing inside at the obvious tension between the three teenagers. He smiled at them all eliciting no response. He nudged Kirsten to get her to say something.

"Uhh, umm..so that's the food in the microwave," she said sheepishly. Seth couldn't help but let out a muffled laugh.

"Thanks for confirming that mom."

"_Come on Sandy you must have something_," Kirsten thought to herself.

"_Come on Kirsten you're the brains in this marriage_," Sandy thought to himself.

"_I am not going to let them forget this one_," Seth thought to himself.

"_Would someone just say something…anything_," Ryan thought to himself.

"_Ok this is awkward. Right here goes_," Marissa thought to herself. She opened her mouth. "_Come on pull yourself together. It's not like they don't all know already..._"

Marissa scraped her chair backwards.

"Okay, I have something I want to say." She looked around them all and noticed their relief that someone else had broken the tension. "What I've been doing to myself…it was stupid and I'm sorry. And yes I do have to apologise," she said to Kirsten who was ready to say that she had nothing to apologise for. "All this time I've only been thinking about myself. I don't deserve friends and family as amazing as you guys but you're here for me and that's more than I could ever dream. From now on I'm going to change, I'm not going to shut anyone out. It's time that I let you all in, make sure you know how much I love all of you. "And getting past … this….it's something I have to do. Not just for myself but for you too. It's time to start over and I couldn't think of better people to do it with." Marissa could feel her eyes tear up. She meant it. Every single word.

"That's all we want sweetie," Kirsten said happily knowing that Marissa really did mean it. "Just remember that we're here."

Ryan stood up beside Marissa and held onto her hand, absently rubbing it gently with his thumb.

"Umm I just wanted to thank you," he said to Sandy and Kirsten. "If it wasn't for you guys god knows what could've happened. And I'm sorry for thinking that you had done something to upset Marissa," he said to Kirsten.

"Well you know I can't think of a better way to start over than sitting down for a family meal. And I know that the next while is going to be tough but we stick together no matter what," Sandy stated. A beep sounded from the microwave. "Ah perfect timing! God is on our side!" Sandy left the table to go and get the food.

"Praise the Lord!" Seth exclaimed. Kirsten, Ryan and Marissa just looked at him strangely. "Too far?" Kirsten smiled at him and sat down. Ryan turned to Marissa and kissed her gently.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Together no matter what."

"No mater what," he said with a smile. They sat down as Sandy brought their plates through.

"Thanks," they both replied. Seth picked up the bread and held it out to Ryan. Ryan smiled and took a piece.

"People, that there was a very symbolic turning point of this new era," Seth exclaimed.

"He took a piece of bread," Kirsten said simply.

"Mother do you not know of the symbol of Virgin Mary on the toast. This is bread but I think that you get the point."

"Yeah that you're crazy," Ryan replied.

"It is a new era buddy. You'd better get used to it."

"Do I have to?"

"No matter what bro. I think that includes me."

They all ate in silence for about 10 seconds until Seth suddenly spoke.

"Oh hey I have a joke!"

"Can we not have a bit of peace?" Kirsten said as Sandy groaned

"Haha, you guys are funny. Anyway on with my joke. Ok soo there's these 2 muffins in an oven. They're both sitting, just chilling and getting baked. And one of them yells "God Damn, it's hot in here!" and the other muffin replies "Holy Crap, a talking muffin!"!" Seth grinned as the room fell into silence.

"And that's what 17 years of stressful child rearing has brought us!" Sandy chuckled to Kirsten.

"I think it was pretty funny," Marissa said with a smile, feeling sorry for Seth.

"Ah hah, Marissa thinks it's funny," Seth aimed at Sandy.

"Don't encourage him!" Kirsten warned jokingly. "He's going to be cracking jokes every time he sees you now!"

"You know I don't get it," Ryan stated looking puzzled.

"That's because you're from Chino."

"What has that got to do with anything?"

"Remember there's no laughing in Chino, and why is that?"

"Because no one there is as funny as you," Ryan recited.

"I have taught him well," Seth said proudly.

"Well I think cheers is in order," Sandy said lifting his glass up. The others all followed suit. "To a new era. May it be one that we never forget for all the right reasons. Cheers!"

"Cheers!" they all replied, clinking their glasses together.

Ryan clinked his with Marissa's and gave her a kiss.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

And with that they entered the new era. Whether it is going to be good or bad only time can tell….

* * *

please review! 


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